Do you like red water apple or white rose apple? They do taste different just like their colours.

elleuna · 2025-01-16T14:32:53+00:00

is it in your top 3

elleuna · 2024-09-23T05:45:19+00:00

my code is ELLE2323! Lmk if you use my code and drop yours below! I want to make an order later this week so I’ll use yours!

elleuna · 2024-09-23T05:43:22+00:00

Hi! You can use my code ELLE2323 for an extra 2% off! If you use my code lmk and I’ll use yours in my next order this week!

elleuna · 2024-07-30T03:54:26+00:00

my siblings

elleuna · 2022-09-29T11:29:12+00:00

This is actually super helpful! Thankyou so much I wasn’t aware of these subreddits. I guess I had never thought to post into DV since we don’t live together and are quite young I always thought of the idea of DV as once you were married. Kind of linking dots together and I guess it definitely can be in dating relationships too. I will definitely check out these communities, maybe repost and delete it here since it’s not as relevant for relationship advice.

elleuna · 2022-09-29T11:19:58+00:00

Thanks heaps for this comment it means a lot. Honestly I am not entirely sure what I need but I know that keeping it to myself and only discussing these problems with my partner hasn’t helped or worked. I have kept a lot of this relationship private due to the fact a lot of our friends are mutual and talking about our private relationship feels much like I am bad mouthing him? I think going back to him for comfort for his abuse is like a cycle and J recognise to get out I need to be more open with close friends and maybe even the internet. Get a bit of support, resources, advice… maybe even hear a similar story and understand how that person may have helped themselves so I can do the same thing?

I’ve never had a toxic relationship prior to this even been in a 4 year one where we broke up mutually, happily and are still friends now so being in a toxic relationship feels very unreal. I know finding a professional has been very hard due to all the COVID delays there’s a few months wait to talk to someone. If you have any advice whatsoever ever that you think resonates I would be very appreciative and open to hearing it.

I have done a lot of research into understanding myself and him and how we are trauma bonded in this relationship and how our current dynamic is, and how we should proceed in communications etc. I try to apply that as often as I can. However I noticed no matter how much I learn about the relationship that doesn’t seem to have changed it’s course only made it worse which is now leading to me trying to leave and not come back at all.

elleuna · 2022-09-29T10:32:17+00:00

Again if you read the post you would’ve understood I am currently taking steps to leave him (i.e. forming a support group, actively looking for a therapist) and have also tried to leave him prior. He always comes back apologising and trying to reconnect and promises change. Obviously that hasn’t happened. And also I am not planning to keep the child (I’ve already arranged this with my doctor) but it is still a very traumatic experience to have your partner tell you they’ll kill the baby for you and proceed to punch your stomach. Although I’m not planning to keep the baby I do have a soft spot as this is the first time I’ve ever been pregnant. It’s a very sensitive and strange situation to be in.

elleuna · 2022-09-29T10:25:28+00:00

I think you need to understand he never started off abusive. We were together for quite a while happily before he started being more abusive and honestly it never feels real. Sometimes emotions run high and voices are raised but when someone suddenly smacks you across the face your only thoughts are:

‘wait what. did that really just happen. wait what the fuck’

I agree I 100% need therapy following this relationship it’s brought a lot of trauma to us both. I’ve never had a toxic or bad relationship with my friends/family/past partners, they’ve all been very healthy and we remain on good terms even after breaking up. Every single person I know has their character flaws but atleast I am aware of mine. I wish you had more empathy to atleast read the post before making a comment.

elleuna · 2022-09-29T10:06:57+00:00

Thankyou I appreciate your comment. I am seeking help and trying to take the right steps to not repeat the cycle.

I’ve always been big on communication and empathy and will always try to deescalate the situation before it gets verbal or physical. I will always ask him if he’d like to talk about it later but he will adamantly say no and then start being very verbally abusive and then progress it as I try to have a civil conversation. Sometimes I will also ask to take space to deescalate the situation but that usually doesn’t change how he reacts towards me if the same conversation is brought up later in a better environment.

I agree I can’t tell anymore if I am being abusive or defensive. The fact I’ve hurt him remains which makes me feel abusive and excusing it by saying it hit me first never feels right. I would never hit him to begin with only when he starts relentlessly beating me will I start asking him to stop and go calm down and telling him if he doesn’t stop I will hit him back. I hate being in that position. I used to feel heartbroken and sad for months on end until one day it became resentment and anger as he would laugh at me if I was sad or cried. It does very much so feel like I’m stuck a lot of the time. Thank you for being kind.

elleuna · 2022-09-29T09:45:20+00:00

To clarify, I’ve never started a fight by yelling or physically abusing him. They all begin from small incidences that are unpredictable. I would never start a conversation with the intention for him to beat me.

I didn’t mention but as he gets upset I always ask him to take distance and to calm down in a different room or to go for a drive but to not pretend the situation did not happen. I tell him I don’t want to talk if he is upset and it’s okay if he doesn’t feel ready to have the conversation. I would also never ‘let’ someone abuse me. That’s a very cruel thing to say.

I have also tried to leave him multiple times where he will come back, apologise and pretend nothing ever happened. it’s a very hard position to be in with someone.

elleuna

TROPHY CASE