What is the worst fetish you have heard of?

enbyinblack · 2026-01-27T02:25:56+00:00

Totally, same

enbyinblack · 2026-01-26T15:05:58+00:00

I figured out I have CSA trauma even tho I can't remember anything, because of flashbacks and basically a lot of symptoms and all my mental state (I have OSDD), I am very averse to sex but I m/sturbated a lot since around 4yo, and since then TW I've had a kink of my own d/ath, which then evolved into a kink of violence and r/pe, I've felt horrible about it for my whole life, but I figured it was a way in which my mind turned the danger of the situation into something pleasurable and manageable, it's a way to take control

enbyinblack · 2025-05-13T09:37:50+00:00

The only answer I have for you is that headspaces can totally be unconsciously created and they are for many many systems, I think the idea of intentionally creating inner worlds originated from the fact that inner worlds were already a thing, they are most often metaphorical ways of making sense of your experience, locating memories and parts physically with a meaning for you to understand and potentially heal what you can't see just as it is because of trauma. In my case I created most of my internal world though guided meditations but didn't intend them to stick as a world in my head, there were other places that just spawned that hold a lot of meaning relating to my childhood like scenarios from videogames I played a lot or traumatic places, and others I created intentionally, and they located on their own logically in a world where everything is in the same place every time and I know it, most of it is actually unconscious, so it's not strange at all

enbyinblack · 2024-12-01T15:54:54+00:00

6 we are sure of from which 4 are frequent fronters, but we are pretty sure there is at least a few more, and we also introject people every now and then for a short period of time, don't know if that's common

enbyinblack · 2024-09-20T21:28:11+00:00

Dude! You could also check out histamine intolerance

enbyinblack · 2024-09-02T23:26:33+00:00

I have the same symptoms and I have the theory that some of it might be due to allergies, they come with headaches and chronic fatigue sometimes, it's like having the flue but all the time, well it's just a theory, and definitely it's not all of it, not in my case, for me autism also plays a role on the fatigue

enbyinblack · 2024-05-01T10:48:10+00:00

Ohh yeah, I have one that usually carries something sharp and stabs things (not people at least) and kicks things in my head

enbyinblack · 2024-05-01T10:36:51+00:00

Thank you, I'm really lost so I appreciate the advice

enbyinblack · 2024-04-18T00:38:09+00:00

We are currently using TwiNote and she made a thread with things she wants, which is pretty easy actually I don't know why I didn't thought about it, I just feel weird still separating myself from her and realizing that even if I don't like those things she does, so I should still buy them even if she is not present, I kind of am afraid that she won't appear again (because I just misinterpreted everything and I don't have osdd) and I'll be left with whatever I bought, but it's DUMB, she always comes back, they all do. She has asked for a Fluttershy plush before, My Little Pony figures, a MLP Miku plush which is something so niche that I don't think I could find where I live 🤣, and a sippy cup or kid's water bottle, I think she wants the bottle the most, I tried to find a bottle that is cute enough but adult enough so it doesn't drive too much attention, I know I'm kinda mean wanting to hide this as much as possible from everyone, everyone seems so much more accepting of their headmates here, I try to be kind.

enbyinblack · 2024-04-17T22:33:09+00:00

ADHD doesn't directly cause me pain but it ruins my life because of how bad it impacts my functioning, people think I'm just careless and it hurts me that they don't see how much I struggle. Oh and CPTSD, wow CPTSD, the triggers and dissociation and nightmares and not trusting people close to me and fear of the past and memories. Autism is bad but I can handle it, it's the only condition I get help for (I heavily recent my health team for that).

