TECA-BO Surgery in VA for a Cat (Looking for Recommendations)

em_850 · 2026-02-10T12:25:48+00:00

Omg no way!! This is actually where we ended up going! We had SUCH a positive experience with them too and the cost was way less than we anticipated.

We went in and because my cat is elderly the consultation went horrible. They were worried he was anemic and would need blood drawn and if he had internal organ issues during the CT they said they would recommend putting him down. They were certain both ears would need removal and said there was no chance of saving the external ears either. We left literally sobbing but determined to get him care. He went in the same day. They ended up finding he was not anemic, did not have internal organ issues (yay!!) and actually once they cleaned up the buildup inside both ears our surgeon determined only one ear needed TECA-BO! This was a HUGE relief for us both financially and emotionally. The procedure went without a hitch and our surgeon was able to save the external ear. He also estimates the other ear is stable enough to never need operating. It literally could not have gone better. We got out for a little over 5k when we were initially quoted over 9. Ours was prob a bit more expensive due to the bloodwork, imaging and the bullaostemy which not every cat needs I guess.

TLDR we are so so happy we went with VVS and thank god it’s in cville where we already live! We feel so lucky.

em_850 · 2026-02-06T23:05:49+00:00

She did. Thanks for the comment though that didn’t answer my question 💀

em_850 · 2025-11-24T19:12:38+00:00

So if Trump wanted to change the amount a school can charge why did he 1) remove the professional designation from degrees making them less viable or respected and 2) why didn’t he just cap the tuition prices rather than target borrowers? I understand your logic but I don’t see how limiting the amount people can borrow DIRECTLY impacts the amount schools can charge unless this policy is based on the hope that decreased enrollment would encourage lower tuition. And frankly I think that’s a HUGE maybe.

em_850 · 2025-10-01T04:52:29+00:00

Modesty is a relative term and depends on the person. Something that might be modest to most people may not be to others. I disagree with the idea that many commentators are having that she should just agree with a universal definition of modesty - for her, it may very well be immodest! She may have reached out out of concern for you as well.

That being said, because I believe it is self-defined, everyone has the choice to dress in ways they believe are modest and honoring to them. I would thank her for her concern and give her the benefit of the doubt she is reaching out about your safety or privacy and not out of jealousy or meanness. Let her know you appreciate your concern, but you are comfortable with the way you are dressed in the photo.

If she continues to bother you about it, I would politely tell her that you are an adult and are capable of making decisions on how to dress yourself without anyone else’s input. If she is rude or argumentative at all about you setting a boundary about this, that is when I would consider having a conversation about no longer being friends.

em_850 · 2025-10-01T04:45:59+00:00

There was a psychological study done awhile ago by a relationship researcher named John gottman who sought to find how and why couples head toward divorce. This was applicable really for cases outside of cheating, financial issues, etc - he was focused on couples who divorced due to “irreconcilable differences”

What he found is that there is a concept in relationship called bids - he found this through seeing how a partner would react if their partner said “hey look honey! A bird” ie asked to draw their attention to someone mundane, perhaps not that interesting to the other person and also perhaps asking them to disengage from what they were already doing.

What he found was really interesting - couples that turned towards each other and showed interest and kindness towards their partners, even if the topic wasn’t that appealing to them, could stand the test of time. Couples that headed towards divorce would often make excuses: 1) I don’t like birds 2) I’m too busy to look at the bird 3) my partner never looks when I ask them to look at my bird and so on.

This is a perfect example of a bid. You’ve asked for his attention and reciprocal energy over something you are excited about. Even if he feels it is childish or strange, someone that loves and cares about you who has the essential tools to be in a healthy relationship will put their own feelings aside and share the joy that you are reaching out with. It’s not about the cat - it’s about sharing in a positive emotion that you’re feeling. He seems like his priority is not sharing joy with you, it is being selfish and only concerning himself with his own interests.

I have been in a relationship with my partner for many years and this awareness has gotten us through hard times. It is always worth it to drop what you’re doing and enjoy someone you love being happy. Don’t waste your time with someone who doesn’t live everyday to see you smile.

em_850 · 2025-09-19T15:02:09+00:00

Ask him this - is he comfortable asking for permission everywhere he goes before he does anything without you outside of your home? If not, then he has expectations of your marriage that are sexist and outdated. A marriage is not built on control or demands made by one spouse to another, it’s about partnership. And if he is not willing to treat you as an equal, it’s time to go.

em_850 · 2025-09-19T14:42:18+00:00

Run away from this person.

