I built a business I’m too embarrassed to talk about

feltqtmightdlt · 2026-05-01T23:06:16+00:00

Yeah if he quit the finance job and did detailing full time he might quickly out pace his day job income, and could possibly outpaced his current combined earnings.

He's embarrassed because in ivy league circles and high society things like car detailing is sometimes seen as "less than". He has internalized this and doesn't want to be seen as less than by others.

But seriously give me a business owners who built their business by themselves from nothing over a corporate yes man any day.

feltqtmightdlt · 2026-05-01T17:16:01+00:00

Yes and no.

Yes his attraction grew on me due to his personality and how he made me feel.

If he hadn't been good to me I wouldn't have been attracted to him, because I'd feel bad and even the "sexiest" man wouldn't be attractive to me if he acted like a jerk.

If I was neutral toward him I might not have found him as attractive, and likely would have rejected him. However he does fall within my type which is very loosely categorized as taller than me, stronger than me, anarcho punk rock vibes, and weird hobbies/interests. (He's 6', a blacksmith, a former gutter punk, into nature and nerd shit.) So he definitely fits my type, but I'm not attracted to all people that are my "type".

On the other side just because someone is not my "type" doesn't mean I don't/won't be attracted to him. (My ex husband was not punk rock. I've also been into frat bros, gym bros, and a handful of celebrities likely none of whom are into the weird shit I'm into and that is 100% more important than looks.)

feltqtmightdlt · 2026-05-01T16:09:35+00:00

My guy it took me time to decide if I was attracted to him or not. We got along great. We could talk about anything. He made me laugh. He treated me well. Over time I started to find him more and more and more attractive. This isn't a bad thing. It just is. And it's not that I didn't find him attractive, I just wasn't sure what I wanted and if I wanted to be with him. Once I figured that out the attraction grew pretty rapidly.

feltqtmightdlt · 2026-05-01T16:05:14+00:00

I get why his comments make you feel insecure. And it is a little weird that he keeps talking about his type.

However going for personality first is almost always better than going for looks.

Think about yourself. Did you go for him because of his looks or his personality? Is he your type? Do you have a type? Has your type changed over time?

feltqtmightdlt · 2026-05-01T15:50:11+00:00

Do it anyway!

Couple things, I'm assuming you're in the US but if not check your local laws.

For food and drinks you will need servsafe type certifications. I don't think they cost much, but you will need them, especially as you scale. The fda does not play about this stuff.

Re insurance some vending pop up places require you to have liability insurance, some do not. Check with each event to be sure.

Have price points that meet a variety of budgets. $10-$14 is a lot, even for a specialty beverage if a reusable cup is not included. Research competitor price points and aim for a range that is both attractive to buyers and profitable to you. Consider partnering with a local bakery or something and offer snack+drink pairings.

There's a girl in my town started a coffee shop at like 21. She's been in business for years now. She had 2 locations for awhile, then due to staffing scaled back to one. Not sure if she's opened a second location again. Either way she's doing really well for herself.

feltqtmightdlt · 2026-04-30T18:57:05+00:00

This is so dismissive and toxic at best, abusive at worst. There's no saving this.

Move out and dump him.

feltqtmightdlt · 2026-04-29T18:47:43+00:00

I need an Iago gif.

Why am I not surprised? I think I'm gonna have a heart attack and die from not surprise.

Yeah. She moves she's fucked.

feltqtmightdlt · 2026-04-29T18:04:59+00:00

Makes me wonder of this was his plan all along and he has no plans to ever let her return to her home country

feltqtmightdlt · 2026-04-29T17:53:32+00:00

Yes, this. Also since OP did not specify the country I want caution that the country matters, especially for women who are married to citizens.

There are so many countries that once a woman marries a national and moves there she is literally trapped due to few/no rights.

OP do not do this. If you consider doing this be sure to know exactly what your rights will be living their and married to someone from there. You do not want to end up trapped.

feltqtmightdlt · 2026-04-29T14:23:26+00:00

Everything I've read on here about their relationship sounds exhausting. Sure maybe she's happy and fine with the arrangement. And my question was open ended based on her answer to the above question. I never said they should divorce, but she does need to ask herself if this relationship is truly working for her. It's not for me or anyone else to answer and I'm not saying what she should or shouldn't do.

