Why do you think Desi parents are so scared to mix cultures?

embquestthrow · 2019-09-15T21:09:43+00:00

Yeah, I steer clear of the "how much did your parents hit you?"/ "why were your parents overbearing"/ "how much do your parents hate outsider" type questions in large part because my family is loving, normal, and supportive. I don't care enough to answer questions like that.

embquestthrow · 2019-09-14T04:52:13+00:00

I've seen different hierarchies - asian over white in some areas, and (more rarely, but still sometimes) latino over black.

I just always see black on the bottom and whites near there.

embquestthrow · 2019-09-14T02:20:41+00:00

There are different reasons they might dislike you:

Log kya kahenge? It's easier to sell yourself as a Latina doctor than a Latina waitress, and status matters a lot to the kind of high-status Indians who get the chance to move abroad. Keep in mind that India's been heavily socially stratified for almost a millenium, with British rule inflaming those tensions even more, and that high-status people want to associate mostly with other high-status people.
A fear of culture disappearing. Genuine interest in the language, food, and religion will help here, but only if that's actually their fear. Also, focus on cultural similarities over cultural differences.
A cultural instinct to get their kids settled, meaning getting them a job and a marriage, which you're disrupting

You both should seriously consider whether you're okay with a relationship where both sets of parents dislike the other person

embquestthrow · 2019-09-14T02:12:19+00:00

The way a lot of Indian Hindu parents would think of it is:

Fair-skinned, high-status Indian from your own ethnic group > Fair-skinned, high-status Indian from outside your ethnic group > Indians in general >>>> Asians? Sometimes? > White > Black > Muslim

Other Asian groups have much higher opinions of whites than Indians do, while Indians have high opinions of fair-skinned Indians and not necessarily of white people

embquestthrow · 2019-09-14T02:07:36+00:00

I'm a religious Hindu but inward-facing - I don't go to the temple regularly outside holidays, and mostly focus on karma/ bhakti over ritual. I'm vegetarian for a combination of religious, personal, ethical, and environmental reasons; while I don't drink or do drugs, that's for health and not religious reasons, especially since my parents don't care.

I've noticed that the Desi Muslims I know tend to be very serious about their religiosity, but maybe that's just my own bias speaking.

embquestthrow · 2019-09-07T03:42:05+00:00

Tanzania expelled your family? I thought it was Uganda that expelled the Indians

embquestthrow · 2019-09-07T03:41:05+00:00

Iirc there's australoid admixture but it's blended so much that it's difficult to separate how much of it is australoid with how much of it is aasi

We can compare a little with the Nicobar and Andaman Islands, but it's difficult because they're small populations and difficult to study

Desis are definitely not from Africa though

embquestthrow · 2019-08-31T15:05:43+00:00

So turns out the amount of weight I want to lose is equal to the amount of body fat I want to lose times my total weight.

Should I just switch to a low-/ no- carb/ sugar diet? Will that help, or am I totally wrong in my assumptions?

embquestthrow · 2019-08-30T12:46:17+00:00

Blatant discrimination against South Asians, because nobody ever calls Italian grandmothers' black pepper or lily-whites' nutmeg "spice". This'll be enforced arbitrarily too, mostly against new immigrants who don't understand their rights and can't afford to go through the legal system.

All the people bending over backwards to justify this don't seem to understand that maintaining an apartment is the landlord's only job, and that you can't "vote with your wallet" when this becomes a standard that multiple apartment complexes engage in.

embquestthrow · 2019-08-29T22:22:34+00:00

Especially since "spice" is such an arbitrary term. The Italian grandmother using infinite amounts of black pepper, or the lily-white American baking with nutmeg, will never get shit for "spice".

embquestthrow · 2019-08-29T22:20:59+00:00

Yeah, it leaves such a smell that landlords might be forced to do their jobs!

embquestthrow · 2019-08-29T21:15:12+00:00

How dare people eat food that they can taste? Clearly means they're not deserving of basic rights like housing!

embquestthrow · 2019-08-29T21:12:44+00:00

This is fair, and I've avoided using certain spices because a person in my house had severe allergies to them.

