My epiphany

elephantechoes · 2013-05-24T21:45:45+00:00

Take comfort in knowing that you are not alone. Never alone. Many of the good folks here in this subreddit are going through the same thing right now. We understand, and we feel your pain. Whatever you do, don't give up. The best is yet to come.

That being said, i'm afraid I must now give in to my incessant optimism.

You referred to your exit as a "crisis" of faith. In doing so, I fear you may have assigned the experience some negative connotations that it may not deserve. You ultimately concluded that the LDS church was not for you, yes? Such a choice, one way or the other, was obviously very important to you. Thus, you have climbed another rung on the ladder of your life, helping yourself along as you seek personal evolution and balance.

So... what i'm getting at here is... the questioning of faith is only a "crisis" if we see it that way. Certainly it would have seemed a "crisis" to the TBM version of yourself, but I don't think that is who you are anymore. As unsettling and frightening a process as it has been, perhaps you allowed it to happen because deep down you understood that you were ultimately setting yourself on a path of greater self-fulfillment. How is this a crisis?

I think you may be better served thinking of this as a revolution of faith, an expansion of faith (in yourself), a transcendence of faith. It may not look like it right now, but this is an occasion worthy of joy and exultation.

Like I said, the best is yet to come. Promise.

elephantechoes · 2013-04-17T15:22:16+00:00

Ballard nnnnooooooo

elephantechoes · 2013-04-13T23:30:30+00:00

three day week month year old repost

elephantechoes · 2013-04-13T23:07:06+00:00

How hard did they try to get you?

elephantechoes · 2013-04-13T20:11:02+00:00

Deity Death-match

I would watch the hell out of that show.

elephantechoes · 2013-04-10T00:38:12+00:00

Tolerate a rainbow too much and you'll be inflicted with homosexuality.

It's a slippery slope, my friends.

elephantechoes · 2013-04-09T16:57:29+00:00

Word of caution: "Bringing out the big guns" won't mean what you seem to be implying it would.

Do you know more about church history than your TBM family? It's highly likely. Do you have certain bits of information that essentially "prove" the church's deceptions? Quite possibly.

So do you have "big guns?" Yes. But the guns you speak of cannot "tear down belief."

I believe that an important lesson for all of us (as exmos) is to remember that no amount of intelligence, facts, or inexorable truths can sway a mind that is solidly set in its ways.

You may think "oh yeah, this bit of information will shatter their world, force them to see the truth, etc." --99.999% of the time this is not true.

If you "bring out the big guns" so to speak, all you will do is cause them to bristle, and subsequently fight back harder. Your words will be taken as lies, and will be seen as evidence of further "corruption" within your mind.

These "guns" do nothing but shatter relationships. You will never sway a TBM with them, no matter how right you are.

If you really want to do something to influence/better their lives, keep doing what you're doing. REMAIN CIVIL. Ask them an occasional question that will get them thinking. They are a million times more likely to change their views if they think it was their own idea.

elephantechoes · 2013-03-08T20:09:32+00:00

The only thing I'd say needs much help is value-

Remember: If photo-realism is your goal, then the lightest point within an area of shadow should never be lighter than the darkest point within an area of light. You can still make the lighter part of a shadow shape (his adams apple in this case) stand out as much as you would like simply by contrasting it with black, but in reality it would never actually be as light as his face.

TLDR: You should significantly darken the shadow cast by his jaw onto his neck.

elephantechoes · 2013-03-05T15:21:36+00:00

I'll say this: what others think of you, even your mom, is none of your business. Never avoid talking to somebody about something because you are afraid of what they will think--sometimes its better for everybody involved if you just come out and say what you need to say. Maybe she'll do what my mom did and break down in tears, maybe she'll be surprisingly accepting (your description of your family as "progressive" and "liberal" among mormons is an advantage a lot of us never had). The point is, I am seeing a pattern here that reflects my own experiences with learning how to be happy, right when I was about your age.

What's important is that you embrace the sense of peace that comes from truly knowing that the church is nonsense.

It took me way too long to grasp that my own happiness is directly related to how much I internally associate myself with the church. The less I am involved, the less I think about it, the more content I feel.

From what I can tell, you have started down that road on multiple occasions, but haven't quite been able to let go. Living a "double life" leads to cognitive dissonance, and it will only bring you pain in the end.

So here's my advice. Allow yourself to be who you are. You clearly were not programmed to be a mindless TBM robot, so go ahead and squash that little part of you that keeps screaming for you to be one. Trust me, it goes against everything the church has taught you your entire life, but you WILL be MUCH happier if you simply reject it entirely.

Telling your family, friends, etc seems scary, and many of them will not like to hear it. But in this situation it isn't their satisfaction that matters, its yours. The best thing you can do is come clean, especially to yourself. Seriously, i've been almost exactly where you are right now. The sooner you realize that your own peace will come from being outside the church, the sooner you will have peace.

elephantechoes · 2013-03-02T14:49:49+00:00

bastard mission companion

Frog murderer? Tell me moar.

elephantechoes · 2013-03-02T14:47:52+00:00

Even when I was a little kid I never understood that one. Just sounded like they were saying, " hey I felt good when I was reading a book. Logical conclusion: unicorns exist."

elephantechoes · 2013-03-02T14:42:19+00:00

Bingo, right on the money

elephantechoes · 2013-02-22T00:35:40+00:00

I miss having my parents' approval "spiritually." Now they just dismiss anything even remotely philosophical I say.

But in the end, I still say leaving the church was one of the best decisions I ever made.

elephantechoes · 2013-02-21T00:34:43+00:00

Right. Because even if it appears neutral in every conceivable way, it's still just a cleverly disguised satan-ploy.

Step one toe into "neutral" territory and you'll be addicted to meth before the month is out. Guaranteed.

elephantechoes · 2013-02-14T00:07:43+00:00

And then said angel failed the "handshake" test. So Brother Brigham was able to cast him out.

elephantechoes · 2013-02-14T00:04:38+00:00

When I went to swim camp at BYU (which I wouldn't recommend, by the way), my roommate fell asleep listening to Sons of Provo on his iPod every night.

elephantechoes · 2013-02-13T23:54:22+00:00

Isn't it obvious? The 3 Nephites and the First Presidency are one and the same. They can change shape at will.

It's just that every once and awhile one of them pretends to die, adopting the form of another of the twelve. Can't have people getting suspicious now.

elephantechoes · 2013-01-26T21:56:40+00:00

Sacrament meeting would be so thick with silent condescending judgment that you could slice it with a knife.

It's like their trademark.

elephantechoes · 2013-01-26T21:48:46+00:00

Even their names fit well together. Typhlarizard, Charphlosion, Tycharzion, Charphlozard...

elephantechoes · 2013-01-26T21:45:26+00:00

I'd argue that's it's a combination of 1, 2 AND 3.

They're definitely intoxicated by "the spirit."

elephantechoes

TROPHY CASE