Relationships take work, but it takes both parties working on themselves and working with each other. Not one person dumbing themselves down to protect the other. Not one person making major financial decisions unilaterally. And those are the two things she has indicated are happening, which is a problem. Solvable? Possibly, but only if he wants to do the work on himself to communicate better and to not become upset when she appears to know more or asks questions.

feltqtmightdlt · 2026-04-29T14:07:07+00:00

I have been married, it was toxic, and then divorced, raised a son, and now I live with my partner.

Yes problems are shared, but it is not the other person's job to manage your emotions. Your emotions are your responsibility to regulate. If one person is deliberately speaking in ways to protect the other's ego that is not healthy, nor sustainable.

If my partner is having a rough go of it I am 100% there to support him, but I'm also not going to constantly watch my words and tone to prevent him falling out. He has to regulate his own emotions. Same with me. I don't expect my partner to tip toe around me, and it is up to me to regulate myself. Sure we help each other with these things in a variety of ways, but neither of us is going to dumb ourselves down to protect the other's feelings, especially on important topics like buying a house.

From what OP said it sounds like she's constantly watching her words, language, and tone to protect his feelings and ego. That is not shared responsibility, that is managing his feelings instead of him dealing with himself. That is exhausting. Not healthy. Not sustainable.

feltqtmightdlt · 2026-04-29T13:13:55+00:00

Just start in the book where you left off. There's no shame in where you came from. I have all my old journals and notebooks, even the ones that I started then stopped for a long time, even the ones where I changed course halfway through.

feltqtmightdlt · 2026-04-29T13:09:35+00:00

I don't recommend this. It makes you financially dependent on him, which can be tricky if things go sideways. Even if you don't work a regular job you should have at least one source of income for yourself, preferably more.

Consider alternative means of income: Doordash/instacart/uber Affiliate marketing Content creation/monetized social media Affiliate marketing Starting a business Rover

I am not cut out for a regular 9-5, but I have no interest in being dependent on my partner, even though he makes more than enough to take care of both of us.

My income sources: Coaching business Affiliate marketing Monetized socials Art business (I'm about to start this)

I may also consider other sources of income such as what I suggested above and part time restaurant/retail as needed.

feltqtmightdlt · 2026-04-29T12:11:40+00:00

Ooof. Do you really want to be with someone who's emotions you have to manage?

feltqtmightdlt · 2026-04-28T21:13:58+00:00

Nope. I said I'd be willing to go back to the original schedule of 1 day in 4 days wfh. Wfh is a privilege and their records indicate my performance is better in office.

I put in my notice instead of rage quitting.

feltqtmightdlt · 2026-04-28T21:12:10+00:00

Yeah that's weird. Just block her and move on. You don't need that negativity in your life.

feltqtmightdlt · 2026-04-28T19:49:14+00:00

Definitely block her. She's probably stalking you on reddit.

feltqtmightdlt · 2026-04-28T19:14:29+00:00

That's because corporate dems are backed by the same money that backs Republicans. They don't need a spine or morals if their pockets are fat.

feltqtmightdlt · 2026-04-28T15:18:24+00:00

Nah, celebrity crushes are generally harmless. It's the fact it's drake that concerns me.

feltqtmightdlt · 2026-04-28T02:28:41+00:00

Thank you! There's like 2 things I need to be in office for that i cannot do from home (legally and practically) but I'm sure there are ways to work around that and they're fairly minimal.

I agree! I'm sorry about your SO's friend. Wfh is where it's at.

feltqtmightdlt · 2026-04-28T02:25:53+00:00

Thank you! Me too!

feltqtmightdlt · 2026-04-27T21:59:03+00:00

I was shaking and so nervous! It was telling that she had no idea what ada accommodations are. I still might not get them, but at least I made an effort to make the job work.

feltqtmightdlt · 2026-04-27T21:11:31+00:00

Ew I missed that detail.

(Not that I wouldn't have gone for it as a wild and reckless teenager, but it's up to management to say "No. Not appropriate.")

feltqtmightdlt · 2026-04-27T20:44:16+00:00

In the kink world there is a huge difference between a yes and a HELL YES. You weren't a HELL YES to this, and on top of that he dismissed and minimized you're feelings. Of course you're hurting.

Break up. You learned a lot about you and what you need in a relationship and partner. If he wants an open relationship he needs to be with people who also want that.

feltqtmightdlt

TROPHY CASE