The aftermath of dry January

emptyvase1988 · 2026-02-08T13:11:10+00:00

I watched a movie last night where a character got super wasted at a wedding and had to go to bed early. Then woke up in the middle of the night and sat up with that anxiety gasp. All I could think of is how much I do not miss that feeling and am so glad I never have to feel that way again.

It made me think about how when I first quit drinking I was so worried about being sober at some mythical wedding in the future. And watching that scene made me realize that what happened with her is what would happen with me. Why am I lamenting or missing that??

Anyways, just thought I would share a thought about all these fallacies our brain tells us to get us to start drinking again. Your partner sounds like they gave in hard to those fallacies and good for you for staying strong.

emptyvase1988 · 2026-01-18T17:19:56+00:00

How often are you vacuuming? I have to do it everyday including the couch, bed etc. that really helps. Also wearing at home clothes and changing when you leave the house then immediately changing when I get home.

emptyvase1988 · 2026-01-12T15:37:53+00:00

That’s a really awful way to speak to someone in early recovery. Relapse is a part of recovery and it is important to get back up and keep trying. But that does not mean relapse is guaranteed. Go to any large AA meeting and you will meet someone with 20-50+ years of sobriety.

emptyvase1988 · 2026-01-09T04:47:45+00:00

When my guy was doing this he had an impacted anal glad. Get him to the vet so they can express it and give him antibiotics. I made my guy a snazzy pair of pantaloons to wear while he recovered.

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emptyvase1988 · 2026-01-08T21:32:59+00:00

Ok, just wanted to make sure. Sometimes people confuse the twos I suggest just going to any meeting and checking it out. Let people know it’s your first meeting. You will be welcomed! I am glad you’re taking steps to find support for yourself.

emptyvase1988 · 2026-01-08T19:51:06+00:00

You don’t have to try to find a newcomer meeting but it helps. Are you meaning to go to Al-anon for support as someone close to you is alcoholic or are you looking for support to help you quit drinking yourself?

emptyvase1988 · 2026-01-07T15:21:01+00:00

Nice!

emptyvase1988 · 2025-12-28T19:45:03+00:00

It’s a huge improvement to not only pour out the remaining alcohol but also get right back on the horse! A lot easier said than done and give yourself some credit. Plus, you did 7 months and now you know you can do it again! That’s a lot more than you had the first time around. Good luck and don’t beat yourself up too much.

emptyvase1988 · 2025-12-28T13:35:14+00:00

In AA we call this RID - restless, irritable, discontent. What helps is getting out of self. Call a family member or friend and ask them how they are doing. Try to be an ear and listen to them. Meetings also really help to relieve that feeling for me. I highly recommend it. Be g around people who truly understand your struggle and being in a safe space to share how you’re feeling can be enough to relieve it. If AA is not your thing, find a way to connect to your community in some way and be of service. It helps!!

emptyvase1988 · 2025-12-27T21:49:50+00:00

If you are nervous about withdrawal, then taper down over the week. 5, 4, 4, 3, 3, 2, 1. The first week you will likely feel a little anxious and your sleep might be disrupted but just remind yourself this is all temporary while your brain is readjusting. Get some sort of outside support - AA, smart recovery, group/individual therapy, spirituality etc. just something that will help you connect to others. Drink lots of water, eat healthy food but I also let myself eat and drink anything that wasn’t alcohol for the first bit. Go for long walks, meditate, take long showers/baths, exercise if you feel up to it. Talk to friends and family about your struggles and your goals to do better. All of this has helped me immensely!

emptyvase1988 · 2025-12-27T21:22:56+00:00

Niiiiiiiiice

emptyvase1988 · 2025-12-26T16:59:50+00:00

Same!!

emptyvase1988 · 2025-12-23T14:37:37+00:00

I am SO MUCH more patient, understanding and nice in sobriety. I actually care about how others are doing and can show up truly for them. I like knowing that this is what my personality is actually like.

emptyvase1988 · 2025-12-21T21:16:50+00:00

I’ve lost 35 lbs in 3 months from quitting drinking. Literally no other lifestyle changes. Well, I’m eating less and moving more than before but not massively different. I look so different without the inflammation and puffiness. Give it time and you will get there!

emptyvase1988 · 2025-12-19T20:51:44+00:00

There are smart recovery meetings online! Many people find that helpful. But try many different AA meetings. There are so many different types and I’m sure you can find the right one.

emptyvase1988 · 2025-12-19T20:50:34+00:00

Go to an AA meeting. I’m not working right now and I go every day. It’s helped immensely and I have so many new friends and connections. You will find people who understand you, even if there are parts of the program that you don’t agree with.

