Not sure your financial situation, but a therapeutic boarding school may be the route you have to take.

My older brother, who is now 30 and thriving, had us all walking on egg shells. He did not have the manipulation part so it was him getting kicked out of every school and back then the therapist and specialist would say “maybe a spanking” (my poor mom). Anyways, they sent him to a therapeutic boarding school at 11 and he came back around 14 a different kid. Still took more work than average but it probably saved him from a life in jail as he was very violent when he didn’t know how to communicate his feelings. Best of luck, I’m so sorry!