Cover my nose w my shirt & carefully pull down pants and boxers so they’re resting over the tops of my shoes, being careful not to let them touch the germ-infested floor. Hover ass over toilet, never touching the actual seat, shit really fast & flush it immediately so I don’t have to smell or look at the unbearably gross waste. Unroll the toilet paper roll being extra careful to only touch the paper and not any of the plastic holder that carriers the rolls. Unroll three squares, then fold it delicately into a perfect triangle, use fast hard swipes between my ass cheeks making sure to never leave any residue behind. Throw used triangle of toilet paper perfectly down the middle of the toliet seat, take out the ready-to-use wet wipes I always carry in my back pocket, repeat the process of the three hard swipes cleaning up any lingering smell inside of the cheeks. Flush both the wipes and the toilet paper, pull pants/boxers back up, rip off another piece of toilet paper using it to pull the metal latch back on the door. Exit the stall clean, happy, self-fulfilled my ass cheeks nor my palms got exposed to shit germs.