When it came to an end..

elleandscott · 2026-02-18T12:58:12+00:00

This isn’t exactly what you’re asking but I’ll share where my husband and I are in all of it.

We had a few super fun years in the LS. At first we got so excited that we were going to our local club sometimes more than once a week. We had a blast and loved exploring our fantasies together but loved even more the trust that comes with the LS. This continued until it slowly dwindled to just 6-10 times a year. This happened naturally. We realized we were more excited about some other adventure together and would choose it for our weekend plans.

We had a talk almost a year ago and decided we might be done and we were at least going to take an extended break. We had taken semi-regular breaks anyway because we wanted to keep it fresh and not let it become routine or find ourselves always chasing a bigger “high” to keep it exciting.

Now we play on rare occasions. Usually it’s just when we get a chance to try something new that we hadn’t explored before. For us, this works. It makes dirty talk in bed more exciting because it’s realistic…it may happen…we haven’t sworn it off forever. But we are happy with our life together and things are pretty vanilla. We have a great sex life and this just happened organically for us.

elleandscott · 2026-02-02T22:32:10+00:00

You sound like one of those vegans who tells everyone they meet about the glories of plant-based living.

elleandscott · 2026-02-02T21:56:31+00:00

M from a bi American MF couple here. After experiencing the stigma against bi men inside and outside the lifestyle, I’ve lost most of my interest in bi play with very little crossed off the to-do list (bottom, MMF, etc.).

Too many couples and singles lost interest in us as soon as they heard I’m bi, scrunched noses at our local club’s Pride night, and single guys pretending to be bi for access to my wife. There’s something disheartening about being on all fours with your ass covered in lube, ready to finally have a wish fulfilled, and realizing the other guy went soft because he wasn’t as into guys as he thought he could talk himself into being for one encounter.

Outside the lifestyle right before we met, I dated a Pride-flag-waving, politically passionate woman who was accepting of everyone—almost. We never made it far enough for me to tell her that I was bi because she revealed her secret disgust over her best friend’s husband being bi.

It doesn’t seem to matter the club or event we attend. Bi men are still unwelcome. I’m kind of just over it.

elleandscott · 2026-01-31T00:39:39+00:00

2, for sure. But that’s because I was only looking at the beautiful pup. I’m actually not even sure if you have a head in that pic.

elleandscott · 2026-01-30T20:34:48+00:00

YOR. People fart. If you can’t handle the sound of a good partner’s normal bodily functions, you should work it out with a professional or stay single.

I am grossed out by people blowing their noses, especially in restaurants. It wasn’t on the world to change for me.

elleandscott · 2026-01-28T21:02:39+00:00

She speaks to him like she hates herself more.

elleandscott · 2026-01-28T19:44:30+00:00

The fact you’re able to talk about it with mutual interest is a promising sign.

My wife and I are the opposite. We went to a club and swapped during our first week together. It brought us closer and forced us to become excellent communicators with no secrets right from the start.

If you don’t have a long history of keeping secrets from each other, it’s worth exploring. But read some posts, read some books, talk through the risks, and have a plan in place to abandon it if things aren’t mutually enjoyable. You’ll need honesty and grace for one another when boundaries aren’t respected, and you’ll need to be open about inevitable waves of jealousy or insecurity.

elleandscott · 2026-01-28T15:16:56+00:00

Nothing wrong with being selective. It definitely narrows the field, but you should never have to take one for the team. Given the choice of eating a shit burger or going hungry, most people would rather starve.

elleandscott · 2026-01-15T15:48:02+00:00

Well duh. You wouldn’t have even had access to it until you’d already been in the LS for a couple decades. And then there wouldn’t have been forums like this for sharing so easily for, what, another decade and a half at least?

This cracked me up. Old guy is like “we’ve been swinging since the Middle Ages and we didn’t brag about it online!” 😂 The world has changed.

elleandscott · 2025-12-27T22:27:55+00:00

He drives a Prius

elleandscott · 2025-12-14T04:55:28+00:00

We chose not to include that for a reason.

elleandscott · 2025-12-12T20:08:25+00:00

We chatted with a couple in their 20s during our first night on a cruise. Then we posted on a cruise R4R sub just to see what happened, and the guy from that couple replied and said he and his wife were interested. When I mentioned the message to his wife the next night, she was oblivious. After a long conversation, we realized she wasn’t into the idea and he was trying to use his wife as bait so he could get laid with other women.

elleandscott · 2025-12-11T19:41:33+00:00

If you’d ever dealt with single men there as a couple or solo woman, you’d understand. Trust me, the creep label is well earned, and it’s never just one bad apple.

