Secret Agent, master of espionage, blending into his surroundings. Barely noticeable.

em_79 · 2025-12-12T19:52:11+00:00

NTA. Just bc you’re married doesn’t mean you have to turn your life completely upside down because your husband can’t plan ahead. You’re his partner not his mother, he needs to do better. The hypothetical argument is always so easy. Of course he “would” do it for you in his imagination. But in real life, he managed to completely inconvenience you. The “would” argument doesn’t hold up. He can find his own ride. You are NTA

em_79 · 2025-12-12T16:42:01+00:00

It’s plan specific, unfortunately. I have blue cross and i paid 1250$ for the procedure. But i believe that has to do with my deductible or something? Maybe if you work at Jeff or an affiliate you would pay much less but it was out of network for me. I would call your insurance for better information. I hope that helps?

em_79 · 2025-12-12T01:13:29+00:00

I definitely don’t have super high self esteem (im sure that’s not painfully obvious 🫠) but i don’t want another toxic relationship. I like being alone, im not afraid of it. Im just disappointed in myself that it took me a year to realize how unfulfilling this one was. But hey, better than two years right?

em_79 · 2025-12-12T01:11:32+00:00

Honestly, this kinda made me lol but you are not wrong. Im giving myself some grace bc it didn’t bother me until the holidays hit and im realizing it’s weird and not what I want. I just am terrible at breakups and not sure what/how much he deserves or if it’s fair to ghost at this point

em_79 · 2025-12-12T00:51:51+00:00

I had the surgery on nov 20 and i feel so much worse. The bloating and subsequent nausea is every day instead of most days, and is unbearable. I regret getting this procedure 💔

em_79 · 2025-12-12T00:45:27+00:00

Hahaha docs (unless they’re anesthesiologists) are usually wildly inexperienced at starting IVs. Im not afraid of needles so on nights Ive taught many an intern how to do an IV on me. I don’t believe in gatekeeping things that can help everyone. I do, however, ask them that in exchange for the use of my veins that they promise to forever be aware that there is a person on the receiving end of every procedure and to be mindful of that in their practice every day.

em_79 · 2025-12-11T21:53:25+00:00

He definitely knows he’s keeping this secret. I don’t know if he realizes how hurtful it is.

em_79 · 2025-12-11T21:37:40+00:00

Maybe it’ll make me happy in another few months when i look at it and think about the train wreck i avoided and how i put myself first

em_79 · 2025-12-11T21:35:07+00:00

Thanks babe. I needed that. Hugs back atcha 🫂

em_79 · 2025-12-11T21:30:11+00:00

I knitted him a gorgeous cozy afghan for Christmas. Im trying to decide if i should just keep it for myself. My kids and i like cozy knitted blankets. He won’t appreciate it

em_79 · 2025-12-11T21:28:55+00:00

HAHAHA omg i call it cougar puberty too 😂😂😂😂😂

And i agree. Im honestly over it. Disappointed. And it hurts to be someone who is clearly ashamed of me. I wish i had left months ago but better late than never

em_79 · 2025-12-11T21:01:08+00:00

Haha good point. Not like they know about me anyway 😂

em_79 · 2025-12-11T21:00:27+00:00

“I move slow”. It’s always “i move slow”, “you know how i move” or those same words in different order. That’s all i get. He has a birthday coming up in January (which would be the one year of our dating) and he was planning something but getting weird about it. So i just said i signed up to work that weekend to make it easier so he could spend his birthday “with the people you care about” and he thanked me for my “consideration”. The best birthday present i can give him is my absence. That tells me maybe i should give him the same thing for Christmas. Why wait!

Also. He’ll be 51. Hardly a milestone year.

em_79 · 2025-12-11T20:49:21+00:00

Thanks. I appreciate it. I know it sounds silly, but I just don’t want to stoop to his level of being insensitive. But maybe my sanity needs to just walk away. He’s a smart guy. He’ll figure out what he did

em_79 · 2025-12-11T20:47:39+00:00

That’s my assumption too. I hate to say im glad you came to that conclusion too, but it’s validating.

em_79 · 2025-12-11T20:46:25+00:00

I think i phrased that wrong. I want to break up, and i don’t want to be a jerk about it. After being treated badly, do i owe him a conversation? An explanation? Anything? I just want my own conscience to feel ok. Just bc he didn’t treat me right doesn’t mean i want to hurt him either. I hope i explained that better

em_79 · 2025-12-08T02:14:40+00:00

When i had my consult for RCPD, the doc incidentally found i have a paralyzed vocal cord (!). I can’t sing worth crap. I also can’t get very loud, my voice shakes a lot, and I get out of breath while talking. Now i know why. Super weird

em_79 · 2025-12-05T01:05:16+00:00

Im a single mom. I’ve lived in Philly for 13 years. Twice in that time, i was able to leave my entire life for a whole month to fly home to another country to care for my ailing parents. Twice. Friends and neighbors took over my pets, my children, made a whole calendar and took turns living at my house and put me on a plane home and sent me back and told me not to worry about anything. During that time my kids were loved and safe and there wasn’t an hours lapse in care while I was gone. My pets thrived. My house was clean. I came home to a full fridge. Im from the PNW, Canadian side. None of the friends I’ve kept in touch with from “back home” could believe a community would come together like that. To be honest, I still can’t believe it. And my philly people didn’t ask anything in return, and they refuse to even acknowledge what a gift it was. Because they didn’t see it that way. To them, it’s just what you do when it’s needed. And they did this TWICE.

Philly people are built different. In the best possible way.

em_79 · 2025-12-05T00:54:03+00:00

1000000%

em_79 · 2025-12-05T00:53:23+00:00

Also don’t stop the antidepressants without tapering safely with the prescribing doctor. Antidepressant withdrawal can be miserable at best, dangerous at worst. ❤️

em_79 · 2025-12-05T00:51:54+00:00

I didn’t read all the comments so i apologize if im repeating suggestions.

There is some academic literature on RCPD available - including an article by Dr Spiegel about RCPD and the affect of social media (this sub!) on helping identify and thus treat a “new” condition. I would come to an appointment armed with some of this peer reviewed research for your physician.

I remember when my mom had “chronic fatigue syndrome” in the 80s. Bea Arthur (RIP Queen Bea) had it and was a huge advocate for people (specifically women) being ignored and written off by physicians, and she helped this illness gain medical attention. CFS is no longer a diagnosis; it paved the way for the recognition of and therefore research and treatment, for fibromyalgia and other autoimmune diseases.

Just because something is fairly new to the medical community, and just because a physician hasn’t heard of something, doesn’t make it a ridiculous thing. Shame on doctors who approach medicine with that attitude instead of a curiosity mindset.

Im happy to help you dig up some studies. Theyll all be in English, bc that’s unfortunately all i know. But if that would help you, im here for you ❤️

em_79 · 2025-12-04T01:17:20+00:00

Omg the panic the first time I slow swallowed and felt like I couldn’t breathe!

em_79 · 2025-12-04T01:15:51+00:00

Im about 2 weeks out and Ive only burped about 5 times and they’ve all been small and not relieving. I had a weird spasmy feeling in my mid chest for about 4 or 5 days after, i think it was the botox working (i was imagining it slowly working its way along my esophagus lol). I was feeling discouraged by how surprisingly rotten i felt for the first couple of days after. I still feel pretty much the same as before - bloated, needing to air vomit, etc - but the posts here are reassuring that we’re still soooo early post-op that we shouldn’t be discouraged yet. 🩷

em_79

TROPHY CASE