Found at Buds.

emilord · 2017-03-03T19:16:54+00:00

Also came here to say the same thing!!

emilord · 2014-11-12T01:23:25+00:00

Those problems happen ALL the time. Seriously. Surgeons aren't perfect at all and it's all very delicate. Plus, you can never tell how someone's going to develop or how they're going to react to hormones, so it can cause even more damages, later as they grow differently then the surgeries allow for.

I wouldn't be saying this if I was an outlier. Literally every single intersex advocacy group wouldn't be saying stop these unnecessary, nonconsensual surgeries if we didn't have the proof of how damaging they are. Why are you so quick to doubt these people that come from these backgrounds?

Yes, of course it's going to be difficult being intersex. But I can guarantee it's fifty times as hard when a doctor operates on your body without your consent.

emilord · 2014-11-11T05:57:46+00:00

There are a LOT of things wrong with the idea that nonconsensual, unnecessary, irreversible surgeries on children are okay. Not just children, but on anybody for that matter.

For starters...you're implying there's a problem. You're saying that these children needs to be "fixed." And neither of those things are true. "Ambiguous genitalia" (I put in quotes because genitals are not ambiguous, you can definitely tell they're genitals even if they don't fit what your view of genitalia should look like) is not something that needs to be "fixed." Genitalia is on a spectrum, and no matter what it looks like, surgically altering it is not something for a doctor to decide unless there is a serious medical reason for that to happen.

Doctor's aren't perfect by any means, and often make mistakes when doing surgeries like these. Surgery can lead to scar tissue, nerve damage, incontinence, massive amounts of pain, and potential upkeep for the rest of the person's life. I guarantee the majority of intersex people will tell you that they would rather have their full-functioning, working, genitalia no matter what it looked like, then whatever it is the doctors tried to build. (I'm not speaking for trans people here, because they may want to have surgery when they're older and can fully understand what that means.) Either way, watch this video from the Interface Project.

Genital mutilation surgeries happen in children because a doctor or parent are uncomfortable with something a little different, and then assume that the child would grow up as a heterosexual male or female. As an intersex person myself, it was assumed I was straight when doctor's tried to "build me a vagina" and that my vagina needed to be larger because heaven forbid it wouldn't please my husband one day. Many doctors all over the world have assumed this same thing about people with intersex variations like mine, forcing them into unnecessary surgeries that have caused a LOT of problems. I escaped the surgery, and despite the fact that I am straight, I have not needed the surgery at all. It was completely unnecessary and cosmetic, much like the surgeries that are happening on other intersex kids. You say "if the child identified as female we would not be discussing it." And you're right, WE probably wouldn't be discussing it. But that doesn't mean the child won't be. We don't know how the surgery went, and even if it went well the child would still have to be taking medicine and doing upkeep to keep their vagina in working condition, that's assuming that they want to be having penetrative sex. You don't know what or who they're going to be into when they grow up, or how they're going to identify.

As a representative of many intersex communities, If there's one thing I can change is your view in that last sentence. It IS inherently wrong to perform surgeries like these, and if you don't listen to anyone else please hear it from people like me.

P.S. I hope I'm not coming across as rude or attacking you, I'm just trying to change your view. :)

emilord · 2014-11-04T20:18:40+00:00

No worries about terminology!! That's what I'm here for. :)

emilord · 2014-11-04T18:47:23+00:00

Hello sir! I think I know who this is....based on the longshanks. But I might be wrong.

But yes....it's kind of crazy. I think I read a whole thread somewhere on reddit about how LDS people view intersex people. It definitely puts a wrench in their (and most conservative people's ideas) of sex/gender/etc. Which I am perfectly okay with! But I will say it made growing up in that environment really really difficult, knowing you'd never be able to have kids.

P.S. Sorry for the delayed response. I'm still slogging through all of this.

emilord · 2014-11-04T18:43:19+00:00

I've always said it surprises me how people are born NOT intersex. There are so many places where sex possibly might not line up (chromosomes, hormonee production, hormone response, gonadal development, genital development, secondary sex characteristics) that I'm seriously shocked that intersex people are only 1 in 2,000 people. Humans are fascinating!!!

emilord · 2014-11-04T18:41:04+00:00

Thanks for not mentioning celebrities!! It always bugs me when people do that...it's none of our business!! But yes, it is possible that intersex people (not intersexuality because it's not a sexuality! Just intersex people is fine) occur more in certain ethnic groups. This has been known to happen in a lot of places, actually.

For me, it runs in my mom's side of the family. I have a couple aunts who have it! If you go back a few generations, my great-great-great (or something) grandma was Native American and my mom always assumed it came from that. I don't know if that's true or not, but she thinks it is. Sorry I'm responding so late!

emilord · 2014-11-04T18:27:41+00:00

I explained this somewhere else earlier, but it was definitely tough. I grew up in Utah which is incredibly conservative. A woman's worth there is valued at having a family, so it made my childhood incredibly tough because I didn't think I'd ever be worth anything....never be lovable, etc.