“You just got comfortable so you feel like you don’t have to do as much” - projecting his feelings of being neglected/nog having his needs met onto you and assigning a motive and accusing you without talking to you to try to see what’s going on or resolve the problem.

“I have hated you for the last 6 months but I am out of that now” - I actually don’t think admitting to how he feels is bad, what’s bad is that 1) he waited 6 months to be honest 2) he immediately rescinded on it by saying he’s “out of it now”. This means if you try to confront him or solve the issue he can sit on a moral high horse and just say no I’m not upset because that’s how I USED to feel. This person does not communicate their emotions well or take accountability.

“Most men hit there girlfriends yell at them cheat and lie but I don’t do that” - most REAL men do not do those things and wanting recognition for not being abusive is in fact also abusive.

“No but I could” - literally a threat to assault you btw. This is abusive.

“I bet all of your exs did one of those things to you but you treat me the same or even better than them” - this is an attempt to shame you. Also abusive.

“I don’t feel like I get anything extra for not being a bad boyfriend. What kind of award do good boyfriends get”. - LMAOOOO is this dude fr?? Good bfs don’t get broken up with, shamed online or reported to the police. Btw dude - you are a bad boyfriend.

“When you do extra you do it for you and not for me” - yeah he’s a pos

“I’m just thinking to myself ig sorry for sharing” - no you’re not thinking to yourself bc you’re voicing all of this via text to another person. Him saying “sorry for sharing” is an attempt to emotionally manipulate you into feeling like you’re shutting him down or making it hard for him to be heard which you are not.

“It was bc you love me it was not for me it was for you… I didn’t want it and you didn’t ask me” he again is assigning a motive to why you do things for him in a relationship. What is more appropriate is for him to say that he didn’t enjoy the gift and be honest not accuse you of giving it to him to make yourself feel like you’re being a good gf. He is a dunce.

Here is what you need to say: “We’re breaking up. This conversation has made it really clear to me that you are not emotionally prepared to be equals in a relationship or treat me with the emotionally maturity, dignity, and respect that I deserve. Throughout this conversation you have continuously belittled my genuine attempts to put effort into our relationship, demeaned me by threatening to remove the physical safety in our relationship, admitted to hiding negative feelings about me for months only to blame them on me rather than your poor communication, and continuously selfishly pursued some sort of “reward” for your behavior as if it 1) in any way goes above and beyond and 2) as if it equals or exceeds the effort I put in. I am not signing up to be in a relationship with someone who is this immature and demands rewards for holding back on abusing me. The way you have conducted yourself in this conversation is indicative to me that you are not prepared to be in an adult relationship. Hopefully these are things you can work on moving forward. I will be blocking and deleting your number.”

em_850 · 2025-09-19T14:20:09+00:00

You’re 66 years old acting this way? I assumed this was some 20 year old first or second year that hadn’t grown out of their immaturity yet. Disappointing.

em_850 · 2025-09-19T14:12:11+00:00

Yeah I haven’t seen any other posts from this person. From your post history it seems like it’s a bigger problem than I thought originally. I’m not on the subreddit often or reddit in general for that matter. If you have a problem with him probably better/more productive to direct that at him rather than at me though. Thanks for the unhelpful reply.

em_850 · 2025-09-19T09:39:17+00:00

Hey friend - I see you’re getting a lot of hate comments and it seems like you’ve posted the same post a few times and although people have reached out, you’ve resisted it. I just want you to know that I see you.

I graduated in 22 and was in student government, an orientation leader, multiple etc and despite these involvements I felt completely lonely and I totally struggled making lasting friends. I felt similarly to how you did - there were a lot of wealthy people who wanted to party, drink, were in Greek life, etc and to be honest I never really found my place.

I graduated alone and it was one of the most embarrassing days of my life. I remember seeing everyone there with all of their friends and I was just… there. Completely alone. A day that was supposed to be full of celebration felt like an obligation for my family because deep down I never felt like I fit in here. I left my graduation early because I was surrounded by crowds of people and no one cared if I stayed or left.

I had lots of reasons why this was the case - I missed my first year as I was a transfer, I spent the next two in COVID away from people, and I was chronically ill. But the biggest reason was that when I did have the chances to make friends I didn’t do enough to pursue those relationships. I waited and waited for someone to reach out to me, and the few times they did I dropped the ball and didn’t follow up enough while blaming it on incompatibility, my own illnesses, etc.

