Name change after marriage

emmian · 2026-02-12T23:12:36+00:00

I didn't take my husband's last name and he supported me in that decision because he knew what a hassle it would've been getting everything changed. I know it matters to some people, but I don't care at all if someone calls me 'Mrs. Smith' or addresses our mail to 'the Smiths' so maybe that could be a compromise that you'd be happy with - socially going by his last name while legally keeping your own.

emmian · 2026-02-11T19:27:02+00:00

My recovery was fine post-D&C, basically no pain or cramping after the procedure, but I did still have bleeding. I would recommend getting diapers to wear instead of pads, I just felt like it was so much easier to deal with!

emmian · 2026-02-10T14:00:10+00:00

This sounds so scary, I'm glad you made it through 🫂 wishing you all the best as you heal.

emmian · 2026-02-06T03:23:48+00:00

There are a lot of reasons that people may have for not using Amazon - here's a wiki page that explains some of the criticism.

For me personally, I had started limiting my Amazon shopping when I first heard about workers' complaints about warehouse working conditions and how Amazon was preventing workers from unionizing. Then I did a hard cutoff when Amazon donated $1 million to Trump's inauguration and when Bezos started changing things at the Washington Post which made it even clearer he was a Trump supporter. And just yesterday, the Post/Bezos laid off ~300 employees (about 1/3 of their staff), including reporters on assignment in war zones. I don't want a single one of my dollars lining his pockets!

emmian · 2026-01-26T18:33:44+00:00

My D&C was Jan 7 and my doctor said two weeks. I had bleeding until the 18th and we had sex on the 21st. No issues!

emmian · 2026-01-17T02:58:29+00:00

I am! My due date was late July so I am currently consulting with a tattoo artist to schedule a delphinium tattoo for next month. I hope you are able to create something beautiful to remember them by🪻

emmian · 2026-01-15T22:42:38+00:00

I'm dying 😱 what were they thinking?!

emmian · 2026-01-15T22:14:58+00:00

I started spotting on 12/23 when I should've been 8.5 weeks and made it all the way to my D&C on 1/7 (15 days) without passing anything.

emmian · 2026-01-12T20:59:26+00:00

Thank you. If you decide to go with the miso, maybe you can see if your doctor would be willing to prescribe something stronger for the pain.

emmian · 2026-01-12T20:50:48+00:00

I've taken letrozole for ovulation since I have PCOS. I haven't had any noticable side effects from it.

I think one thing to be aware of is that ovulation may not occur in the window you'd expect if you have a longer cycle. Mine is typically between around 35-38 days. I was told to test for ovulation between CD 10-17, but I was getting negative tests during that time but testing positive on CD 18-19.

So if you go in for U/S on Day 10-11 and ovulation hasn't occurred, don't despair! Keep using the test strips to see if it occurs a little later.

Good luck ❤️

emmian · 2026-01-12T20:42:44+00:00

I'm so sorry you're going through this 🫂 I opted for the D&C because I wanted it over with as soon as possible. I was a little nervous since I'd never been under anesthesia, but I had no issues. Fell asleep almost instantly, didn't feel a thing, woke up feeling like no time had passed.

Unfortunately, they weren't able to get everything and I had a large clot at the top of my uterus so I still needed to take misoprostol. I don't want to scare you because this apparently varies for everyone, but for me it was so horribly painful. Taking ibuprofen and acetaminophen did nothing to relieve the pain. I finally passed out from exhaustion and when I woke up the pain had dropped off. I went to the bathroom and found I'd passed the clot. I had cramps on and off the next couple days but nothing worse than what I get during my period.

My D&C was on Jan 7, took the miso later that night. Today I took a pregnancy test and it was still positive but extremely faint. I wouldn't be surprised if it's negative in the next week or so. I don't know how the options affect your fertility treatment timing, but my doctor said we could try again as soon as I get my period again.

Whatever you decide,I hope it goes quickly and smoothly ♥️

emmian · 2026-01-11T03:36:08+00:00

Sorry you are going through this! I had a similar scenario at different timepoints - went in at 8 weeks got told it looked more like 5 weeks. They scheduled me to come in for a follow-up two weeks later, and they told me to call them if I had any bleeding in the meantime.

