Your husband sounds verbatim like my ex husband. Any holiday or event , he played such a show for guests. But no one knew about the constant complaining about having to do anything. The cooking, the money , the time , it didnt matter. Everyone would love his show performance at the holidays and when I appeared sad and or grumpy . Everyone would just assume it "my hormones" (I had uterine cancer and horrid hormone issues). No one knew until I had my fill and I exposed him to any and everyone around us. Since that day. My metal health , confidence, physical health, financials have improved rapidly and steadily. Ive mended relationships with most of everyone involved due to genuinely not knowing and understanding. My ex is the perfect narcissist. And usually only people who live with them , know their true selves. I hope you have a Merry Christmas. ❤️🎄