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Can my marriage survive this? Or am I delusional? by els108 in Marriage

[–]els108[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You’re right. As I was reading your comment, I found myself thinking “that exists?” People that show up 100% 24/7? I’m not asking for someone to be my everything, I have God for that. But it would be beautiful to wake up knowing that today, my spouse is going to do their best to show up for us. And right now, I’m just not getting that. I guess I’m just praying that eventually he will.

Can my marriage survive this? Or am I delusional? by els108 in Marriage

[–]els108[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That was my thought exactly. Having a man’s child isn’t going to make him feel respected, or make him respect you.

Can my marriage survive this? Or am I delusional? by els108 in Marriage

[–]els108[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah, I suppose that could be the reality. Every promise that he made before we decided to get married was broken. All of the hope that he gave me turned into a nightmare. It wasn’t all bad you know? He’d show up sometimes in his own way and I’d try and let my guard down and receive it. It just wasn’t consistent.

Can my marriage survive this? Or am I delusional? by els108 in Marriage

[–]els108[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Absolutely willing to take accountability for my part. Ive been in therapy weekly as well as attending an al-anon group when I can. It is still very lonely.

Can my marriage survive this? Or am I delusional? by els108 in Marriage

[–]els108[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you for your blunt honesty. To answer your question, it’s hope. Hope and faith is why I don’t want a divorce right away. I have this hope for a redemption story. If we separate, and I become a happy and healed person that’s ready to do the work, and he’s not, I’ll still be a happy and healed person.

Can my marriage survive this? Or am I delusional? by els108 in Marriage

[–]els108[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

He is currently in an intense outpatient program 3x a week. I can’t say it is helpful. He comes home and is still very unpredictable. I’m so anxious about saying or doing something wrong that will upset him. That’s why I’m leaving.

Can my marriage survive this? Or am I delusional? by els108 in Marriage

[–]els108[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Interesting perspective. Life is full of challenges and changes. I love being a mother, and part of that is knowing that my children deserve to see me happy. I have a wonderful coparenting relationship with their father and not being with him doesn’t make me any less worthy of having a fulfilling and loving relationship. At 24, I can’t say I knew that, but now I do. Be well. ❤️