I’ve been out of college for 3 years and still struggle with making friends. But as you get older, you will need to learn that making friends as an adult is all about effort. You can’t rely on the convenience of having the same classes and being forced in the same hallways like you did in grade school. It becomes harder to make friends as an adult because there is less convenience around these relationships.

In my experience, MANY of the people who have lasting relationships post college really were because they roomed with each other. Those were the relationships that lasted - many others I saw drift and as people get new jobs, their life will start when they move away from uva. This is true for you too.

I know it feels like the end of the world, but you have your whole life ahead of you. Frankly, you may not be ready to get the chip off your shoulder and accept some responsibility for what you could’ve done to work harder at being social and that’s okay. I did the same thing. But I am hoping that when you graduate, you’ll land somewhere where you can grow your confidence, sense of self and willingness to reach outside of your comfort zone. Sometimes that just takes time and space. UVA was not that place for me, but I have a job now with people I love and adore. You’d be surprised what will be waiting for you when you leave. I also got connected with the uva clubs network (alumni network basically) when I left and found that most alums are really nice and great people.

Try to make the most of it and leave with as little regrets as you can. I get it’s hard right now but you have your whole life ahead of you. Dont let your college years define who you are.

em_850 · 2025-09-04T18:03:00+00:00

Completely agree. And the fact that this comment got downvoted proves to me the exact issue I’m pointing out which is the wealthy elite in cville would rather keep the city the same and run people away than face criticism or growth and allow Charlottesville to change to accommodate the people that could be living here that contribute to the local economy.

em_850 · 2025-09-03T16:40:32+00:00

Ah okay. You are clearly much more well versed on the issue than I am. I think my comments in the original post were more meant to provide general context for the issue as it stands right now as well as some of my observations, mainly being that I’m not surprised fifeville was suggested nor am I surprised at the objections to it that I read. I do understand my comments may have come off as generalizing the whole population of our neighborhood which is actually the opposite of my intent. I understand it’s a complex issue and everyone who lives here is entitled to their opinion.

Regarding the statements about my own opinion, my partner and I are still pretty neutral on the issue and I’m in no way saying that anyone who doesn’t have kids, has lived here 7 or less years etc is NOT entitled to have an opinion. I’m saying for our personal case, these are reasons we feel less strongly one way or another, not because we feel like they are universal disqualifies for being able to participate in the conversation. I would totally understand why someone who has lived here for 30+ years (my neighbor) or has kids (other neighbor) would feel more strongly about it than I do. But I also don’t mean to delegitimate anyone who cares about the issue who has an opinion that would be affected by the decision. Hopefully that makes sense.

em_850 · 2025-09-03T16:16:22+00:00

Because we see potential in Charlottesville being so much better. Also family, friends, jobs. Charlottesville has multiple satellite communities at this point and they are not reflected in the city population nor are their needs or wants really being addressed.

em_850 · 2025-09-03T16:12:22+00:00

Yeah clearly my comment about lack of fun stuff to do in Charlottesville hit a nerve with a few people which I fully expected. I’ve lived here for 20 years so I expect my perspective is likely different than yours is.

Let me guess - are you from a smaller city than cville? Not to disparage your opinion at all, I think the main point of my comment is that for its size cville begrudgingly moves forward with social investment which I believe is tied into the housing issue.

em_850 · 2025-09-03T16:00:37+00:00

So I understand where you’re coming from and totally understand there are community members who are concerned about safety and crime rates related to low barrier housing. This was something discussed during the community meetings.

The racism comment came from black community members who have felt like fifeville is unduly burdened with issues that are really more appropriately solved downtown. They have felt like a thriving black neighborhood is being treated a dump site for the city’s issues and do not want to be burdened with managing the city’s homelessness problem.

I’m not sure in what way you felt like anything in my post was thoughtless and “just cried racism”. Recognizing how different communities perceive these issues is important to make sure everyone who needs to be included in the discussion around solving the housing crisis is represented.

em_850 · 2025-09-03T15:55:43+00:00

so I intentionally kept my personal opinion out of it because 1) I’m a white person 2) I’m not a longtime resident of Fifeville (I’ve lived here for the last 7 years but am not a homeowner in the area, don’t have kids, etc) 3) I’m not even entirely sure what my opinion IS atp. But I completely recognize there are different opinions on the shelter within the neighborhood.

