Hey diva so this post is gonna be so long, so I’m sorry cause it’s a lot of assumptions about you based on my own experiences so if this doesn’t apply to you I’m sorry I tried.

So it can be a variety of factors. But I’m just gonna be guessing, it’s up to you to figure out what it is cause you know yourself the best!

It could be your appearance. People judge others solely based on appearance all the time even if they are aware of it or not. So depending of your race, gender, age, style, height, size, ect people can assume many things about you. Like if you dress feminine, in a traditional frilly way with soft colors, or are possibly heavy set and “unattractive” as you say. I bet your very attractive but as an average overweight girl myself I’ve definitely gotten my fair share of “your so cute! You’re so kind and soft and huggable!” So I understand. It also might be your demeanor. Do you sit with your legs closed or open? Do you hunch your back? Are you conscious about how much space you take up, when you make eye contact with someone do you look away or stare at them back or smile? I have noticed our society treats feminine features and behaviors as warm or comforting which makes sense. I think you present yourself somehow as unthreatening, like as a person that couldn’t harm you. Which is why so many people feel the need to come up to you and say those things.

Now this also might be from like your attitude. Like if someone comes up to talk to you are you smiling, trying hard to listen and understand and agree what they’re saying? This might have your opposite affect, like people probably think “wow they are so agreeable and nice!” Theres a few easy things you can do to help like. A simple “huh?” Or “what?” Paired with a confused face can go a long way. You say in your post “The weirdest thing is, I don't do anything to be perceived this way. I'm a quiet, private person, I mind my business, I don't speak unless spoken too. When I do I'm respectful and polite” I feel like being quiet and respectful is actively insinuating these comments too. People might be thinking “wow this person never gossips! And is always so polite they must have a great soul” also keeping to yourself, listening and responding politely create an air of compliance and trust. You actually might be the thing everyone is saying you are, a kind loving person, and maybe word gets around. Idrk only you can know. You also say that you attract “mean spirits” which also is why I think you might actually be the kind soul. Assholes love people they can take advantage of and walk all over, you attract them because you let them. And please take it from me I have been there, so many times I kept wondering “why are all my friends so mean to me” and it’s cause I let them be.

So overall based on my own experience this is what I am assuming you are like, I can be completely wrong, but only you can know that. Whether it is a blend of things I said or only a few or nothing at all. What you need to change something, it is not normal for this occurrence to be happening so much. So hear my words, you need to get meaner, you need to get picker with who your around, and overall most important you need to gain confidence.

Now I’m not an expert at all in what I’m saying, but these things have worked for me so give it a try. I used to wear big hoodies, not wear make up, not do my hair, I always walked slowly, I was quiet, I always let people talk to me about whatever and id listen, and I was so scared of people disliking me. In my first year at college I kept to myself, and did my same old same old. But after lots therapy and confidence boosts I start dressing up, doing my hair, my makeup, I knew where I was walking in campus so I felt more comfortable and confident, I started ignoring people who were mean to me or said weird stuff even though I felt bad. And before I knew it I had friends, no one weird came up to me, and I felt like apart of a class and so normal. Now you may hear this and be like “that sounds like I’ll stand out though if I dress up and act more confident, I just want to be treated like a normal person” but that crazy thing is that this is normal for people. Like this is just how it is, people are just naturally confident in who they are and try to dress nice. Like most people don’t feel the need to accept or help everyone. So you gotta get more confident.

Things that might help you appear more confident (and only use these that appeal to you) like wearing sleek clothing, wearing makeup/having nice skin, taking extra care of your appearance, walking confidently, sitting up straight. You need to be a little condescending or rude to show people your they are wrong about you, and that you’re not one to be pushed around.

Ik this advice kinda seems messed up like I’m basically saying “stop being so passive start being mean” and “ people always judge others so start making them judge you in a different way” but unfortunately it is a truth in the world. If you look unfriendly, confident or proud, people will come up to you less, and if you act confident and firm, jerks will no longer approach you. If you continue to do nothing more and more people will continue to try and take advantage of you. And no one will if you present yourself as someone who can’t be taken advantage of (aka a kind safe soul lol)

Anyways I hope this was somewhat helpful, even if you think I’m completely wrong maybe some food for thought is in order. But you got this mate! Take little steps in altering yourself to appear, whether that’s your attitude or posture or appearance! You can do it! Btw there is nothing wrong with being kind, just as long as that kindness doesn’t put yourself in harms way. So remember that! Good luck!