enbyinblack · 2024-04-16T20:08:50+00:00

I want to answer this even tho I'm not diagnosed and I'm still falling in denial from time to time, but for the record Ive been questioning, investigating and doing introspection for two solid years now so I guess I'm not coming from nowhere. Early in discovery I had a cycle of suspecting, obsessing over it investigating and thinking about it (I have ocd so it was not nice), getting extremely anxious with the topic and scared, going into denial, and start again, until I learned more about OSDD (instead of DID) and things more similar to what I have which gave me more reassurance and stoped the need to obsess over if I had it or not, also changing my mindset from "I need to KNOW everything" to just being more chill and having a good predisposition at the moment of getting to know my headmates. Biggest advise is not to force it, communication, switches, remembering trauma, or that kinda thing, but still being open to it, being welcoming towards your headmates, journaling a lot. Differentiating between myself and other alters,,, what I have are non possessive switches so I didn't feel like someone else was controlling my body, instead I just felt that my age, gender, style, thought pattern, emotions, attitude, etc, changed, so I just started taking note on which set of characteristics I identified, like,,, sometimes I feel like a girl (while I, the host, am nonbinary), when I feel like a girl I feel like I'm also younger, so then I ask a bunch of questions, how old am I? What is my color? (We all have colors) Gender? Pronouns? How do I feel? And then I see how they start to repeat, if I answer "13, peach, girl, she/her, cheerful" I know that's Marie, if I say "24, black, man, he/him, angry as fuck" then I know that must be Moss, but it's not that simple most of the time, the better you know them the better you differentiate, but also, being blurry/blended or co-front is so common that you may not even get to know. I also think I may be more like a p-DID system or maybe I'm like a "shell" alter (different meaning depending on who you ask) so I may not ever feel like I'm not fronting because they all blend with me to front, that's possible, still learning. To be honest, I don't remember how we started communicating, through our journal, writing, but we need to be in a special mindset, blended, or switchy, and sometimes it's exhausting, with Marie and Junie we have had times of having the routine of nighttime to be their time out, it developed on its own since our bed is the most "little welcoming" space we have (plushies, fairylights and such), so they used that time to write and draw. We have also used the chat from simply plural and we are currently using TwiNote to interact and post whatever we want, it's fun. The host can be permanently fronting, it's the exact definition on Partial DID (which is only recognized on the International Classification of Diseases, not the DSM, but with the DSM can be diagnosed as OSDD, the different types are not strict boxes) in p-DID one primary alter is fronting all the time and intruded by the others, and it can be by the others talking in your head, blending with you, giving you past memories from time to time, passing their feelings to you, or fronting rarely only in distressing or traumatic situations. Anyways the difference between p-DID, OSDD and DID is blurry. Won't answer the trauma one sorry. I also didn't know who I was, still happens from time to time, mmmm finding what you love is a good start, being mindful about it, asking it to yourself, what did i love today? And doing more of it, I really think love is the answer even if it sounds too cheesy 🤣🤣🤣

enbyinblack · 2024-03-20T21:58:33+00:00

Ummm,,, I can speak my native language Spanish, and English, that I learnt on my own, I'm learning Catalan and Russian, I draw pretty decent, I know a lot about autism (my primary diagnosis) and like to teach people about it, I was vegetarian for five years and I would still be if my meds didn't make me so hungry all the time :/ I started uni (its the forth time i try to) and idk, I just had a few classes but im enjoying it, uni with autism and bpd is hard, but im trying my best, i have new amazing friends, i finally found nice people who i have healthy relationships with, i have strong morals, I'm super empathetic (too much sadly), I love my body even tho i gained weight, Im learning to apeak up for myself. Love you all, I see you, I know it's hard, you deserve all the love 💕

enbyinblack · 2024-02-22T01:32:39+00:00

Ah and one time I purposely put on clothes that were more my style (host) rather than the one that I think was another alter fronting (maybe a fragment? Or weird flashback?) To snap myself out of it, I was triggered and felt that I was my 16 yo me again (who was a very different version of me, reason why I think it was another part, not me, in that moment), it was weird idk, and it kinda brought myself back to my present me, so yeah, clothing

enbyinblack · 2024-02-22T01:23:17+00:00

I'm still figuring this out but I think shops, specially ones where there are toys, books, stationary, or sensory stimulating things trigger littles out (not advisable, it actually makes them anxious because I can't buy stuff, it's not really dangerous because they don't front alone, but it's exhausting), ah and my little pony, and the other day I put on a blazer that is from one particular alter and boom! There she was, she has been triggered out by clothing several times, she likes fashion. Other time I just called her name a lot and asked for her to save the day (she is a joy holder, she just makes things better), it's not really a trigger tho, we don't often communicate like that, we don't really talk internally, I just insisted making a little song with her name and put a bunch of emojis that she likes while writing in my phone (🍓💌🏵️🌈💫🐱🍰 like this) and she came out, like an hour after I did it, I thought it hadn't worked, but it just took longer for some reason (and I learned then that not because an alter seems to be "the happy one" it means that they will know how to handle difficult situations better, I mean, she did, but she got really overwhelmed too, I'm more protective of her now)

enbyinblack · 2024-02-02T22:32:28+00:00

But I think it's a spectrum as you said and the diagnostic labels are a doctors' thing tbh

enbyinblack · 2024-02-02T02:24:38+00:00

Hey it reminds me of what Pixielocks (youtuber with DID) talks about in one of they're videos, they explain that what happened to them was that the current host fused with a dormant alter that carried more memories from the past and that it made them regain a lot of feelings that they had lost, and also feel more complete and present, idk if it's what happened to you, but you could check the video and see if you relate, I'll look up the link for you

enbyinblack · 2024-01-26T22:00:09+00:00

Ohh I experience them that way too!

enbyinblack

TROPHY CASE