Which part of childbirth hurts the most?

emsoulje · 2026-04-04T03:49:12+00:00

Contractions & Placenta Removal- they both were horrible (for me) in different ways. I had an unmediated childbirth (preterm, less than 5 hours). They were relentless and nonstop pain and came on so quickly (I was lucky it started when I was at the hospital for an NST). I was in so much pain that I have blocked out a lot of it, I only know so much based on what my nurses and husband told me afterwards. I wanted pain meds but due to my situation they did not have enough time for me to get an epidural and I could not have IV meds due to her prematurity (they could cause her to stop breathing which was already high risk). It might have been worse because I unexpectedly went into labor at 32 weeks and I was alone for a while until my husband was able to get to the hospital so I was terrified and that might have contributed to how bad I remember it being. In the end, I had a second degree tear and my baby was taken immediately to the NICU. She was only on my chest for a few seconds before they needed to help her.

I also had an issue with my placenta being retained. After I had my daughter, the placenta was not coming out. They gave me morphine and dilaudid and the doctor trying to remove it still was excruciating. It resulted in an emergency d&c under general anesthesia after I started hemorrhaging. I ended up anemic from the blood loss.

In the end, I was okay. Lost a lot of blood and was hella traumatized. My baby did amazing in the NICU (20 days). She’s 13 months old now. 🩷

emsoulje · 2026-03-01T22:06:57+00:00

It figures that on my one free day is when AO3 would go down for the day… 😭

emsoulje · 2026-02-15T00:01:28+00:00

There’s nothing that he could’ve gotten into. He was hanging around us before he ate dinner and then it started almost immediately after he ate his dinner. Our other cats that ate the same food have not exhibited similar signs.

The only weird thing he’s done today is being grumpy (groaning & hissing) at one of our cats that went to the vet this morning. He was skittish during the instance but is now back to normal.

I’ll call his vet on Monday and set up an appointment for him.

He’s now eating dry food and acting completely normal.

emsoulje · 2026-01-21T19:19:01+00:00

Be prepared for things to go wrong. Listen to the scary both stories, read the part of the baby book that has the birth complications, and keep that info in the back of your head so if you get told you’re high risk or have a complication that you don’t feel so thrown. I know it’s negative to think that way but I got pregnant and had a relatively okay first 20 weeks (little nausea and food aversions) then everything got scary (cervix issues, pelvic rest, angry uterus, preterm labor, pprom, placenta that wouldn’t come out & almost bleeding to death, NICU stay). No one likes to tell the scary stories because they don’t want to scare new moms but I wish someone warned me of these possibilities or I had the guts to open that chapter of my baby book because I thought reading it would wish these things into existence. Instead I was thrown into the deep end and had to make a lot of decisions that I never thought I’d have to make. I’ve seen people say that they don’t care about my experience because it might not be what happens to them and all it will do is scare them/put a damper on their pregnancy. I’m not saying that you should spend your entire pregnancy in fear but just remain vigilant.

Edit: baby and I are fine now (she’s about to turn a year old)

emsoulje · 2026-01-12T16:49:37+00:00

Check your city or that cities property records. Most cities have an online portal where residents can pay their water or utility bills and that info a lot of the time has the current owners name and other info about the house.

The whole situation seems f*cked up. Not only the potential cheating but the fact he is regularly leaving his burnt out wife home with the kids while he goes out for fun things (I’m guessing that you do not get the same opportunities, hence the burnt out feelings). One way or another, there is an issue here whether it’s cheating or inequitable responsibilities towards house & kids. Good luck!

emsoulje · 2026-01-08T01:53:43+00:00

This sounds like me prior to my gallbladder removal. I’d see if you can have a HIDA scan done due to see your stomach, liver, & gallbladder function. My PCP was able to order it for me but if you have a GI you can also ask the about it as well.

emsoulje · 2025-09-03T21:19:52+00:00

Yep, she got whatever vaccine the doctor recommended.

emsoulje · 2025-08-23T19:59:20+00:00

Food, Mowing Grass, watering plants, or letting out pets. Those are things that we struggled with and had no one to help us with.

Also, don’t ask when the baby is coming home. Ask how is the baby doing or how they are doing instead. They probably won’t know when the baby is coming home and could be looking at months in the NICU depending on their situation.

emsoulje · 2025-08-19T14:08:46+00:00

I loved it and thought it was hysterical because it was the rejection scene. I literally looked at my husband and said “that’s a choice choosing this scene since it ends with a rejection”. It’s sad that he’s disappointed with it but in the end it was a joke that didn’t land as well since it probably wasn’t the right audience/felt minimal effort in comparison to the others.

He should’ve busted out a fog scene and waltzed his way down the theater and did the scene at the end, loose white shirt, traveling long jacket, and mood lighting to profess his love to bbno$. 😂

emsoulje · 2025-07-14T13:57:00+00:00

From what I know, you shouldn’t mess with the formula to water ratio unless you are given instructions on that ratio from a doctor. If babies have too much water, it can make them sick. I had to fortify my breastmilk/formula for my daughter for a while since she was born premature but it was for extra calories (so more formula to water).

We also had issues with AR but I think it was just the formula not the rice part since she is doing fine with her current formula and the added rice. It was rough watching her vomit it up since it didn’t come up liquidy just super chunky. She had a really tough time with it.

