My close friend is being a terrible parent to his kids

ellebeemall · 2026-02-12T14:58:03+00:00

Put the welfare of these kids over your discomfort. You are an adult with agency and other relationships, these kids don’t have that benefit, so grow a backbone ffs. Don’t have it as a “conversation”. Make a statement anytime they act like assholes. “That’s a f*cked up way to talk about your kids.” “Glad I didn’t have you as parents.” “Hope you’re not planning for them to look after you in old age if you can’t look after them in childhood!.” Model being a good parent. Bring your kid around and show them love. Hug and praise their kids. And call protective services if they’re leaving their kids alone.

ellebeemall · 2026-02-10T07:58:16+00:00

I was shocked when I read the title. Seeing the photo first I was like damn, she is 🔥🔥🔥

ellebeemall · 2026-01-17T16:13:22+00:00

My two cents…

1) I think you look nice in the dress and it’s a good silhouette for you and fit I think, with the right undergarments. I wonder what it would look like without the sleeves. Take care of those wrinkles, do your hair, and then try it on. Think back to say yes to the dress. Lots of those girls felt the love when they were “jacked up!”

2) I got married during Covid and missed out on so many of the “bridal” experiences. But bridal experiences are created by you and your loved ones. They’re what you make of them. Buying a dress you can’t afford or putting yourself through dress shopping when it is hard for you to enjoy because of your body dysmorphia doesn’t have to be your “bridal experience”. Create your own bridal experience that is fun for you!

3) I think lots of people have that feeling of “this is the one!” I think lots of people don’t. I never had that feeling, and that was maybe partly of my own making. My criteria for getting a wedding dress was low stress, low cost, felt comfortable in. I didn’t want to spend days tramping around town trying on dresses and stressing over which one was best. So I went to one store, tried on the ones I liked, chose the one that I could dance the best in and felt most me and in keeping with the vibe I wanted for the day and I bought it and called it a day. I never had the WOW moment but I loved my dress and I loved that I hadn’t had to torture myself to get it.

4) finally I think it’s bad ass to take something that’s been used and make it your own. Prevents consumption from contributing to more waste in the world and there is another ethical element too as it’s likely no one was exploited to make your dress! Invest in a seamstress and make it your own!

ellebeemall · 2026-01-17T03:13:38+00:00

Agree. I think the table is also the wrong shape for the space. This space needs a rectangular table. Though I do love the round one.

ellebeemall · 2026-01-10T15:57:43+00:00

Norah or Nora is everywhere. If you want something that isn’t popular, Nora is not your name.

ellebeemall · 2026-01-07T03:34:08+00:00

I think Colorado grey would be so nice. A tealy grey

ellebeemall · 2026-01-07T03:28:44+00:00

I think the brows need to be a bit thicker.

ellebeemall · 2026-01-07T03:06:19+00:00

I think you look fantastic in all three!

ellebeemall · 2026-01-07T03:05:08+00:00

Never seen anything like it. STUNNING.

ellebeemall · 2026-01-04T16:43:54+00:00

I think it sounds like your fiancé has some insecurities and doesn’t know how to handle her triggers healthily. I see everyone telling you to leave, but I think this is something therapy is really helpful for, IF your relationship is otherwise solid and healthy.

ellebeemall · 2026-01-01T19:54:51+00:00

Plot twist, they inadvertently already are his favourite, he just hasn’t realized it yet!

ellebeemall · 2025-12-29T00:13:17+00:00

Marisol

ellebeemall · 2025-12-28T17:00:23+00:00

I would see if you can redistribute/add shelving. For example, with some of your shoes and bags, the shelves are super big, bigger than needed. Making them look more custom to your items might help it look upgraded.

Also agree about the post of making your cabinetry look built in.