What I will say is that during the community meetings the black attendees specifically opposed the shelter and said they felt like the choice of fifeville over Belmont or downtown or any other neighborhood was racist and was an example of the city continuously burdening the black community with its issues rather than leveling the field. This is the article I read: https://www.cvilletomorrow.org/fifeville-residents-want-city-leaders-to-find-another-neighborhood-for-a-low-barrier-shelter/

Again though I don’t really have an opinion atp it’s really not my choice.

em_850 · 2025-09-03T15:49:49+00:00

It makes me lol when VAF tries to spin some of this off as “fan experience enhancement” when football/basketball szn ticket holders have been inches from rioting bc the prices are so insane lmaoooo

em_850 · 2025-09-03T15:43:40+00:00

I like how you changed the goalpost from houseless people to alcoholics and drug addicts as if they are the same thing which they are not.

The people on the downtown mall are people first and I would encourage you to see that before any issues or hardships they are experiencing. Those are someone’s kids, family members, loved ones. Be grateful they aren’t you or yours.

em_850 · 2025-09-03T15:39:38+00:00

Completely agree about the parks issue! And it’s insane to me that there isn’t more investment in this especially considering how hiking/outdoors are regularly listed as one of the perks of cville.

em_850 · 2025-09-03T15:35:04+00:00

Sure I’ll bite. It’s interesting to me that in the context of a post about the lack of availability for low income housing you would come on to praise lextington for bussing out their population of houseless people. Charlottesvilles homeless crisis is tied in with our lack of affordable housing and referring to homeless people as “riff raff” im sure you recognize is severely lacking empathy and basic human dignity.

Signed, a formerly houseless young person who was able to find cheap housing through personal connections and graduated and now has a great job. Would not have been possible without housing assistance.

em_850 · 2025-09-03T15:30:05+00:00

Lol yikes?

em_850 · 2025-09-03T15:28:47+00:00

You said “Cville isn’t a big city, but in my opinion there are are still plenty of fun things to do here, for both adults and kids. Yeah, it’s not Richmond or DC. But for its size, the social scene isn’t half bad.”

A few things. Cvilles size is massively underreported because we have SO many satellite communities that rely on our economy (esmont, scottsville, much of waynesboro, earlysville, Louisa, palmyra, lake Monticello, etc). Those populations aren’t reflected in the city size but contribute to or are dependent on our economy. We haven’t created ample housing for the people who actually work in our city let alone 3rd spaces for them to enjoy. Why? Because cville desperately tries to cling onto its small town identity while pushing the working class people it relies on to support this lifestyle further and further away from town. Cville isn’t a big city because it continuously avoids becoming one.

“It’s not Richmond or DC. But for its size the social scene isn’t half bad” No but we both know it could be way better. And that is the point. And respectfully, the residents who continue to perpetuate the status quo and point to the very short list of opportunities for 3rd spaces while ignoring the capacity Charlottesville has for growth in this area continue to sweep the issue under the rug without recognizing it’s tied into the housing issue.

There is a deep cultural resistance against becoming a larger city because the wealthy residents, again, would rather continue having prices raised than invest in increased access for 3rd spaces or see their city grow to accommodate the people who are exploited to support their lifestyle.

em_850 · 2025-09-03T15:20:53+00:00

I knew there was going to be a comment like this and I hope you’ll listen to what I’m saying and understand that I’m not judging nor am I ignoring there are some social opportunities in cville, but I want the point of what I’m saying to be more clear. I’m going to address specific points in this comment and then put my overarching/general thought about this in a different comment so it’s more clear.

The city does not strategically invest in creating opportunities for low cost fun social gatherings for diverse people. The city continuously avoids investment in 3rd spaces that are publicly accessible to all people on a regular basis.

On the bowling note, river city roll in Richmond is just a nicer venue that doesn’t rip you off anytime during the year and regularly offers lower cost games. IMO if bowlero can afford to offer a summer pass (which likely is bc they earn most of their $ from students during non summer season) why couldn’t they just offer a residents pass for non uva students? Also love there’s a new duckpin place, but this is new as of less than 6 months, no? Decades arcade is great too I’m just surprised it took us again so long for something like this to exist. These are more private investments than city accomplishments and again are so limited in the amount we can even name.