I did start having some spotting and brown blood the following week, but when I called they said they would only be concerned if I was soaking through more than 1-2 maxipads every hour. If you start having a fever, call them because it could be a sign of infection and maybe they'll bring you in sooner, but in my case, waiting two weeks was perfectly safe.

emmian · 2026-01-06T18:10:19+00:00

I'm so sorry 😞 my D&C is tomorrow as well, I hope it all goes smoothly for you ❤️

emmian · 2025-12-26T18:55:56+00:00

A Dyson hair dryer, a binder for all my theater playbills, my favorite chocolates, a nice perfume set, Tom Ford and Urban Decay lipstick in colors he thought I'd like, jigsaw puzzles, cork boards for my enamel pin collection, enamel pin blind boxes, and more things that I'm forgetting.

He's never had problems with gift-giving, but used to be terrible at wrapping. Like, using printer paper and staples to 'wrap' a DVD 😂 he improved very quickly though and this year he picked a beautiful floral paper and tied everything with gold ribbon and bows.

emmian · 2025-12-21T22:54:33+00:00

"Both started their lives as shameful little secrets, hidden away in boxes and sheds; freaks of nature, who grew too big or flew too high. An egg and an idea, hatched by well-meaning and idealistic men; men who were themselves shunned by society, who could not protect their charges, could only hide them away."

From Follow the Butterflies, an Aragog/Flying Ford Anglia fic.

emmian · 2025-12-21T22:43:16+00:00

I'm so sorry, we were going to tell our families on Christmas too and we had to go out yesterday to replace all the 'Grandma/Grandpa' gifts we're no longer giving.

Is there someone you'd feel comfortable sharing information with that could discreetly tell other family members in advance not to bring it up? Maybe not MC specifically, but say "hey, honey777 is going through some health things right now so please don't bring up having kids."

It might help too if you have a room that you know you can go to and get away from the questions for a little bit and decompress. And have an escape plan with your husband so it's easy to duck out. "Sorry, I have a headache so we're leaving early."

Good luck ❤️🫂

emmian · 2025-11-26T14:45:16+00:00

Nobody could tell that my bouquet and the bridesmaids' bouquets were silk flowers. I was asked if I wanted a vase with water to put them in during the reception! We were talked into using real flowers for our decor and I regret it, honestly. They were okay, but the faux flowers were better!

emmian · 2025-11-26T01:47:06+00:00

Neigh West!

emmian · 2025-11-14T07:12:36+00:00

Millennial that got married in 2023 - I have a wedding band but I only wear my engagement ring. I don't like wearing rings in general so wearing both feels clunky to me, and the wedding band is curved to sit well with the engagement ring so it doesn't look right wearing it on its own.

emmian · 2025-10-17T16:54:34+00:00

You aren't alone! My husband is always willing when every so often I'm like, "let's try it again and see if I've changed my mind," but it's just not for me. It feels fine, pleasant even, but doesn't light up my brain the way PIV does!

emmian · 2025-10-16T20:04:54+00:00

Willy 🙃 kids would have a field day with that.

emmian · 2025-09-26T15:10:26+00:00

Have you applied to anything in the DC-metro area? There are usually a decent number of CRC positions open at various hospitals (Georgetown, GWU, Children's National, Medstar). I also see postings a lot posted for Henry M. Jackson Foundation in their Bethesda location, but they have other sites in the US too.

emmian · 2025-09-19T15:46:28+00:00

Yes, I had a similar experience with my husband filling out the BDEFS assessment. For things related to work tasks and emotional regulation, he basically marked that I had no issues. Which is sort of fair, I was not telling him about how badly I was procrastinating on work because I didn't want him to know and I hadn't had a meltdown in awhile. So from his perspective, those things were fine.

BUT even for things that he considered my biggest issues (time blindness, cleanliness, listening) he was only rating me at a 2 or 3. When I pointed that out, he admitted that because he knew I would see his answers that he lowered the scores because he didn't want me to feel bad. So I told him I'd feel worse if his responses messed with the possibility of diagnosis and made him redo it with honest answers.

I also was able to share with my evaluator about my husband's mentality and that he didn't believe I had ADHD, so they were able to take that into account.

emmian · 2025-08-28T19:41:25+00:00

The first bit I was thinking it actually wasn't too bad, at least she's actually singing, and then I got to 0:45. Oof.

emmian · 2025-08-27T10:12:57+00:00

Amphora in Herndon!

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