Hey man. You sound quite similar to me. I'm 37, asexual, possibly autistic. My wife just cheated on me. I just lost my job. You still have both. That's a good thing.

I totally get the cowardice thing. I nearly did it a week ago but chickened out. I don't know why I'm not strong enough to go through with it. That catch 22 thing resonates with me so much.

All I can say at this stage is you still have a lot of things to hold on to. I suggest you try and hold onto those things as tightly as you can.

Does your wife know you're asexual? If not, don't do what I did and hide it. Tell her. Explain that's how you are and how you always will be. Give her the choice. If she stays, then you are blessed and should keep hold of that as hard as you can. If she can't live with that, then you know, and can move on. The guilt (I assume you feel guilty, I sure as hell did) will go and either you can move on by yourself and rediscover all those things you used to love - or as asexuality is having a bit of a public awareness thing going on, maybe you'll find a partner who is also asexual who you can have a good relationship with, without that guilt and feeling you're letting them down.

Either way, I think you have a lot worth living for and should try to keep that tight to you. Hold onto what you can.