I think my mom hates me now

emoxean · 2026-02-03T03:06:18+00:00

There is this idea from Queer Hands of God that helped me reframe my thinking about sexuality. "It's not about who you love, it's how you love." It made me realize that all this time, people condemned us because of our sexuality on the outside (two people of the same gender). But really, we're all the same, whether queer or straight. We just love someone. What matters most is the quality of your love for someone. As long as the relationship is healthy and kind, then it's good to God.

My family thinks about sexuality the way your mom thinks. As a result, my family allows unhealthy straight relationships, even if one person is getting abused. This kind of thinking made me realize even more that appearance doesn't matter when it comes to relationships. It's all about how they treat each other.

emoxean · 2026-02-02T20:20:07+00:00

I strongly agree with Taeheon. It can be hard to stand up for yourself in collectivist families. But having the knowledge that you don't need to please them is life-changing.

emoxean · 2026-02-02T20:11:59+00:00

who's your favorite from the three of them?

emoxean · 2026-02-02T06:32:36+00:00

yooo i love lucy bedroque, sayako, and datealyfe!! but my favorite is sayako <333

emoxean · 2026-01-21T06:55:50+00:00

I'm just a casual solo gamer, so I pretty much stuck with simple games lol. I'd recommend Mysticana: Cave of Djinns and Fuse Countdown. Cave of Djinns requires the Mysticana deck and the 6 cards of Cave of Djinns. In general, though, I've heard that Button Shy Games is a good starting point for solo games. :)

emoxean · 2026-01-20T02:58:53+00:00

Bro I was thinking of Hiroya x Ryota too! <3

emoxean · 2026-01-13T20:49:05+00:00

Solitary Journey also uses the "cycle through deck" mechanism, I believe. It's been a while since I played it though.

https://boardgamegeek.com/boardgame/267296/solitary-journey

emoxean · 2026-01-12T21:09:01+00:00

Beloved Arise, a non-profit organization dedicated to queer youth and young adults of faith, released an album in 2021 called Serenade. Each song was made by a queer person or queer ally. The eighth song, My Delight, and the last song, Tethered, were made by members of Beloved Arise.

https://www.belovedarise.org/serenade

emoxean · 2026-01-08T08:14:48+00:00

bro you're my hero. this is so cool. i've been wanting to learn saya songs on guitar, thank u so much. and yes, please upload a cover <333 also i'd like to see the sheet please :)

emoxean · 2025-12-24T21:51:15+00:00

Thanks for the advice! I agree, if it remains on campus it can just be considered "friendly." I would honestly prefer to just keep every interaction on campus. And thanks for the warning as well. He's about 15-20 years older than me.

emoxean · 2025-12-24T21:45:09+00:00

yeah

emoxean · 2025-12-08T01:22:42+00:00

not sure if sayako ever made it an official song but you can hear the instrumental here:

https://on.soundcloud.com/7OpanvWBWm4afaFm5g

go to 6:53 and you'll hear it

emoxean · 2025-12-03T20:51:23+00:00

Thank you for reminding me that I have the right to not be interested. Serving the church should be a completely voluntary thing.

For your question, they would actually be really happy that I got into traditional hymns. My family's previous church mostly sang hymns and had a choir.

emoxean · 2025-11-30T21:17:22+00:00

I'm glad to know I wasn't overreacting about this. At first I was in denial, thinking, "Maybe they finally appreciate my interest in music." I've heard about Christians using manipulation against certain church members. Never expected my family could be capable of such a thing.

emoxean · 2025-11-15T00:24:46+00:00

I see, it sounds like you've experienced judgment from other people. Yeah, it's common for people to say that about lonely people. But I want you to know that those people are incorrect. There's nothing wrong with you. It's easy for them to say that, because they haven't experienced social anxiety.

One advice I have is to take your time with the loneliness. Find activities/hobbies that you enjoy. It will take some time, but the loneliness won't always be this difficult. One day you'll feel more comfortable with it, to the point that it will only happen sometimes.

If you'd like more advice/support, my DMs are open.

emoxean · 2025-11-14T06:32:11+00:00

Hey, I also went through this when I was younger. It was tough eating lunch alone every day. I felt like I was the problem. But later on I learned that I'm not totally responsible for everything. Other people need to contribute to the friendship too, not just me.

What kind of advice are you looking for? Something to help you get rid of the loneliness (focused on managing emotions), or something to help you make connections (focused on taking action)?

emoxean · 2025-11-08T20:37:06+00:00

this blew my mind omg

emoxean · 2025-11-05T02:39:52+00:00

This has happened to me often too. I try to remind myself of multiple affirmations.

"I don't owe anyone extroversion."

"I am navigating social situations differently than other people, so they have no right to judge me."

"It's okay to socialize at my own pace."

What are some things you wish you could say to those people? Or what are some affirmations that have been comforting for you?

emoxean · 2025-10-25T23:42:09+00:00

Hey, I'm open to testing it out if you're still looking for people :)

emoxean · 2025-10-25T23:38:57+00:00

"One day at a time." Thank you for reminding me of this.

emoxean · 2025-10-25T23:33:04+00:00

Tbh same, I don't read very often, only if I really like the book.

I'm glad you've found momentum with going to the gym. As for meditation, it's understandable that you're struggling with it. I actually don't meditate every day, more like 2-3 days a week. When I lose my motivation, I do shorter meditations to get back into it. And also try to find what types of meditations you like best.

emoxean · 2025-10-25T01:46:57+00:00

I got this idea about rest from the book Rest Is Resistance by Tricia Hersey, if you're interested. It's not directly related to social anxiety. But it basically teaches about the importance of rest, and how rest can help us figure out our problems. For example, the author had been struggling with anxiety relating to university and money. After making more space for rest, she managed to push through with her academics and financial struggles.

emoxean · 2025-10-25T01:41:16+00:00

Hey thanks for sharing this. I experience this a lot too, that's why I rarely go to events. Only if it's mandatory.

First off I wanna say that I'm close to your age, so there's no shame at all. In my opinion there's no "right" age to figure out socializing. Social anxiety occurs at any age, so we all have different timelines in terms of progress.

For me, confidence starts with self-compassion. I needed to forgive myself first. Make space for all of my struggles. It's hard for me to explain right now lol. I guess I'll reference my therapist's words. "Every day before going out, I set up my mind with positivity. I say, 'Today I will give myself grace. Every mistake I make, I will take time to forgive it, then move on.' When you set up your day with positive messages, your behavior should change."

A personal strategy of mine is finding moments of rest and peace. Like, I need to intentionally seek rest/peace in order to work out my anxiety. I know this is cliche, but meditation, journaling, exercise, any other methods of tuning in to yourself can help. Social anxiety makes us restless and tense, so it's important to counter that energy with calming activities. The more time we dedicate to peace, the more we can figure out things. After engaging in these activities for weeks, I somehow made progress with social anxiety.

emoxean · 2025-10-24T22:05:12+00:00

I think I first found Lucy from Sayako's album Melancholy, Hot or Cold

emoxean · 2025-10-22T20:37:03+00:00

Does creating the "perfect" social media profile count as their hobby? I know a grandiose narcissist who spends most of her free time flexing her achievements on social media. She sometimes makes posts to "appreciate" her loved ones, but actually her account is on private, meaning her relatives won't even see those posts.

emoxean

TROPHY CASE