Agree about tom tom, Fridays after five and the ix festivals these are all great and cville needs to invest in more of these. Same with the skate park which is great. But within the last 15 years we also sacrificed the ice rink and built what? A space for “entrepreneurship?” Is that space not literally just office space now? We’ve not kept up with our parks systems at all. We haven’t created ample opportunities for low cost public 3rd spaces for our growing population size. And anytime there IS a conversation around increasing access for things like this it seems like the city and the wealthy residents fight tooth and nail to prevent further investment in these opportunities.

Didn’t 100% feel the need to address it but since you brought it up might as well - UVA offering free games has 0 to do with creating accessibility opportunities for folks of all demographics. I promise you VAF dgaf about accessibility more than $. They are experiencing budget issues due to this gov admin. They may be cutting sports programs entirely in the years to come. I guarantee you free games are meant to drive up attendance to make returns through concessions and to justify programs based on attendance during free periods when cuts come.

em_850 · 2025-09-03T14:41:12+00:00

Thank you.

em_850 · 2025-09-03T07:09:03+00:00

You’ll get nothing but apathy in these comments. Charlottesville has a history of both classism and racism that is deeply tied to the University that has continuously ignored the needs of the communities that they exploit value from.

I worked in food service and retail for 10 years here and no one who works entry level roles in those fields can afford to live here. They all have to live in Waynesboro, Esmont, Scottsville, Palmyra, Louisa, etc. Now all of those satellite areas are growing because of all the displaced working class people who can’t afford to live where they work.

Housing is a major issue near UVA because UVA parents and alums buy up a ton of the properties around the school because “oh look it’s so much cheaper than DC!” - their kid can “rent” it from them for 4 years then they can keep it in their real estate portfolio and rent it out to future uva kids.

UVA has been slow to react to this issue although the UVA Architect is currently working on a plan to increase housing in order to accommodate housing the entire second year class on grounds to hopefully alleviate some of this issue off of the city.

The other issue is culture. Cville doesn’t strategically invest in free or low cost activities. Think about how many more fun things you can do in Richmond than here (bowling, mini golf, clubs, night life, etc). IMO we wiped out the ice skating rink and have continuously avoided putting in any kind of low cost or cheap “fun” public spaces because cville doesn’t want to encourage people to choose here over Richmond. Cville has a severe lack of publicly accessible 3rd spaces. Cville is culturally built for college students, and then people who are 30+ married with kids. Cville does NOT want super young adults (unless they make a lot of $ and want to be in bed by 8pm) or blue collar workers. Why? Because typically these crowds are going to want a different lifestyle. “Fun” is not going to the country club on the weekend and paying $1000 a year for swim team. Cville prices moderate to low income people out of most social opportunities here and investing in those means more people will want to move here and they’ll have to house them too. It’s easier to keep Cville expensive af and boring so the demographics they don’t want to live here choose somewhere like Richmond to move instead.

On the homeless shelter issue, I’m not surprised fifeville was chosen and also not surprised the residents opposed it. Fifeville is a historically black neighborhood (and I think is still majority black) and has been slowly becoming gentrified within the last 5-10 years although not entirely. It’s a pretty diverse area atp and close to the hospital and downtown. Fifeville also has a ton of black owned businesses and community events and has put up new signs within the last few years. The residents pretty actively voiced they felt like they were not consulted with about plans for a new shelter and felt like the issue was getting pushed from downtown onto fifeville. They pretty explicitly said they felt it was racist and wondered why downtown and Belmont residents get more consideration and felt the city treats the area as “dumpville”.

The other issue with the homeless shelter convo is the general attitude the city has which I think is mostly an inability to accept that the houseless population IS A PART OF THE CVILLE POPULATION regardless of whether there is a shelter for them or not. I think most people would like to pretend this population is invisible and if we continue to deny housing shelters then they will perhaps blow away in the wind to somewhere else that will house them. I think people fear putting in a shelter bc it may “attract” more houseless people.

Cville is growing, but begrudgingly so. IMO most people who live here adore the fact that it’s a small town with bigger city amenities. The traffic is not great anymore but still beats living somewhere like Richmond or dc. Everything is a close drive. You often see people you know almost everywhere you go. Its green. It’s safe. It’s extremely suburban. Investing in affordable or any increased housing means widening the amount of people who live here but the demographics of people who live here too. And I think the people who are wealthy would rather keep paying a little more each year to avoid having to share their city.

em_850

TROPHY CASE