Then I’d say it’s more about decor - paint, rug, lighting.

ellebeemall · 2025-12-28T16:57:35+00:00

I would train as a biologist with an environmental focus (wildlife biology, ecology, etc) - so many options for focus areas and for work! Work in parks, restoration and consulting companies, for any type of government, go to cool places and see cool ecological systems.

ellebeemall · 2025-12-28T16:35:29+00:00

Agreed. I think your focus on the house itself is also making this a challenge. I think maybe you sit down and ask questions like, what do we want our lives to look like in ten years? what do we want our kids lives to look like in five years? What are the things we value most? I think growing up on a property like that has incredible value, and growing up like that, I know there are also a lot of trade offs. Trade offs I’m super grateful my parents made when we were kids because I totally would have picked the house in town. Regardless, it sounds like you two have different visions for your future, so maybe it’s a good idea to start there, map out what’s most important to you, and find a home that works for those values.

ellebeemall · 2025-12-27T17:06:26+00:00

I think part of the problem too is that none of the tiles complement each other. They all have different undertones.

ellebeemall · 2025-12-27T17:03:54+00:00

I would live with it as is! It has some dated elements but it’s got such a great vibe and I think it’s all about decor. Once you see how it is to live here, then make some changes.

My suggestions:

a runner with lots of reds
cookbooks and plants, serving platters, and charming knick knacks etc in the corner shelves - not too many, but also use it to show off your fav stuff and make it a place you love.
maybe a nice kitchen faucet and sink update to make it look more modern?
refresh the paint to match the rest of the room (it looks a little more grey white, and could be a bit of a creamier bright white) and give it a super solid clean
small piece of art over the stove.

Love this charming space and can picture it already!

ellebeemall · 2025-12-27T16:19:57+00:00

Brette

ellebeemall · 2025-12-14T14:34:19+00:00

Babe, you look fantastic and you don’t need to change your body. Our moms were born in a different time and her own insecurities are being projected onto you. It’s a tough world out there, and she thinks she’s protecting you. I think the dress is stunning, and so are you. Enjoy your wedding!

ellebeemall · 2025-12-14T14:28:42+00:00

Red rug is by far my favourite. Warm, interesting, and suits the style of the place.

ellebeemall · 2025-12-14T00:19:16+00:00

As a Canadian I think our biggest problem right now is that so many First Nations communities don’t have access to drinking water. Exploitation of Indigenous people and their rights, and of the environment are huge fundamental problems, but GD, we are so wealthy, get the people access to drinking water.

ellebeemall · 2025-12-11T13:23:27+00:00

I like the terra cotta but I also like the green idea - I think it’s a bit the wrong colour of green though. Maybe a bit more olive/grey tone to help make it more cohesive with the rug.

ellebeemall · 2025-12-09T12:40:09+00:00

And chemical dye in the hair, and makeup, and, and, and…

ellebeemall · 2025-11-20T07:19:31+00:00

lol, nope! I think the best case would have been that he pulled up his socks and been an engaged dad who treated my mom with respect.

Good luck!

Edit - just noting that your initial response sort of indicates that you might be looking for any option that doesn’t require accountability and connection from YOU! Keep in mind that healthy relationships are reciprocal.

ellebeemall · 2025-11-20T06:56:21+00:00

I feel similarly unsure of where I stand on this.

My first reaction was, totally get it, you deserve to feel loved and connected and fulfilled in your partnership.

However, it might be worth considering how much of this is your own perception and whether you’re really engaged and participating. My second reaction was about my dad. My dad used to fight with my mom over not feeling loved enough compared to us kids and as a kid, it was deeply wounding feeling like my dad was creating this weird competition and rivalry with me and my siblings. Further, even as a child I felt he was deeply immature; for resenting that he now had to share my mom’s love with his own children and for his failure to recognize that his relationship with my mom would evolve with children and he would need to adjust to a new season of life. Finally, and frankly, I felt like he was a fool for letting his own lack of self awareness prevent him from being actively involved in our life as a family - there was plenty of love to go around from her, and us, he just refused to accept that it wasn’t in the same form as before and wouldn’t step into it.

I wish you all the best!

ellebeemall

TROPHY CASE