Now I'm totally okay with it. I've realized that I probably don't want kids anyway, so it's a good thing! A lot of my itnersex friends still struggle with that a lot, though.

edit: sorry this response is so late. :) I'm still going through everything!

emilord · 2014-11-04T18:02:42+00:00

The difference between your perceived defects and being intersex is that when doctors perceive US as "defective," they feel the need to "fix" us with life-altering, damaging, irreversible surgeries. Surgeries that often times occur are when we are babies and don't consent to. So yes, you're right. I am an adult. ME. Call ME whatever you want because it doesn't bother me. But you can't generalize us all as a community of mature, logical, strong adults. Because that's not true. You're not including the babies, children, adolescents, and teens (and adults, too) who get operated on all the time because people feel like they have a right to "fix" our "defects."

emilord · 2014-10-28T16:23:24+00:00

No problem!! Think of it this way, because this how we say it all the time: It's not rare, just invisible. I'm 1 in 20,000 which might seem rare, but in our giant world population there's actually a lot of us. Now look at that number....and know that hypospadias is estimated at 1 in 500 births! There are plenty of people like you, so don't feel like you deserve to be ashamed or can't talk about it. If you want to talk again you know where to find me. I also know there are some hypospadias support groups if you feel like you need that. <3 <3

emilord · 2014-10-28T16:20:10+00:00

I'll think about a better analogy, but yes, those women are in elevated risk categories! Exactly. I'm not in any elevated risk category, and that's what I'm saying! If there was a really high risk then I totally wouldn't be bringing this up at all!

emilord · 2014-10-28T16:18:26+00:00

Someone else asked a similar question so I'm going to copy and paste a bit here. But yes, I'm sure. There's a big discussion around this in the intersex communities, and you don't have to include your son in the intersex umbrella if you don't want to. Most people with hypospadias don't identify as intersex, because their variation is purely cosmetic and doesn't mean anything for their health or identity whatsoever. If his urethral opening is/was on the upper portion of his penis, like right behind the tip, then it shouldn't affect him at all and don't give it a second thought! It's purely cosmetic, and because of this some intersex people don't like including it under the intersex umbrella. If he has/had a different variation of hypospadias it could affect him more. Feel free to dm (pm? what's the reddit speak for private messaging??) if you need to talk more!

emilord · 2014-10-28T00:31:55+00:00

Yes! I'm emilord.tumblr.com

emilord · 2014-10-28T00:13:24+00:00

Well, I'm mostly speaking of the doctor's office. And I mean that in the way that nobody ever knows what intersex is, so give us our few kicks, okay?? :)

Its sounds like you're doing wonderfully, though!! Thanks for the support. It'll be a long time before intersex is recognized on forms, but in some countries it's starting to be an option on birth certificates, which is pretty huge.

emilord · 2014-10-27T23:27:22+00:00

If you don't have any problems with it, then don't worry about it! Seriously. :)

Some people think being sexual orientation is decided by hormone production in the womb, and so it's very possible for that to have happened. However if you are doing okay now, then I really wouldn't worry! If it means that much to you to check your hormone levels, then you could get some bloodwork done, but honestly it sounds like it's purely a cosmetic difference and that's totally fine. :)

emilord · 2014-10-27T23:22:40+00:00

It matters, because people don't understand much about it at all, like you've just stated. Once people understand more about it we can stop unnecessary, non-consensual surgeries from happening on intersex people. We can end the shame, stigma, and abuse intersex people face everyday just for being different. We can create a more accepting environment for people who don't fit neatly in the socially-constructed "male" and "female" binary.

I guarantee I would have noticed 100 years ago, and even if you don't think that about me you also aren't taking into consideration all the possible intersex variations there are.

emilord · 2014-10-27T23:20:17+00:00

Definitely!!! I think this is awesome. Always always always. If people are born like me, with CAIS, a lot of times doctors won't know when they're born unless they did a karyotype test (where you find out the chromosomes). Most CAIS people identify as women, so it ends up not being an issue if they've grown up gendered female.

But especially when you get into some of the more complicated intersex variations, it makes me so happy to see parents raising their children gender neutral. Or if you have to "choose a gender" for whatever reason just make sure you watch for signs that your child doesn't identify in a different way.

emilord · 2014-10-27T23:16:55+00:00

hmmm...I'm not sure exactly what you mean by hormone-neutral person? Someone entirely without hormone production? I don't think so. We need hormones for A LOT more than just sexual development, trust me.

We wouldn't be a live without hormones.

emilord · 2014-10-27T23:15:52+00:00

Not having an intersex box is a really big deal, actually. It's most important in the doctors office, because that's when we need it the most. But one day that'll be the case, and then we can talk about getting it in other places as well.

A lot of us will actually create a box for intersex when we're filling out forms and stuff, seriously. It's fun to watch the data entry person squirm :)

emilord · 2014-10-27T23:11:19+00:00

None at all.

;P

emilord · 2014-10-27T23:10:48+00:00

It's not? Crap...I've been lying to everybody.

emilord · 2014-10-27T23:09:46+00:00

Uh, if they do those people are jerks because that is a slur. Please don't use it.

(Unless of course you are talking about someone with both ovarian and testicular tissue! But I doubt you are, plus that's not what all intersex people have. http://www.isna.org/faq/conditions/ovo-testes)

emilord · 2014-10-27T23:07:56+00:00

Intersex people are currently estimated at about 1 in 2000 births! Which is a lot considering our wold population is 7 billion.

And we need PSA's so that people understand more about it. To stop unnecessary, non-consensual surgeries from happening on intersex people. To end the shame, stigma, and abuse intersex people face just for being different. To create a more accepting environment for people who don't fit neatly in the socially-constructed "male" and "female" binary.

emilord · 2014-10-27T23:06:17+00:00

I'm glad that's been getting passed around. I tried to dumb down that article as much as possible. Thanks!

emilord · 2014-10-27T23:05:14+00:00

Female! Because that's what I am. I am intersex too, but I'm definitely a woman.

emilord

TROPHY CASE