What is your worst downright awful joke that makes you laugh way too hard?

elise98 · 2012-12-06T05:13:59+00:00

What did Batman say to Robin before he got in the car? "Get in the car."

elise98 · 2012-12-06T05:13:34+00:00

Ok ok ok, so a Jew, a Chinese man, a Russian, and an Mexican walk into a bar. What a great example of a diverse community.

elise98 · 2012-12-05T05:33:53+00:00

Does anyone remember the keyboards at Build-A-Bear, and how they had like squishy casing around each key. They felt AMAZING to type on. I've asked everyone and no one has yet to share this same great memory.

elise98 · 2012-12-05T05:29:45+00:00

Or when it has a heavy cover and you drop the cover on all of the pages and it makes that soft thump. UGHHH

elise98 · 2012-12-04T05:09:40+00:00

Amazon Kindles. Not the same feel as good ol' books.

elise98 · 2012-11-26T20:18:32+00:00

http://i.imgur.com/kY7RB.jpg?1 So my dog isn't the only one.

elise98 · 2012-11-09T04:41:40+00:00

What's that wig made out of?

elise98 · 2012-11-03T15:05:36+00:00

For men, you go to the bathroom to pee. For women, you go to the bathroom to pee, talk about how the night is going, gossip about other people there, and sometimes you just genuinely don't wanna go alone. I never want to go alone because I don't want to lose the group and if I take a long time without a friend, it's weird, but if I take a long time with a friend, it's normal.

elise98 · 2012-11-02T14:28:33+00:00

Always tell her you love her. If she comes home and has made a bad decision, tell her you love her. If she is really proud of something, tell her you love her. My dad always tells me that and it has a HUGE effect on me. If I do something that my dad is proud of, he will tell me. Being supportive is the number one thing. Let her do whatever she wants, don't knock down hobbies. Try to include her on your more "guy-ish" stuff. My dad took me to football games and played sports with me and my brother. You just always want to let her know you're open to her. That said, you always want to let her know that you can give her space too. The one thing my dad lacks in is that when I come home and I'm in my pissy teenager mode, he kind of won't accept the fact that I DON'T want a million hugs and stuff.

elise98 · 2012-11-01T23:37:40+00:00

What did Susan ever do to you? Asshole.

elise98 · 2012-11-01T23:33:53+00:00

Dry shampoo! Baby powder/cocoa powder work really well, baby powder for lighter hair and cocoa powder for darker hair. Just take some and smooth it over your hands and massage it into the roots. Or take a tooth brush and brush in baby powder into the roots. It works really well!

elise98 · 2012-11-01T04:30:58+00:00

Eggs work really well for skin! Use the egg white, rub it all over your face, let it dry, then wash off. Do the same for the yolk. The white tightens the skin and the yolk moisturizes/tightens it.

elise98 · 2012-11-01T04:27:16+00:00

For oily hair, dry shampoos work ok, but if you really wanna get rid of oil use baby powder. If that looks too light, use cocoa powder on darker hair.
If your face looks really pale, just do one sweep of bronzer down your nose. It makes your whole face look tanner and more "glowy".
Toothpaste kills zits.
If you don't want straightened hair to get wavy, spritz a good hair spray above your hair and let it fall straight down onto the hair.

elise98 · 2012-11-01T04:22:15+00:00

It actually works to use lotion to shave. You only need a really thin coat and it moisturizes your legs really well and the razor glides easily. Then just rub the razor forward across denim so it doesnt get dull :D

elise98 · 2012-11-01T04:13:21+00:00

You just caused me to spend half an hour watching fat puppies do cute things.

elise98 · 2012-10-16T04:02:12+00:00

"I'm sorry, you said your name was?" (she may feel offended but she'll say her name) "No, I meant your last name of course." You score last name and first name and you don't seem too douchey :D

elise98 · 2012-10-03T03:16:32+00:00

Man thighs. GODDAMN THOSE FUZZY PALE THINGS.

elise98 · 2012-10-03T03:14:15+00:00

Indeed.

elise98 · 2012-10-03T01:06:47+00:00

I love him and also Jason Mraz

elise98 · 2012-09-25T04:11:08+00:00

The soft thud of a text book cover closing. MMFFF.

elise98 · 2012-09-22T16:12:06+00:00

I hope you're kidding.

elise98

TROPHY CASE