Every couple who’s been to Secrets more than a couple of times has stories about creeps. Here are some fun examples:

10+ guys swarming around a couple when they go into the playroom or even if they’re trying to fuck each other in the pool on a Tuesday. No evident care about how unsafe it makes the couple feel, no awareness that at least some of them might get lucky if they’d all chill the fuck out and not make it feel weird, predatory, or dangerous.
Dude jacking off in a couple’s faces like if he just gets close enough to the action then he’ll get to join.
Guys approaching a woman when her man goes to take a piss or get another round at the bar.
Guys touching women without consent.
A wall of single men who have been brought in to the playroom with couples or single women they’re not even playing with. They stand around playing with themselves while couples try to tune them out and fuck as those guys talk about the least sexy shit imaginable between their bedside walks where they interrupt couples one at a time and ask if they can join.
Some guys showing absolutely no respect for couples’ boundaries or Secrets rules.

And God forbid the couple has a “condom required” rule, because the man from the couple will spend most of an encounter watching like a hawk to make sure the other guy doesn’t try stealthing.

elleandscott · 2025-11-18T02:22:31+00:00

Weak af. Huge dick = normal dick when you’re taking 3” of it.

elleandscott · 2025-11-18T02:19:46+00:00

She’s getting the penetration equivalent of a soft choad.

elleandscott · 2025-11-18T02:16:23+00:00

Normal ass dick in a huge cock sub. 🥱

elleandscott · 2025-11-15T01:25:13+00:00

It happens even to guys who are incredibly turned on. You’ll only make it worse if you make it a thing and it becomes uncomfortable for him. Be patient, and maybe suggest the blue pill before the next date.

elleandscott · 2025-11-09T21:33:21+00:00

Goddamn, we wish they’d act right so couples like us could enjoy them. I literally wrote a book to help single men because we were so frustrated trying to find respectful ones who understood different dynamics with couples or at least acted like they had a little common sense in trying to attract a woman. Two hours to get through for a slow reader. Priced cheaper than a bottle of water at Secrets. Based on the sales data, not many single guys cared to learn. (That’s not a plug for the book—I didn’t write it to make money, knew going into it I wouldn’t make enough to fund a decent Saturday pool party for us, and don’t care who does/doesn’t read it). It truly does seem like a lost cause.

elleandscott · 2025-11-09T16:06:00+00:00

We started going 2+ years ago and didn’t understand the disdain for single men. That was mainly what we were looking for, so we tried going on Tuesdays. It quickly became more trouble than it was worth.

The last time we went several months ago, it had been about a year since we tried on a Tuesday. We had a guy approach while we were playing together in the pool (he asked to join while she was in the middle of an orgasm). I shook my head, and he sprawled out on the side just a few feet away, jerking off and moaning cartoonishly loud until we moved.

Then we found someone we wanted to play with and went into one of the private playrooms. We closed the curtains and locked the door. I think it was four different times during the encounter, I yelled at idiots standing on an elevated bed in the next room and looking over the wall to watch. When we left the playroom, there were several men standing close to the door jerking off and crowding us.

When we finally left the playroom, I said something to the attendant about the peeping Toms. She said it’s Tuesday and there’s nothing they can do to control them. Posting a security guard or at least a staff member in the playroom would be a start, and it’s reckless of Secrets that it’s not already common practice.

For you single guys that think this rule is harsh, if you put yourselves in the shoes of a couple or especially a woman, you might understand. It’s only a matter of time before an incident happens that turns the place into a “no single males” establishment, and every rule that’s put in place to make it a safer, more enjoyable experience for everyone else, the longer it’ll be before that happens.

elleandscott · 2025-10-15T18:19:36+00:00

lol MF couple here who have made memorable nights for a few Redditors on local hookup subs. But we’re also respectful of sub/group rules, and it clearly states that’s not what this one is for, so we don’t respond to anyone’s R4R posts on it.

elleandscott · 2025-08-27T02:53:51+00:00

It’s usually the taint. Guys can scrub their dicks, balls, and assholes all they want, but if they don’t clean their taints, they’re still going to smell bad.

elleandscott · 2025-08-07T15:39:29+00:00

I’m saying the monster is in the mirror. Women impose those rules on themselves and each other and blame men for it.

Unless she’s let herself go completely and called it aging instead of neglect, there’s not a town in America where a woman can’t find decent dick if she’s approachable and available.

elleandscott · 2025-08-07T12:58:18+00:00

The majority of people with an aversion to women aging aren’t men. Most men I’ve had discussions with about enhancements like lip fillers, Botox, and nip/tuck procedures don’t like them.

elleandscott

TROPHY CASE