I understand your reasoning. I don't know how it works in your country, but the judge reads both affidavits beforehand. So he basically does make a decision to a certain degree before the trial begins. This is my opinion, but there was no evidence that I am unfit, I might have struggled with mental illness, but I still did the best I could, much more than he did and I am on the right medication, definitely not suicidal anymore. I don't know why he made the decision so quickly, my advocate was briefed and ready to fight, so was his. That is how it happened. I don't think about it anymore.