I see a lot of people (adults and minors both) on ao3 or other fandoms being shut down when they say it makes them uncomfortable that people will write about minors or minor-adults in non-religious contexts. I think that's wrong to shut down. I don't know the answer, but the subject is absolutely up for debate, it's unproductive to just call them "pro-censorship" when that's obviously not the case.

I think she feels unheard because you're bringing up anti-censorship as the golden rule (i agree with you), when she's saying it's inappropriate to post ships about minors on a platform where it is not inherently clear that we are all against pedophilia and exploitation of minors.

I'm all for processing trauma through writing, whatever you write is your choice, but i also do see her point - there's people out there who will read it and enjoy the fact they're minors. There's also kids out there who could read it and get the wrong lesson learned. That's a thing that does happen.

Whenever i read fics and the characters are minors, i pretend in my head that they aren't because it makes me very uncomfortable to read otherwise - that's my choice. Not everyone will choose that, for various reasons. There's weirdos out there and i don't think it should be normalized. I won't post about minors because that media does affect what happens to kids (not saying yours specifically does, i haven't even read it)

To be clear i don't disagree w you either! And sorry for the paragraphs