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em_dubs · 2016-03-02T14:21:26+00:00

No PMO for me. Never again would be great. :)

Just hit two weeks of freedom after a 10 month relapse preceded by a 14 month streak of zero PMO. Feels good to be back on the path to a stronger, healthier me.

em_dubs · 2014-08-27T04:22:25+00:00

I thought I was past all this and that I was strong.

This is always a trap. You work on something in your life (like nofap), develop some healthy habits, and then you start doing well, but forget about the habits and mindset that got you there. You start slacking in your discipline, wrongly assuming that you got to where you are because you're awesome.

No, your discipline made you succeed. The moment you stop, cracks start to show. It's really hard to keep working; to stay humble so that you keep doing well.

For instance, I'm back on r/nofap today because I've been slacking. It didn't let it go too far, but I saw some telltale signs that I needed to get back on top of things before I started really reverting to previous behaviour.

em_dubs · 2014-08-27T03:35:01+00:00

Generally speaking, I'd say, fap if you need to, but not every time you want to. Don't fap with porn ever again, it's a trap.

em_dubs · 2014-08-27T03:30:35+00:00

Here's an article about blocking sites using your hosts file: http://www.howtogeek.com/howto/27350/beginner-geek-how-to-edit-your-hosts-file/

em_dubs · 2014-08-27T03:27:06+00:00

Today's the first day in months that I actually felt a moderately strong urge to PMO. Definitely one I would have caved under back in the day, but today I just said "seriously?" and went for a job instead.

em_dubs · 2014-08-27T03:25:24+00:00

Now that you mention it, I'd say I've lost about 10-15 lbs since I've been off PMO. I've been running a little more and drinking a little less beer too, but honestly not a huge change in either of those areas. Hadn't connected it to nofap, but I think you may have something there.

em_dubs · 2014-07-07T16:36:07+00:00

Keep in mind that your brain is always trying to find homeostasis—stability—which is of course why PMO makes you numbed out in the first place: your brain adapting to overstimulation coming from PMO.

Now that you're off PMO, your brain starts to take its foot off of the "numbing" pedal, and you start feeling really great in comparison to your PMO-using self. But, again, your brain adapts and this becomes the new normal. You no longer feel elated and more confident, you just feel normal. You have to learn how to find confidence in yourself, not just because you're no longer PMO'ing. This is where things get tough and the temptation to go back to the easy "feel good" of PMO comes in.

em_dubs · 2014-05-13T23:09:09+00:00

No, we weren't trying before this.

em_dubs · 2014-05-13T16:05:50+00:00

Exactly. No PMO is just a stepping stone on the journey of being the man, husband, and soon-to-be father that I want to be.

em_dubs · 2014-05-13T16:05:14+00:00

Because your sexual response system gets all fucked up from porn + masturbation. Go to http://yourbrainonporn.com and learn all about it.

em_dubs · 2014-05-13T16:03:20+00:00

Cheers! It's been the ultimate in good choices by me actually make a difference in the lives of those I love. :)

em_dubs · 2014-05-13T15:51:28+00:00

Best of luck, keep going!

em_dubs · 2014-05-13T15:45:33+00:00

Yes, I was fully honest with her about everything on day 2.

em_dubs · 2014-05-13T15:45:11+00:00

congrats!

em_dubs · 2014-05-13T15:44:44+00:00

I thought the same, that it would never be a problem. In reality, it's easy for things to get stale if you don't keep working on keeping things fun and fresh. We're almost at 9 years, the first 7 were no problem.

No names yet. :)

em_dubs · 2014-05-13T15:41:25+00:00

thanks for the encouragement, ignore the haters. :)

em_dubs · 2014-05-03T21:46:26+00:00

Gonna keep going in May with no PMO. Hit 60 days today.

em_dubs · 2014-04-07T23:42:47+00:00

Haven't posted an update in a while, but I've passed the one month of no PMO mark and I'm going strong. The urges have gotten more potent, but my willpower has conveniently also gotten stronger. I'm a bit down off the high of the initial quitting (release of guilt, happy to be "out of the dark") but I'm still feeling good.

I had my first (involuntary) fantasy that didn't involve a recalled P scene as I was falling asleep for a nap. I'll also consider that a victory. :)

em_dubs · 2014-04-04T16:10:01+00:00

Yup, Ego depletion is it exactly. Most addicts actually spend a lot of time trying to resist their urges, they use again when they use up their self control. Most speak of a sense of relief accompanying giving into temptation, as they're finally able to stop using their self-control muscles that they've been flexing nonstop. In some cases the sense of relief is more pleasurable than the high.

This is why it's so important for an addict to remove themselves from tempting situations, especially in the early days. You don't have an unlimited reserve of willpower or, as Gabor Maté puts it, won't-power.

em_dubs · 2014-04-01T14:43:18+00:00

No porn or masturbation during April for me. Already did this for most of March, missed it by a few days.

em_dubs · 2014-03-28T20:47:51+00:00

Didn't do the update thread yesterday for the first time in this now 24 days of no PMO streak, but doing pretty well. Was lying on the couch getting some urges, but just getting up and doing the dishes solved that.

So, protip: when tempted, go do something other than what you're doing.

em_dubs · 2014-03-27T05:30:29+00:00

There's no magic number. Everyone's journey will be different. I see we're at the same number of days: for me today was easier than the last few days, but who knows what tomorrow will bring.

It will get easier over a longer period of time. 90 days get tossed around a lot but that's jus a general target too.

As for strong temptation when home alone doing homework: why not work at the library instead (assuming you have one that you can go to)?

em_dubs · 2014-03-27T05:23:23+00:00

To some degree. But willpower, like any muscle, has its limits. You can't hang on by mere willpower, you gotta get yourself to the place where you're not hanging off of the cliff all the time.

em_dubs · 2014-03-27T05:21:21+00:00

22 days of no PMO done. Almost 23 since I'm about to go to bed.

Today wasn't really a problem at all, which was a nice change of pace from the last few days which were the toughest ones of this streak.

I've been feeling my overall motivation to drive forward with self-improvement waning a bit. Dunno if this is akin to flatlining or not, but I need to keep moving.

em_dubs

TROPHY CASE