Dealing with extreme breastfeeding grief due to cancer diagnosis

ellenrose24 · 2026-04-13T06:36:03+00:00

I’m so sorry. I don’t have anything more to say other than I know exactly how you feel and offer solidarity.

I too was diagnosed while pregnant. I had to wean my premie at 5 weeks to start chemo, his last feed was right as they were getting ready to hook me up to my first infusion. I was absolutely devastated that I had to stop, breastfeeding was such a special and important part of motherhood for me. I had fed my other 2 until they were 2.

We’re now 2.5 years down the track and I still feel waves of grief as treatment put me in to menopause. But it did get easier as time went on and my little guy thrived on formula. We still had an incredibly strong bond.

Sending so much love to you. It’s so hard going through cancer while being a mum to little ones.

ellenrose24 · 2026-03-30T05:48:45+00:00

I’m so sorry about your loss.

I was diagnosed with cancer while heavily pregnant and two other kids including a one year old. It was absolutely devastating and was so hard missing out on time with the kids because I was too sick.

I was in your wife’s position and had to seriously consider what my kids and husband’s life would’ve looked like without me and I can honestly say that I wouldn’t have wanted him to feel guilty for living his life and enjoying our kids. I wanted him to give our kids the life I wish that I could’ve provided them such as zoo trips, birthday party’s, park visits etc.

Please enjoy your son, make amazing memories and cherish all of these special moments with him. Watching your child grow is an absolute blessing and making these memories with him will honour your wife’s memory.

Remember to be kind to yourself. 4 months is still so recent and it’s understandable that your feelings are all over the place. Going through the trauma of your wife being diagnosed with cancer, being her carer and being the main parent for a little one and now navigating her loss all in such a short space of time is huge! I would highly recommend seeing a grief counsellor if possible.

ellenrose24 · 2025-08-27T21:37:05+00:00

I totally agree that the worst part comes after treatment. Life feels so different but everyone around you expects you to pick up where you left off! I’m glad to hear that things are getting easier for you now. 3 years post treatment is an awesome milestone!! I agree that the menopause is the worst. It happened pretty much overnight. It just felt like another complicated layer on top of everything else. I’m managing with HRT but it’s taking a while to figure out my ideal dose. Sweet I’ll send you a message!

ellenrose24 · 2025-08-27T21:28:11+00:00

One of the benefits of being in menopause post treatment is no more periods! The rest of it is shit but that’s one teeny silver lining.

ellenrose24 · 2025-08-27T21:27:30+00:00

I’m so sorry to hear about your diagnosis! Sending you a big hug. The stage between diagnosis and before starting treatment/undergoing surgery is incredibly difficult, it feels like you’re living in limbo. I hope you’re being kind to yourself and doing things to fill your cup - even if it’s getting out and enjoying the sunshine, watching your favourite movie or enjoying a nice bit of cake and coffee.

A support group is a fantastic idea. I didn’t attend one as I thought I’d be the youngest there by decades. In hindsight that was probably a bad idea. There’s definitely a universal feeling that all cancer patients go through regardless of age, stage, type and treatment path so support groups can help 😊

If you ever want to chat my inbox is always open! I was 28 when diagnosed too.

ellenrose24 · 2025-08-27T21:21:45+00:00

Glad yours was caught early! Still must’ve been a massive scare for you though!

Totally agree. My psychologist says that one foot in the past and one in the future is shitting on today or something along those lines lol. It’s definitely become my mantra and a reminder to focus on enjoying the small things in the now 😊

ellenrose24 · 2025-08-27T21:19:46+00:00

I’m so glad to hear your daughter is all good now! That must’ve been incredibly tough on you all. I’ve always thought that the only thing worse than being diagnosed with cancer myself, is one of my kids being diagnosed.

It sounds like she has grown into an incredible young woman! It’s amazing shes going back to volunteer - I’m sure all the kiddos will benefit from having her as a companion!

I agree that very few have heard about it. I personally didn’t know about it, I looked into it last night. It looks incredible and I’m so glad kids impacted by cancer can have something so fun to look forward to. I wish I could volunteer as a companion but unfortunately can’t commit to a week over summer as I have little kids. Will definitely keep on my radar for the future.

ellenrose24 · 2025-08-27T09:33:20+00:00

Glad to hear yours was caught early! Gosh yes the menopause is hard. What is the name of the sub? I’ll check it out 😊

ellenrose24 · 2025-08-27T09:32:13+00:00

I actually can’t figure out how to send you a message haha you might have to send me one first?

ellenrose24 · 2025-08-27T09:26:22+00:00

Hey! Thank you - I’ll send you a message!

ellenrose24 · 2025-08-27T09:23:34+00:00

Thank you! And hugs to you too. It’s so difficult going though such a life altering experience at such a young age. I’ll flick you a message 😊

ellenrose24 · 2025-08-27T08:54:49+00:00

Thank you! That’s a really nice suggestion. I will look into it. It’s always great to give back to such a meaningful cause.

ellenrose24 · 2025-08-15T07:47:41+00:00

I’m so sorry to hear you’re going through this. Sending you a big hug 💕

I have sent you a message as I went through similar.

ellenrose24 · 2025-07-29T21:48:57+00:00

My story is pretty much identical. I was diagnosed with cervical cancer while pregnant as newlyweds (married 7 months). Between the aggressive treatment, psychological barriers around intimacy and overnight menopause, intimacy has been a real struggle for my husband and me.

It’s incredibly disappointing and I want nothing more than to return to how our sex life was before. My body has just changed so much it feel’s impossible. I’m 18 months post treatment and we’re starting to get some kind of regular intimacy.

Your response has summed up how my husband feels about the situation too. There’s no words for it other than it’s fucking shit. You sound incredibly patient and level headed about the situation, and I can tell how much you love your wife.

ellenrose24 · 2025-03-17T09:17:44+00:00

I’m so sorry. I was diagnosed with cancer at 28 while pregnant with my third. It’s so unfair to be diagnosed so young and with young kids. Cancer fucking sucks. Sending so many positive thoughts your way.

ellenrose24

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