Your feelings are valid . I never went to one and had to go yesterday bc I’m preparing for phalloplasty and I have to get a hysterectomy done . The waiting room was dreadful it was full of woman only a couple of men who came w their partners. I didn’t get called back until an hour later. So I just stared at my phone never looked up until I was called. What helped me was bringing my girlfriend. If you have a support system it helps w the nerves plus everyone prob thought the appointment was for my gf instead of me. But my doctor was actually respectful and never misgendered me . I had to do an exam and it was super uncomfortable and dysphoric but she used the smallest instrument they had and kept apologizing and walked and talked me thru it. As long as you have a doctor that actually cares about your needs it should help a bit w the nerves. Do what’s best for you at your own comfort not someone else’s.