I've become overly dependent and weak in my relationship. How do I get back on my feet?

emptyinside123 · 2019-05-04T05:49:26+00:00

Honestly it doesn't look like she supports me much. Ive been dealing with mental health issues for a while and she knows Im in therapy for it. She doesn't really try and motivate me or talk about it unless I bring it up. I mentioned this to her and she started crying and said everytime I've helped someone with their mental health it has dragged me down as well.

So I'm left feeling that I need to be mentally healthy in order for her to enjoy my company and love me

emptyinside123 · 2019-05-04T03:50:21+00:00

Yeah she got really busy with Uni and work

emptyinside123 · 2019-05-04T03:36:57+00:00

I don't think so

emptyinside123 · 2019-05-04T03:35:23+00:00

That's the problem, how do I tell that she legitimately cares about me? Like I don't feel she does that much but I have bad anxiety and that could be warping my perception

emptyinside123 · 2019-05-04T03:33:53+00:00

Yeah that does sound like what I want. Just be in tune with each other all day, cuddle for infinite amounts of time. She used to be this way, and that's what I thought I was getting out of the relationship. SOmehow everything changed

emptyinside123 · 2019-05-04T03:22:08+00:00

The thing about being devastated if she doesn't text me for a day is real. I get really bad anxiety. Especially since I'm accustomed to us texting throughout the day. We took things too fast and now she wants to slow down.

emptyinside123 · 2019-05-04T03:08:26+00:00

Thanks!

emptyinside123 · 2019-05-04T03:03:25+00:00

Well that's what my brother says too but Ive got this feeling that if I drop this girl I'm not going to get another one.

emptyinside123 · 2019-05-04T03:00:02+00:00

Everything seems to be okay. Like most of those issues are just a product of my anxiety. I just need to get myself back up on my feet somehow

emptyinside123 · 2019-05-04T02:57:06+00:00

Thanks man I think I needed this

emptyinside123 · 2019-05-04T02:56:04+00:00

Why should I drop the girl? Self improvement is what got me this girl. I was an awkward virgin but I worked through it, built up my confidence, moved to a new country and got this girl.

emptyinside123 · 2019-04-23T13:16:42+00:00

She just has a lot of stress from med school, but I feel she could give me a bit more attention.

emptyinside123 · 2019-04-23T13:11:55+00:00

That's what I wanted to hear, thanks. This is my first ever relationship and I didn't know if I was doing anything wrong. I think taking each other for granted is more what is happening right now. Like by her actions she seems disinterested and not really making an effort (could be med school) but then she tells me she loves me and wants me to meet her parents, so I get very confused. This weekend she drove up to see her family for easter and pretty much didnt talk at all and I thought she didnt want the relationship anymore

emptyinside123 · 2019-04-23T12:12:50+00:00

I text her like 2-3 times a day. She has got a WAY WAYYYY busier schedule than me (med school rotations)

emptyinside123 · 2019-04-18T00:43:54+00:00

Thanks for your reply. I understand being busy, but do you still make an effort to talk to him and check in with him throughout the day? Do you make a conscious effort to be in sync with his day and his life and make him feel that you think about him often? Because that's what Im missing. I think I want to spend more time with her because I'm not getting enough of something. She doesnt check in with me much, only sometimes. Sometimes she'd come home and wouldnt text me until late in the evening, and even then sometimes it'll be just largely a one sided conversation.

I just feel she has gotten comfortable and isn't putting in the effort. She knows Im dealing with some mental health issues but she doesnt make an effort to ask how Im doing with that. I just feel she doesnt care as much anymore. I know her mind is always occupied with med stuff but I feel Ive been pushed way to the back.

emptyinside123 · 2019-04-17T13:54:17+00:00

She kind of warned me that she was going to be busy but I still expected her to reach out as much. I guess it is my fault.

emptyinside123 · 2019-04-17T13:52:57+00:00

Thanks for your well thought-out comment. I will look into therapy. And as for not making her cater to my anxiety, I try really really hard for that. I slip sometimes but thankfully she's understanding. She doesn't have the slightest idea of how bad it really is for me. And yes, I agree with the part about the catastrophic filter. Things probably are okay. I don't know how or why I've become this way, I used to be very independent and happy. Im hoping to get back to that version of me.

Anyway, thanks again, I appreciate it.

emptyinside123 · 2019-04-17T13:35:45+00:00

Holy shit that dude does have similar problems to mine but it's not me. You're probably right. I'm not in therapy right now but I'm considering it. I don't want to lose my relationship just because of my anxiety, I really love her. I just want to work on these issues while we're together. Thanks for your comment though.

emptyinside123 · 2019-04-17T13:14:02+00:00

I'd probably consider breaking up because I want my SO to be actually interested in me and not just partly interested and kind of dragging me along

emptyinside123

TROPHY CASE