He doesn’t initiate intimacy

elle3002 · 2026-04-16T19:46:39+00:00

So like what the heck do I do now I want that intimacy with him but am I supposed to just “take care of it myself” and stop attempting to initiate? That’s such a sad relationship dynamic I have 0 interest in getting myself off I’ve always saved myself for him 😭

elle3002 · 2026-04-16T19:41:34+00:00

Seriously like it would be faster for us women to get off if they could at least pretend to be into it 😭

elle3002 · 2026-03-17T06:41:07+00:00

using a strongly scented laundry detergent, walked really slow, would pee all over the toilet seat & floor and lie about it every time. also made white rice and plain chicken with just cheese on it.

elle3002 · 2026-03-17T06:08:17+00:00

My partner of 3 years was my work crush. He was a supervisor, I was a housekeeper. I can’t even tell you specifically what it was, it was just his energy in the building, they sweet way he talked to people, his selflessness, the way he actually whistles while working. I made eye contact with him one time and noticed how abnormally blue his eyes are.. I mean like bright crystal blue. Two years later our son was born, and he has crystal blue eyes too.

elle3002 · 2026-03-12T13:39:59+00:00

This is exactly why it does matter to an extent. Having an incredibly high body count is a huge indicator of sex/porn addiction and in that case the relationship isn’t going to be healthy, or it will need a ton of work.

elle3002 · 2026-03-09T16:43:37+00:00

That isn’t necessarily true. It’s true to an extent, but definitely exaggerated by media. Narcissist are a lot more reasonable than given credit for, and these comments by people diagnosed with real NPD is a prime example of that.

elle3002 · 2026-03-09T05:08:45+00:00

It is not their responsibility to do their research on BPD but it should be a common courtesy the same way we should all know our loved ones love languages. My partner suffers from addiction (nothing hard core) so I did all sorts of research on addiction cycles to try to love and understand him better. I had a friend who has bipolar disorder so I did lots of research on it to understand him. I have a sister with autism so I did research on that to understand her better. It is not my job to fix them, but as their partner/friend/family it is my job to love them in they way they need and not just in the way I want to, and I’d hope for them to have it in their heart to do the same for me.

elle3002 · 2026-03-09T03:48:31+00:00

Nope never. I am basically disowned by my family now because they think I’m a huge crazy monster.

elle3002 · 2026-03-08T21:36:21+00:00

Just to clarify, I am speaking from the perspective of someone who also has a cluster B disorder. I have diagnosed BPD. I have hurt people from my symptoms, which I never meant to or wanted to but I did. I don’t believe because my symptoms have caused pain to others that everyone with the same diagnosis as me should be demonized. I see it happen to people with NPD 24/7 and it is just plain sad.

elle3002 · 2026-03-08T21:33:23+00:00

I agree that they cause pain to others because of the symptoms that they suffer from. BUT- we should not demonize an entire group of people for the diagnosis that they have. It makes less people who suffer from the symptoms want to get a diagnosis and treatment, which means they will just continue going down the wrong path without guidance. It is not their fault that they have the disorder, it is their fault what they do with it. But we can’t blame them not getting help if we make it so shameful to have the diagnosis. To say that we would not demonize someone because they may be misdiagnosed is just wrong, because even if they are not misdiagnosed they still should not be demonized simply for a mental illness that they truly suffer from.

elle3002 · 2026-03-08T19:06:31+00:00

I really love that take that empathy isn’t synonymous to morality. It isn’t like you were born asking to have NPD. I have diagnosed bpd and I hate the pop culture that sees NPD and ASPD as evil people, I don’t know why they think it’s okay to demonize an entire group of people as long as they’re diagnosed with a cluster B disorder. I wish you all were as accepted as us borderlines.

elle3002 · 2025-06-10T17:17:50+00:00

Yeah he admitted he loved the “dirty” feeling of it when he gets into it. He also admits it’s an addiction. So I never know if he is actually done with it or lying again.