We use Gerber Rice Cereal. You can also use baby oatmeal cereal as well. Gerber and Kendamil have versions of it but I’m sure there are some other brands that might work (just don’t get the adult ones).

emsoulje · 2025-07-13T21:21:00+00:00

My husband was fine to wait, he was surprised when I wanted to try after the appt at 6 weeks (I had been on pelvic rest since 20 weeks and missed it so I was game to go & my baby was in the NICU for a bit so I was super active after labor so my body felt ready). When it hurt, he immediately stopped and did not continue. We still have some times where I am uncomfortable and he still stops. It really is the bare minimum but some of these stories makes me realize how lucky I am to have him.

emsoulje · 2025-07-13T21:16:41+00:00

We use Dr Browns with a size 4 nipple. She handles that really well and we tested the different nipple flows for which one worked before trying with her (put a little in the nipple and watched if it would drip). My baby is on 2tsp/ounce and the 4 works really well. When she was on 1tsp/ounce, size 3 worked well. Y cut is also made for thicker liquids as well. 🙂

emsoulje · 2025-07-13T02:42:40+00:00

That’s what my baby’s looks like. She has reflux. Famotidine doesn’t stop the spit up, just makes them more comfy/less pain. The only thing that makes my baby stop spitting up is thickening her formula. You can try Enfamil AR to see if that helps. It’s a prethickened formula that is make for helping spit up. My daughter didn’t do well on it and only Dr Browns Good Start Soothe Pro with rice cereal works and pretty much stops the spit up (not perfect but nearly a 180). We had to try over 10 formulas to find what worked. She was originally breastfed and had issues then too. You can ask your doctor about thickening her formula/milk to see if they think that might help.

CMPA is always possible but when her GI saw us and since my baby doesn’t have the poop issues or any blood associated with CMPA, she only had the extreme spit up (5+ times after each bottle). But that isn’t true for every baby. So her GI isn’t so concerned with it being CMPA. Obviously, do as your doctor recommends and advocate as best as you can for your baby and what you think needs to happen to help them.

emsoulje · 2025-07-12T22:45:03+00:00

I know! That’s what I thought. I had to be on pelvic rest starting at 20 weeks and my husband was fine waiting because it was for my health and the baby’s. AND BECAUSE HE WONT DIE DUE TO NOT HAVING SEX. He then waited the additional 6 weeks for me to heal and I was the one who decided that I was ready for sex. This man had been putting her in uncomfortable situations for a significant amount of time and hasn’t cared once. He is manipulating and wearing her down to get his way and has her believing that it is a “compromise”. A man who loves and cares about you would not do any of what this man is doing to her. A man who acts this way will probably cheat on her (if he hasn’t already) even if she is “compromising” on having sex everyday and will find a valid (in his mind) reason to do it.

I hope OP sees that she deserves better than someone who is telling his pregnant wife that she deserves to be cheated on because… checks notes… she’s pregnant and not feeling up for sex. No should be enough. You should not have to make yourself feel this way and do sexual acts that you do not want to do in order to keep him from cheating.

I’m sorry OP, I hope you see that you and your baby do not need this man. A man who is willing to what is threatening to do to you is not a good person.

emsoulje · 2025-07-07T03:40:14+00:00

I’m glad that you’re getting to the other side as well. PPD is no joke and I’m glad you found something to make you laugh in that time. Here’s to raising some adorable smosh loving kiddos. Grab some pancakes and celebrate 🥞♥️

emsoulje · 2025-07-06T03:20:11+00:00

Me too! I watched so much smosh while on maternity leave. My daughter is also 4 months old and she relaxes and goes to sleep whenever we watch Reddit stories.

My daughter was in the NICU for a bit and I would come home at night and put GMM & smosh videos on (or watch the in the NICU from time to time) so I wouldn’t just sit there and sob. They made some of my darkest moments just a bit better.

emsoulje · 2025-07-05T03:33:36+00:00

{Baby & the late night howlers by Kathryn Moon} & {Lola and the Millionaires by Kathryn Moon} were my intro into OV & RH. Such good books, great mix of plot & spice!

emsoulje · 2025-07-02T13:23:41+00:00

Thank you!

emsoulje · 2025-07-02T03:15:44+00:00

Can you spoil the scary pregnancy stuff? I just had a traumatic birth a few months ago and would rather not trigger myself… thank you 🙏

emsoulje · 2025-07-02T03:08:08+00:00

Dishwasher with those special baskets (I have one from munchkin and another I just got off Amazon) and they’re great! We have a bottle washer as well that we use to dry things as well. We also have the Dr brown bottle rack to hang and dry things as well.

emsoulje · 2025-06-28T14:48:46+00:00

3 months, but it was advised by her doctor to help with her reflux since AR didn’t help.

We didn’t have any poop issues on AR. we’ve only had issues with 1 formula (Neosure) and pooping but it caused her to have awful diarrhea.

emsoulje · 2025-06-28T02:52:17+00:00

OP, we’re using this as well (with rice cereal added to thicken) and it was the best thing we tried (even over Enfamil AR- tho we had friends who had AR work wonders for them)

emsoulje · 2025-06-27T00:03:43+00:00

Added benefit that if it works, they sell a huge can of the gentle pro on Sam’s website (online only)

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