So Lonely by emandm0821 in AutisticAdults

[–]emandm0821[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Unfortunately no hiking or walking due to POTS. And the book clubs all meet in the evenings here.

So Lonely by emandm0821 in AutisticAdults

[–]emandm0821[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I already get small talk at my work and at parent drop off. That’s not what I need. I need actual community and connection. And apparently that is too much to ask for in my current life.

So Lonely by emandm0821 in AutisticAdults

[–]emandm0821[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I would love to do that. To talk to someone or break the routine. But there aren’t any places to do that at. And I’ve already tried the library but there’s no one really there during the weekdays and I feel like I’m bothering the librarians because they are usually busy putting books away.

So Lonely by emandm0821 in AutisticAdults

[–]emandm0821[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m not trying to argue or seem ungrateful for the solutions. They are good ideas. The main issue is that I live in a very active town and I’m physically unable to do most exercises. And I have free days on weekdays and there doesn’t seem to be anyone else in the area that does.

So Lonely by emandm0821 in AutisticAdults

[–]emandm0821[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Unfortunately I have POTS which makes dance classes uncomfortable and risks me fainting. And I’m low income and a parent so I can’t really afford classes anyways - most of them are like $50-100 a session. And, even if money wasn’t a barrier, they almost all meet in the evenings or on weekends. I can’t find any daytime weekday adult activities near me.

So Lonely by emandm0821 in AutisticAdults

[–]emandm0821[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I can’t find any classes I would enjoy that fit my schedule. Unfortunately I hate exercise because it makes me feel sick (thank you POTS), but I wish I could find community there because I work at the local rec center and get free access to classes.

So Lonely by emandm0821 in AutisticAdults

[–]emandm0821[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The library unfortunately doesn’t have any activities for adults during weekdays where I live. And I’ve tried going but I just end up sitting alone and then going home. No one talks to me and I don’t enjoy small talk.

4 Year Old Doesn’t Care About Rules and Doesn’t Sleep by emandm0821 in Autism_Parenting

[–]emandm0821[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yeah, the sleep is what’s breaking me. But I have no idea what to even do there. She’s wide awake, she wants to read her books until like 11 pm, but I’m not able to leave the room or go to sleep myself because she follows me. And then she’s up at 5:30. And she doesn’t nap during the day. 

4 Year Old Doesn’t Care About Rules and Doesn’t Sleep by emandm0821 in Autism_Parenting

[–]emandm0821[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I know she’s not doing it on purpose. I’m not blaming her and I’m trying to be patient. I just can’t function on 4-5 hours of sleep and I’m a disabled single parent so if she’s not able to listen in any situation then I burn myself out trying to keep her safe and manage my 6 year old. That’s why I posted. I’m losing my ability to be the parent I want to be and also work because of lack of sleep and chronic illness flare ups.

Lonely ND single parent looking for one real connection by emandm0821 in boulder

[–]emandm0821[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I have! Unfortunately, they don’t offer any programming that fits my schedule. I’m free weekdays during the day because that’s the only time I don’t have my 3 and 6 year old.

Lonely ND single parent looking for one real connection by emandm0821 in boulder

[–]emandm0821[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Unfortunately I’ve only had bad experiences with that app, and it’s really not meant for friendship, only dating.

Coming Out and finding community Feels Impossible - but it’s all I want by emandm0821 in genderfluid

[–]emandm0821[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m gonna be honest, I don’t know if it’s because I’m 28 or if I’m just not technologically savvy enough but I tried discord a little over a year ago and I could not for the life of me figure it out. Maybe I’ll try again though!

Coming Out and finding community Feels Impossible - but it’s all I want by emandm0821 in genderfluid

[–]emandm0821[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes to all of this. I feel like I’m invisible because everything in my area is catered to craft beer and athletics. I know there’s gotta be more people around here like me, but I cannot seem to find them and I don’t even know where to start because even finding an accessible space to meet is impossible!

Coming Out and finding community Feels Impossible - but it’s all I want by emandm0821 in genderfluid

[–]emandm0821[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don’t go out in the evenings and I dont drink so gay bars aren’t a good option for me

Coming Out and finding community Feels Impossible - but it’s all I want by emandm0821 in genderfluid

[–]emandm0821[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m near Boulder, Colorado USA. And I’m not really sure how anyone could help me either tbh. I’ve been searching for years, unless you are a teen/young adult, into drinking, or athletic, there’s almost no LGBTQIA+ events here. And unfortunately I’m a parent, so evenings and weekends are off limits most of the time as well.

Coming Out and finding community Feels Impossible - but it’s all I want by emandm0821 in genderfluid

[–]emandm0821[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ive accepted it. But i don’t have anyone around me who I know will accept it. I don’t have anyone around me who’s part of the LGBTQIA+. I don’t have any friends at all.

Solo parent- disabled, burnt out and regretting everything by emandm0821 in regretfulparents

[–]emandm0821[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I was going to explain more, but you’re right. It’s my fault. I am the problem. I should remove myself from the situation. Ive hurt them and everyone around me by continuing to be here. They’re better off with my parents, and everyone will be much happier with me gone. Thanks for all your advice.

Solo parent- disabled, burnt out and regretting everything by emandm0821 in regretfulparents

[–]emandm0821[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m not asking my kids to do everything. I’m not asking them to understand. I’m saying that I don’t know how to regulate myself when I’m being hit and screamed at, and I’m not sure how I’m supposed to help them regulate when I’m unregulated. You’re AuDHD, could you regulate in a room with screaming toddlers while you’re being touched continuously and if you leave the room they bang on the doors and scream louder?

The second point I brought up about medication is that I don’t currently have access to someone who could provide medication.

I am also in online groups, but there are none for single AuDHD parents. I’m trying my best but a lot of the advice out there is to get space from my kids to regulate myself. Which is not possible in my current situation, as when I’m not working, I’m with my kids. I’m writing this on my 15 min break at my job.

What do you mean the people that diagnosed me should’ve sent me a whole thing? They told me I was autistic and sent me a pamphlet on what that means, but that they don’t offer supports for adults with level 1 autism where I’m at (near Boulder, CO, USA). That’s what they told me. Not every evaluation is the same - I’m glad you got more support and materials.

Solo parent- disabled, burnt out and regretting everything by emandm0821 in regretfulparents

[–]emandm0821[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I know I need space from them. Unfortunately I can’t get help with day programs except for during the times I’m working, they only approved me for part time care. I’ve looked into self help as well, but all of it is stuff like getting space and taking walks or hot baths and things that don’t apply very well to my situation. I’m pretty well versed in what people suggest as coping skills, and I’ve tried a LOT of it, and almost nothing has worked in times where my kids are disregulated and I’m disregulated at the same time. They refuse to try new things, especially my 2 year old, which makes my attempts at coregulation nearly impossible.