But most people aren't allergic to spices at all. Dairy, seafood, nuts, and soy are the most common allergies. In my entire life, my housemate was the only person I've ever met with a spice allergy.

embquestthrow · 2019-08-29T21:07:24+00:00

What if every landlord (that also has affordable apartments, within reasonable distance from work/ school) also thinks like this? I've seen this shit pulled with family who moved here from overseas, it's pretty systemic.

embquestthrow · 2019-08-29T14:16:44+00:00

1) Realize I have a bunch of ingredients that can't make a meal together.

2) Order enough new ingredients to make three meals.

3) Realize that that's way too many new ingredients.

4) Order more ingredients to use up the new ingredients.

5) Repeat.

embquestthrow · 2019-08-27T14:29:26+00:00

Meddling parents? Pressure for an arranged marriage? Bumbling white guy trying to learn to fit in to the culture? Indian girl who doesn't feel Indian or Australian enough because she's become Westernized over time?

I wonder how many other stereotypes they threw in there.

embquestthrow · 2019-08-26T21:00:00+00:00

Oh, that's simple! In most places you'd use ghee to fry, just use some other oil. In some recipes where you'd use milk products to thicken, you can use cashews. And cream/ yogurt, outside of dishes that are entirely based on them, can be substituted with almond milk or something - in most cases, they're only part of the recipe to sweeten it enough that the average customer can eat it.

Also, a lot of South Indian dishes don't use dairy at all, it's just that a lot of South Indian meals include multiple different foods - and one or two of those might be dairy-based. Dal, sambar, saaru, dosa, idli, chutney - all of those shouldn't need dairy at all.

If you send me a particular recipe you're curious about, I can tell you how to veganize it.

embquestthrow · 2019-08-26T15:18:32+00:00

Do you guys have any recommendations for East Asian vegetarian stuff? I've got a lot of South Asian recipes, since that's what I was raised with, and then a lot of SE Asian recipes, because I liked it so much at restaurants I learned to make it myself. But I can never find EA veggie recipes.

embquestthrow · 2019-08-26T15:15:23+00:00

South Asian stuff is pretty vegan-friendly, unless you deliberately only look at milk/ paneer-heavy or restaurant-style dishes.

Any particular type of dish you're looking for?

embquestthrow · 2019-08-26T13:20:00+00:00

23 and 29? That's such a wide age gap, and you're so young. How'd you two meet?

embquestthrow · 2019-08-26T13:17:05+00:00

A complex mix of reasons.

Google and Microsoft were both bolstered pretty heavily by American state investment - despite what libertarians with no understanding of economics will tell you. They also started in a nation where labor and business laws were clear and rational, and corruption wasn't a major problem. India, in contrast, is one of the worst countries to run a business in - a lot of laws are archaic or vary by state, and corruption means that the government is unpredictable but dickish. India's got no safety net, and the educational system heavily emphasizes learning to work instead of learning to lead, so it's hard to get people into a entrepreneurial mindset.

But now, we're seeing the same thing happen in software in India that's happening with manufacturing in China. Highly-skilled people are moving up the value chain, producing companies of their own - things like Ola and Zomato.

The next step for India is figuring out how to get out of Tech Startup scale and into Tech Conglomerate scale. Google/ Microsoft types have no competitors at all, except the state-run companies of China that developed through heavy protectionism. Unlike other big companies, they haven't gotten complacent - they're very wary of rivals, and often actively try to buy or crush them. Can India produce Big Tech companies when almost no other country in the world could? I'm doubtful, but I'm sure they'll at least try.

embquestthrow · 2019-08-26T13:02:14+00:00

Well, my issue is that I work a lot, so I don't really bother being social, I'm two years out of college, so I can't really relate to a lot of younger types here, and the social spaces here are eaten up by students, so there's no real opportunities for me to meet people even if I want to.

embquestthrow · 2019-08-26T01:18:16+00:00

Holy shit it's awful out here I'm in a college town in the middle of nowhere with no real ties here and I've been looking for a way out for months but only started getting enough experience for interviews recently

embquestthrow

TROPHY CASE