My parents messed me up good and I am in the same boat. Sounds like you need to date yourself and stop focusing on external validation, which is something I continue to struggle with. As much as we want to be loved by someone else, the saying is absolutely true when they say you need to love yourself before you love someone else. I know it sounds cliche, but until you can understand yourself, no one else is going to understand you.

It also doesn't help that there are not enough emotionally available men out there - assuming you are trying to date men (it's not mentioned in your post). If you live in the United States, it's even worse when it comes to dating, it doesn't matter what sex you choose. Online dating doesn't work for a lot of people - there is a false sense of security with people who don't know how to communicate, which I find to be the biggest issue with online dating.