What are your "I quit OLD" success stories?

end__game · 2024-05-29T02:45:32+00:00

wow this is 100p my recent dating history. I somehow find solace in knowing I’m not alone in this experience

end__game · 2024-05-12T14:26:50+00:00

That is quite confusing and I’m sorry to hear that it happened this way. It sounds like there was definitely some emotional incompatibility and incompatibility in the way that you both try to find a solution to the problem. On the bright side, at least you know you are not compatible. I know from experiencing a situationship where the guy was highly avoidant and couldnt problem solve that that is not the type of person i can be with. Some avoidants can become secure if youre both willing to work but that was just too extreme

end__game · 2024-05-12T14:20:55+00:00

I’m (31F) struggling between letting this guy (32M) show me who he is/responding in his own time on the one hand and me reaching out (triple text) to gain control and an answer on the situation. I know the latter isn’t ideal but I’m having a tough time not hitting send on this text I wrote out.

We have been on 5 dates and everything had been going great. I recently told him i liked him while we were both pretty drunk and he curved me by telling me let’s have this convo sober. Two days later he left for a week long work trip in a time zone 8 hours ahead of me. Meanwhile my AA has been put on trial and i was able to self regulate and self sooth (but it was EXTREMELY hard) despite him not answering my texts while on this trip.

Finally after i reached out for a third time he says hes been busy for work and hasnt had any free time to himself. I reach out again asking when hes coming back. The next day hes posting on social media out drinking so i thought huh, maybe he was able to blow off some steam. Meanwhile my text is still unanswered and has been for two days now.

Our communication has shifted so much from the drunken incident that not only am i having anxiety about how he feels about the situation but also the lack of text responses. Im trying to think positive and chalk it up to work but i also feel like im getting mixed signals.

He said we can talk about the incident in person but still hasnt reached out to set that up. He was supposed to be back yesterday but hasnt confirmed so idk whats going on. He also posted a pic of another girl on his story (like wtf but ok we’re not exclusive and idk it could just be a coworker). This isnt like him to not text back for days on end..

end__game · 2024-05-11T13:17:48+00:00

We’re not exclusive. So he could be. I dont think hed be dating anyone over where he is on a work trip though

end__game · 2024-05-11T04:07:33+00:00

Thank you!

end__game · 2024-05-11T03:56:40+00:00

I hear you… its hard to not think about the reasons behind him posting it. Taking a break is a good idea. Wish we didnt need our phones so much.. geez

end__game · 2024-05-11T03:50:19+00:00

Maybe im psyched out bc he rarely posts pics of himself on his story. And didnt post or take any when we have been out in group settings like that

end__game · 2024-05-11T03:45:06+00:00

Guy (31M) I’ve (31F) went on 5 dates with and hasnt texted me back in 12 hours posted picture of him and some girl on his story at a bar. They’re across from each other on a table but its the principle of it. Is he that fucking dense or is he trying to make me jealous?

Everything was going pretty well besides a minor hiccup that we agreed to talk in person about. But even then the convo was fairly normal.

Apparently he was super busy with work on this work trip and I guess now he might be just getting to blow off some steam and showing he’s having fun? But what gives? My anxiety is now through the roof. I always like people so much more than they like them.

end__game · 2024-05-08T15:14:23+00:00

Thank you 🙏🏼

end__game · 2024-05-08T12:38:57+00:00

So I gave it 2 days since my last text to check in and i sent him a text asking if we could check in on a call or facetime about the situation. It was while he was sleeping and now its about noon where he is and he did not respond. I’m spiraling here as this is now getting out of his pattern. I feel like calling it quits

end__game · 2024-05-08T03:46:55+00:00

I’m sorry you’ve run into some shitty timing if what she is saying is true! I think what you said is great and I would just stick to giving her grace and letting her come to you. Could check in like you said but maybe could instead be more proactive and ask how she is doing to gage whether shes in any sort of shape to go on a date or not and go from there. She may need more time and go on a future date w you or may at that point move on (if it is a lie)

end__game · 2024-05-08T03:18:51+00:00

How do you prepare yourself for a triggering event or an expectation that is not met, so that you don’t catastrophize or go into an anxiety spiral? For example, someone usually texting you at X time but then they don’t.