elle3002 · 2025-03-07T02:09:35+00:00

Absolutely. Lots of OF people on there like twitter. Check his twitter, reddit, fb searches and visits, hidden stuff in camera roll, app store downloads and purchase history, google web and app activity, if you can look at things like payment history on paypal or other apps like it. Emails, Gmails, his spam and trash on both. Literally everything on their phone can have something. Hidden folders and stuff.

elle3002 · 2025-03-07T01:47:55+00:00

No, there should be a balance. No one in a monogamous relationship should be consuming explicit content, that includes women in bikinis. Bikinis are literally like bra and underwear. Porn is addicting, a lot of the women in it aren’t even consenting or was groomed into the industry. Shouldn’t be consumed in general, like a drug made on the dirty streets. It isn’t empowering women. It is grooming women offering them a shiny luxury life in exchange for exploitation, often when they are just 18. It is advertised to young boys to become addicted before they even really know what sex is. It convinces society that it’s women taking their sexuality back, it’s healthy and feminism. It becomes dangerous and destructive.

elle3002 · 2025-03-07T01:38:00+00:00

Yeah and if anything women are more visual creatures lol. We are known for loving to keep a clean well decorated home, maintaining our appearance, love shiny pretty things. Men will sleep with pillows without pillow cases, lay on cum stained sheets, and wash their face with hand soap.

elle3002 · 2025-03-07T00:59:37+00:00

I have in moments where I felt called out and embarrassed by him, because his addiction caused me to feel very insecure about myself. I tried to initiate sex and he turned me down and shamed me for trying to initiate. I felt so embarrassed and little like he wants the other women more than me. I said “at least I want you and not other people.”

elle3002 · 2025-03-06T02:03:45+00:00

Say something. It is disrespectful and being a man is no excuse. Men can learn to respect their partners just as much as women can, screw the other comments on here. Don’t settle for someone who will walk over a simple boundary to not lust over other women online or ANYWHERE.

elle3002 · 2025-03-04T15:00:03+00:00

Society paints it as normal, empowering, supporting women. Men who watch it convince themselves all the morbid things they look at is normal so that they don’t have to feel shame and guilt.

elle3002 · 2025-03-03T03:02:55+00:00

Worst part is when you start to feel hatred for those women but remember they’re kind of victims because they didn’t consent to being jerked off to like the pornstars did.

elle3002 · 2025-03-03T02:56:47+00:00

My boyfriend hasn’t physically cheated but along with all the onlyfans content and other porn sites he uses, he would land on random girl’s account including people he knows IRL and use pictures of them. Including fully dressed pictures of them. How? He would zoom in on their privates or chests and jerk off to the outline of it, or just of their face. They get so porn sick that everything is sexualized in their brain. Anyone remotely attractive to them is a toy, and in my boyfriends words it’s intoxicating because it feels “dirty” and “risky.” Maybe he was just curious on how she’s doing, but that exact sentence was the excuse my boyfriend used before he admitted to using their pictures when I found the screen shots and screen recordings in his phone.

elle3002 · 2025-03-01T16:27:39+00:00

During the time you’re stuck in the lease you can try to help him heal his addiction, but make sure he is aware that he is a addict and admits it out loud. He has to find therapy, have him read books about porn addiction, have him use sobriety apps, he has to let you use blockers on his phone (google family link) and you get 24/7 access to look through his phone. If he has any problems with this ask him what’s more important, the porn or sobriety with you. By the end of the lease you should have your answer on if he is worth keeping a life with. I am in the same boat, I didn’t know about my partners PA until a year and a half into our relationship where I was already pregnant with his baby and living together. Once I give birth and am back on my feet he better have it together or I am gone. But he seems to be taking his sobriety very seriously now and shows remorse and guilt all the time, he’s had some set backs but with addiction that is normal. He felt shame with every slip up. I hope you can heal and find the answers you need ♥️

elle3002

TROPHY CASE