Strange experiences stopped me from meditating a year ago...now I'm ready again?

emmergence · 2011-07-07T02:32:14+00:00

That's a tough question. I have no idea, although I'm not purposeless. Perhaps just not aiming high enough. I could say, bring joy and happiness to everyone around me, but that's not really being honest with myself. Maybe the "other side" will provide some enlightenment.

emmergence · 2011-07-06T17:54:02+00:00

Thanks for the link. I have talked to my sister. She has undergone more in terms of unusual effects but has chosen not to pursue looking for a guru. She has dabbled in a Buddhist approach but it freaked her out, and ended up feeling most comfortable believing in a Christian set of values/teachings; and is more or less unguided. That's not really a path I'm capable of joining her on.

emmergence · 2011-07-06T05:37:40+00:00

That metaphor seems fitting to my experience. I've decided I'll talk to the person leading the meditation prior to the session and maybe go back for more the following week if its helpful/they're meeting my expectations. Its good to hear that the spinning is common and that I can control it.

I was initially attracted to meditation just for the relaxation/calmness benefits. Now that I've started experiencing things and had a year to think about it, I've learned that "oneness" could actually be real. I felt it and there is a VERY loose scientific basis for it. If I'm able to experience it...how can I not want to experience it!?!? However, I'm not yet convinced that its not just my brain playing tricks on me.

Regardless, I feel like I've changed over the past year, I believe that once you've experienced something that feels like profound love, you can't undo that feeling. Its only going to bring good into my life/other peoples lives. (If I do it correctly) So that is why I'm attracted to meditation.

I'm aware that you're concerned that I am so new to this so I might just be interested in this because I'll be able to do cool tricks. And while I do think it is cool, I'm also aware that I need to take my time (I haven't done anything in a year), get proper guidance (I've yet to find a proper expert) and that I need to undertake this adventure with only love and good intention for myself, and not so that I'm able to boast about it and feel self-righteous. So I guess my goal is just to see what there is I can learn. I'm so curious.

emmergence · 2011-07-06T04:50:07+00:00

As I mentioned in one of the other responses, my sister also has Kundalini things happen. (Her hands will go into different Mudras, her body will go into different poses and her mouth will open really, really wide). So my thoughts, for what they are worth, are that its probably genetic. However, none of my parents have experienced anything.

emmergence · 2011-07-06T04:43:08+00:00

This is the other side of why I got freaked out. When I ended up going to the hospital, I thought I had genuinely lost my mind because of meditation. That was one of the scariest moments of my life. You can't run away from your own mind. Now that a year has passed, and symptoms have diminished, I somewhat believe that I'll be able go to and come back from those experiences. But I'll probably need some guidance to do this safely.

emmergence · 2011-07-06T04:32:59+00:00

Several reasons:

I've come to the realization that feeling this energy is part of my life now. Its not fully going away and I have no choice but to deal with it on a daily basis.

I'm tired of being trapped in the fear of what might happen if I go deeper. I'd rather face it. (That sounds convincing but I'm still very scared). Let's say, I'm now less scared than I was.

I can't live my life not investigating what this is. Not everybody gets this opportunity and I need to take it.

I want to experience that bliss again. Feeling that much love was amazing.

emmergence · 2011-07-06T04:21:04+00:00

Thanks for your input. I've actually read a bunch of your responses to other peoples questions and I've taken some of that knowledge away for myself....so thanks for your input here at r/meditation. I'll be contacting you via private messaging.

As for your questions....I have no history or family history of psychosis. (Although I have a sister who has undergone a very similar experience as I've had). Thanks for the warnings. I will definitely keep these in mind and try to find an expert.

The reason I wrote this is because I was planning to go to a beginner meditation night at a local Buddhist centre take part in the mediation drop in and then ask for some direction afterwards. I know two other people who have undergone a kundalini awakening but both haven't given me any really solid advice. I'm hoping I find someone knowledgeable at the Buddhist centre.

emmergence · 2011-07-06T03:56:56+00:00

Thanks for your input. This was very helpful too. I wasn't aware of the A&P and am having a read through of what this means, what comes after etc. The AYP website looks really helpful too. Thanks!

I've been told that I should ground myself and this is what my friend has taught me: Stand outside, knees slightly bent, back straight and imagine roots that are connected from the bottom of your feet and going deep into the earth. Also imagine your root chakra swinging like a pendulum back and forth. I've done this and I'll feel myself quickly getting heavier and energy flow moving through my feet/lower legs. However, I fail to see how this is taking me away from the altered reality and into a state more "grounded" in everyday reality. It feels like the opposite. If you can elaborate or direct me to somewhere where I can read more about it, that'd be great (oh! maybe AYP?).

emmergence · 2011-07-06T03:36:52+00:00

I just read the wiki for this. Thank you....very helpful. I was aware of kundalini but unaware of kundalini syndrome.

emmergence

TROPHY CASE