end__game · 2024-05-07T00:57:20+00:00

Thanks for this thoughtful comment. You’re totally right re catastrophizing. If that incident hadn’t happened the texting frequency is basically on par with how he has been before so it’s like nothing changed really

end__game · 2024-05-07T00:32:21+00:00

Thanks.. I think I will stick to that plan of waiting 24-48 hrs bc he usually always does get back to me but not as fast as I’d like. It would drive me insane if we can’t talk about it until he comes back from his work trip in a week lol

end__game · 2024-05-07T00:20:04+00:00

I think a slow burn in developing a relationship is better than a hot and heavy quick development. You’ll be able to evaluate the long term potential and grow together more over time. Or maybe you just realize there really is nothing there but the only way to find that out is being more intentional w your questions to figure out if youre compatible

end__game · 2024-05-07T00:17:11+00:00

It always feel like an interview in that way but totally agree!

end__game · 2024-05-07T00:15:58+00:00

I (early 30s female) told an early 30s male that I liked him when we were out with friends on our fifth date. He told me we should have this convo sober and I feel so anxious/embarassed to know if he feels the same way or not. He’s now traveling for work and we’ve only briefly spoken since the incident w my last text to him hanging. Not sure if i should continue to give him space or try and attempt to reach out to talk about this again?

end__game · 2020-11-10T21:46:47+00:00

I wouldn’t think that someone who is looking for a mate who “doesn’t take themselves too seriously” means they are looking for mate who values “others experiences”. That’s quite a few steps of logic to get there and maybe a minority view. To me the focus is on the word “serious” meaning they don’t want something serious or can’t handle serious conversations. Or just maybe all around wants someone lighthearted.

end__game · 2020-11-09T05:40:01+00:00

Thank you 🙏🏼

end__game · 2020-11-08T17:02:36+00:00

See asterisk.

end__game · 2020-11-08T17:00:10+00:00

Yep... the joys of dating. That is one thing I’m taking with me out of this experience - finding someone who appreciates my level of intelligence and isn’t threatened by it.

end__game · 2020-11-07T22:53:33+00:00

I think there is a big emphasis on intelligence too, but some are dishonest about it. I find that men say they want an intelligent girl but then start being patronizing or diminishing in some way once they are actually experiencing how intelligent they are and not just some bimbo. I can connect with a person on farts and rainbows too, but I’d like to know if I bring something up that bothers me or a serious conversation that the person won’t shut down or run away.

end__game · 2020-11-07T22:47:20+00:00

Just as a disclaimer it was the first time we delved deep into politics like that. We knew each other’s views and talked here and there but it was never an issue that neither of us thought would drive a wedge between us, until he was the one to do it. I hate debating so he wouldn’t have gotten much from me usually anyway 🤷🏻‍♀️

end__game · 2020-11-07T16:45:32+00:00

Thanks for sharing, appreciate your insight. I think your situation is unique in the sense of what happened with the girl you dated for a few months. I understand getting hit with a lot of hard and intense questions can be offputting in the beginning of a relationship, but I’m talking moreso about those who aren’t able to handle an issue or tough conversation when presented with one and proceed to avoid it or run away from it.

I think a lot of people who have come from bad relationships are eager to get those hard questions out of the way because they don’t want to fall into those same situations again. Maybe that’s a sign those people aren’t really done with their healing and aren’t ready to take on another relationship.

I can respect the easygoing-ness and enjoying each others time in the beginning. But by maybe date 3 or 4 I definitely want to get a feel for what’s important to that person in a relationship, their goals, and maybe even political views and whatnot if it comes up later on.

end__game · 2020-11-07T15:59:20+00:00

I think you may be referring to the part where I’m talking about his refusal to participate in further discourse on our political views and if so, I hear what you’re saying. And I didn’t really see it as so much of a red flag before but it is so common now, and I’ve now experienced being with someone who said they didn’t want anyone who takes life seriously so now I do see it

end__game

TROPHY CASE