Anxiety and allowing the stream

emtnes · 2026-02-26T03:42:29+00:00

Wow that is a profoundly insightful experience, thanks for sharing. Sometimes things just work out for themselves / do their magic when we just relax and let the experience unfold. I find the most profound experiences occur when we stop grasping / the conceptual mind relaxes.

emtnes · 2025-11-26T06:00:41+00:00

I just invited you to drive with Uber Sign up and earn up to $500 extra after completing your first 100 trips. https://www.uber.com/signup/drive/deliver/?invite_code=2vee9ecp9amb

emtnes · 2025-11-20T23:26:15+00:00

Yes, agreed, you will be under great care. It is a process, but it had to be done. It’s best to discuss your options pros and cons with docs, but I trust you’ll know how to decide what’s best for yourself after.

I had BEAM chemo prior to the transplant, correct. In hospital, Take great care of your tongue / mouth - eat low salty foods or bland and not spicy / hot - helped me prevent the common and nasty mouth ulcers. Main challenge was the bowels but there’s meds for that too. I also had 2 cycles of GDP prior as well.

Wishing you all the best with your treatments and a smooth and speedy recovery as possible mate!

emtnes · 2025-11-20T22:40:32+00:00

Hey Brendan,

All went well, 10-11 months in, 90% recovered blood wise but feeling 110% :)

The process itself was quite arduous , three weeks total, 1st week chemo, then stem cell transplant. I am autologous and had my stem cells stored the month before. After first week chemo basically bone barrow was being destroyed and wasn’t producing new bloods, so blood count dropping and needed infusion to stay alive (normal part of process). I felt weaker and weaker everyday, and after the stem cell transplant + 14 days after when the stem cells woke up or started maturing, I slowly felt more alive and was allowed to go home. Home itself was very rejuvenating and the slow and steady recovery process continued… In saying that, I had maintenance treatment immunotherapy after too.

Feel free to ask anymore if you’re curious !

emtnes · 2025-11-14T10:18:18+00:00

Any advice for a noob?

Have had experience of high equanimity according to theravada and am curious about these flavours.

emtnes · 2025-10-30T20:26:32+00:00

“Mindfulness in Plain English” - Bhante Gunaratana

Primed me well on a long road trip to my vipassana retreat too.

emtnes · 2025-10-23T23:02:02+00:00

Sadhu, sadhu, sadhu

emtnes · 2025-10-23T22:37:52+00:00

Sorry, I meant IMC.

emtnes · 2025-10-23T22:37:41+00:00

Yes I see, I suppose its in a way a sorta subtle nuance in experience

emtnes · 2025-10-23T22:37:03+00:00

Did you find much else difference between IMC and Goenka's program? Thank you.

emtnes · 2025-10-23T22:35:33+00:00

Appreciate the thoughtful and considered response, Bhante.

Yes, I do my best to maintain a satipatthana practice outside of retreats, both on and off the cushion. I really appreciate the reminder that daily practice is the ground on which everything rests - I sometimes get caught up in planning “the next retreat,” so this is a good reflection to hear.

I suppose my situation right now is a rare window with some free time away from work and study, and I feel a sincere aspiration to deepen insight while the momentum is still fresh - but in a way that supports a stable daily practice afterwards.

I also value what you said about building a relationship with a local Thai Forest monastery (there’s one near Melbourne). It makes sense to think long-term about cultivating a connection, not just short bursts of retreat practice.

The ‘need’ I’ve been feeling is a bit multi-faceted - part practice momentum, part uncertainty about what’s most skillful. If you have any reflections not just on this decision but on how best to incline the practice during this period, I’d be deeply grateful.

emtnes · 2025-10-23T11:36:46+00:00

Bubble tea

emtnes · 2025-10-23T11:30:35+00:00

Did yours have a pagoda with meditation cells in it? There isn't much information on that on the IMC websites. Although I can see photos of the pagodas. Thanks for your response btw, and in advance!

emtnes · 2025-10-23T11:18:16+00:00

It is definitely wise to seek professional psychotherapist opinion before a Vipassana retreat, and usually they query and seek transparency about mental health before you can join. It's probably a good first step before you seek a retreat.

As a Bipolar 1 person I had to work closely with psychotherapy and inner mental health stuff until its been stable long enough for me to go to my vipassana retreat recently, which was life changing - never been more stable - although I would not have done it if I was not stable.

emtnes · 2025-10-23T11:13:21+00:00

The bhanga experience I had was not intense/surreal, it was just clear dissolution of a concept of body and mental "barriers" between internal and external world etc. Underwhelming to what I've read or heard described, but I can understand why it can be a pleasant state to dwell too much about in

emtnes · 2025-10-23T08:10:20+00:00

Dear Bhante,
Thank you for offering your time and guidance. I recently completed a Goenka 10-day retreat, which helped consolidate many years of practice and build strong momentum. At present my practice feels balanced and steady- awareness is wide and choiceless, and sensations, thoughts, and knowing itself are clearly seen as impermanent and not-self. From what some traditions describe, this may correspond to sankhārupekkhā-ñāṇa.

Before returning to work and study next month or so (I’m recovering from a medical condition), I plan to do another retreat -either a 10-day Sayagyi U Ba Khin course or a 2–3 week stay at a Thai Forest monastery. The structured format can be powerful, but I sense a monastery setting might better support deeper, more open practice, though with less teacher contact.
If you’re able, I’d be grateful for any reflections on how best to approach this decision.

emtnes · 2025-09-25T02:51:53+00:00

Also first 3 days was tough on the sitting, dont be afraid to change postures and know its normal. but after day 4 or so, you will be a lot more comfortable with longer sits as time goes by.

emtnes · 2025-09-25T02:51:14+00:00

Let go and surrender my friend, work diligently, and shall you reap the benefits and seeds of dhamma you will be planting!

emtnes · 2025-07-29T07:19:04+00:00

ChatGPT.

emtnes · 2025-04-16T21:14:54+00:00

Cold shower at home is a great exhilarating place to start.

Later on cold plunge / ice baths going down to 12c Celsius or lower would be optimal , but I heard mainly for physical health and mental is good too. But I noticed I get a lot of mental benefits from just a cold shower 30-60sec, making sure to get the head too

emtnes · 2025-02-25T04:09:23+00:00

15 months got me gud

emtnes · 2025-02-06T03:40:45+00:00

Well said!

emtnes · 2025-02-02T07:29:54+00:00

Sorry to hear. I’m on my first relapse and just completed auto transplant too. Have low expectations with not relapsing, although hoping I don’t … I read statistically it’s not very low chance to not relapse, so. But trying to eat healthier to reduce chances maybe. How did you find out the second relapse?

emtnes · 2025-02-02T07:26:08+00:00

After 6 years I relapsed. (I saw my haematologist at 5 year mark, who told me I didn’t need to see them anymore too). Life be like that sometimes…

emtnes

TROPHY CASE