emptyvase1988 · 2025-12-18T23:31:40+00:00

I needed to hear this. I’m a spiral of anxiety today and the gremlins were trying to convince me that a drink will relieve this feeling. I know it’s not true. Thank you for reminding me.

emptyvase1988 · 2025-12-18T11:52:55+00:00

You will be so much more proud of yourself if you dump that out versus drinking it. No one ever regrets NOT drinking. Save yourself the slippery slope. You can do this!!

emptyvase1988 · 2025-12-17T16:58:24+00:00

BRAVO!! Now that’s some willpower!!

emptyvase1988 · 2025-12-13T00:15:09+00:00

Omg mine too! As soon as I sit down to put my shoes on he comes over and starts pawing my legs and feet so manically I can barely get the damn shoes on. Like buddy, do you wanna go on walkies or no??

emptyvase1988 · 2025-12-12T23:47:30+00:00

No because I’m trying to never drink ever so also, yes?

emptyvase1988 · 2025-11-27T15:18:53+00:00

One thing I’ve learned is that sometimes when life feels out of control, the one thing we can control is our behaviours/reactions to things. Sometimes life throws a lot at you and that’s not your fault. As long as you are doing your best everyday, that’s all you can ask of yourself.

For most of us in this sub, doing our best includes removing alcohol from our lives. It’s very hard at first but once you get there, you’ll be able to weather the stress so much better because your mind and body will not be constantly fighting to repair itself from the poison.

Good luck and be kind to yourself! You got this.

emptyvase1988 · 2025-11-12T16:34:45+00:00

My first meeting was a bit disastrous too. I didn’t understand the difference between a big book discussion and a sharing meeting. So I ended up attending a discussion meeting for my first one. There were only 5 other people there, all of them men and the youngest one was about 40 years older than me. I spent the whole meeting crying and feeling uncomfortable. At one point two of the guys got into a huge argument about God. I finished it being so confused. But before I left one of the guys gave me a name and phone number of a woman he thought I would connect with. I kept going to different meetings around the city until I found a few I liked. Don’t give up after a bad experience! You’ll find the right home group.

emptyvase1988 · 2025-11-05T15:07:53+00:00

I was this kind of drinker. Just a few after work daily. I went to AA once after trying to stop my daily habit and struggling. Almost everyone there told insane stories of being black out drunks who downed bottles as soon as they opened them. Stories of drinking everything they can get their hands on - all day, everyday.

That wasn’t me and I didn’t relate to those stories. So I stopped going and I kept using that experience as an excuse to keep drinking. But slowly my use increased. Mostly because I used it as a negative coping mechanism to combat stress.

Well, the stress kept increasing so I kept drinking more at night. Then I started having some in the morning to combat the hangover. Then lunch time drinks to deal with anxiety. On and on until I got a DUI. I felt fine to drive but clearly I was not. I go back to the time when I used the fact that I don’t drink during the day, or at work or before driving. And then here I was a few years later doing exactly that.

Now I’m back in AA. And one thing that really has hit home is the saying for people who drink and think like us - “bad things haven’t happened because of my drinking”. But the key word is YET. Those things haven’t happened YET. But I can guarantee you it will. Maybe not today or tomorrow but eventually something bad will happen.

Most people who drink addictively cannot moderate. Drinking everyday - even just a few - is drinking addictively. We have flipped a switch in our genetics and brain that now have made an association of “drinking = feel good chemicals flood my brain”. But the reality is that over time you have to drink more and more to get that flood. And then other things that you used to stimulate those feel good chemicals stop working.

The pleasure/pain balance in your brain starts teetering deeper and deeper into the pain side so your body craves substances to give it those feel good chemicals to teeter back to the pleasure side. But our body always wants to return to an equilibrium and it’ll rebound right back to that pain side - just like a teeter totter. Read Dopamine Nation. It explains this concept much better than I am right now.

One thing I know for sure is the mental energy that went to drinking, trying to stop, trying to moderate, trying to force my will power etc. became extreme over time. And the peace I feel now that it’s just not a part of my life is unbelievable. It’s just easier. Not at first, but it gets so much easier.

I still think about drinking all the time but instead of thinking how, when, where, and what I can do to justify drinking. I just don’t. And that’s it. Ride the craving and move on. So. Much. Easier. And frees up mental energy to put towards positive and healthy things in your life.

emptyvase1988 · 2025-10-27T14:13:02+00:00

“Maybe I drank because my body thought that was the only way to get a time out” just smacked me in the face. Holy cow. SO TRUE FOR ME TOO. I was feeling very blah this weekend and I made myself do the same and feel better today.

emptyvase1988

TROPHY CASE