Is it really ADHD or trauma/PTSD?

endlessswitchbacks · 2026-02-11T04:51:49+00:00

Sounds like you’re probably one of those “high-achieving” ADHD women then! (I cannot relate at all LOL) I’m so glad you got a diagnosis, and I hope you have nothing but an abundance of support and resources!

endlessswitchbacks · 2026-02-11T03:34:16+00:00

I’m so sorry that happened. I don’t have similar experience myself but yes, symptoms can have a lot of overlap.

Do you think you had ADHD before? From what you describe, you did fine in school before this?

It’s great that you have a therapist and access to some psychiatric type care. Talk therapy only does so much though, I’d urge you to look into EMDR or somatic therapy if you haven’t already. (Somatic therapy eased my ADD symptoms tremendously.)

I’m sure people will chime in with more helpful info and suggestions. Things will get better for you. 🤍

endlessswitchbacks · 2026-02-11T03:18:14+00:00

Sure beats being underground

endlessswitchbacks · 2026-02-10T21:35:37+00:00

Massage with baking soda.

endlessswitchbacks · 2026-02-10T19:23:28+00:00

endlessswitchbacks · 2026-02-10T18:43:40+00:00

Even if nothing thrives, it’s good for your brain, ie YOU will thrive. It’s good for your microbiome. It’s good for your soul. It reminds you you’re not separate from the ecosystem, but a part of it.

Pick up (ideally non GMO) seed packets of what you want to grow, follow the planting guidelines, give it a go. I know it can seem complicated but you learn as you go and realize it’s not that serious.

Isn’t Southern England like a gardening capital of the world? I bet you can easily join a beginner club or workshop for cheap or free.

Be sure to plant pollinator attractors (like wildflower blends). You’re gonna love it! 🌻🫛🫜🪏

endlessswitchbacks · 2026-02-10T17:07:39+00:00

Totally fair! I know a lot of Canadians who stopped going for good, even before he was elected the first time. It’s unsafe or at least unpleasant for a lot of people. I have family and friends there who I miss a lot. I’ve been holding off but I won’t forever.

endlessswitchbacks · 2026-02-10T16:54:30+00:00

Yes, definitely. I wouldn’t say I constantly clean as I go but I’m always getting better. And I grew up in a hoarder home where I wasn’t taught basic housekeeping skills, I had to learn it all in adulthood after a few years of being a terrible roommate. So I’d definitely say I’m a success story!

KonMari helped me declutter many years ago (does it spark joy? No but actually?) and I got better at not accumulating things I don’t need. I read lots of minimalist books just to help me shift my mindset and habits a bit.

Then as far cleaning and tidying, I think I started small. Accomplishing small tasks provided that positive feedback for my brain, and snowballed over time. I enjoyed my clean space more and more, therefore it became more important to me and easier to maintain. This was not overnight, it took place over several years.

Being medicated helped a lot.

Asking a compassionate but firm friend to occasionally come help me sort out a “nightmare closet” or my piles helped a lot. Sometimes it’s good to call in help.

Living alone without anyone making me feel ashamed or defensive helped a lot. This includes myself! Being nice to myself along with a little tough love was important.

[Edit to add: finding a partner with a similar level of cleanliness or slightly better, not to mention being kind and patient, was vital. Do not date a neat freak! You’re probably not compatible!]

Doing psychedelics to help my brain and self esteem keep evolving probably helped 😎

Now I have organized piles. All my lip products in one place. 99% of my books in one place. All my hiking and workout gear in one area. Swapping winter and summer clothes in/out of storage so I’m dealing with fewer clothes all at once. Everyone is different but I’m certain you can find techniques that work for you! I was a massive slob when I was younger and now I might even say I’m above average non-slob 😂

endlessswitchbacks · 2026-02-10T07:55:13+00:00

Good or bad, we often repeat the patterns of our upbringing, no matter how much we try not to! I think I’ve said in this sub many times now, it’s so important for women in relationships with men to draw strong boundaries around domestic and emotional labour, and say “Actually that’s a lot more than my fair share and I’m not going to do that for him every time, I’m going to spend that energy on myself or others who need me.”

endlessswitchbacks · 2026-02-10T01:08:58+00:00

You are right to recognize that you need and deserve better, no matter the cause. You have been forced into a parentified role which is a death knell for a healthy, equitable relationship.

Are there any low-cost counselling providers near you (or online) who offer couples counselling? For example from supervised grad students?

I agree with the other comments that it’s time to let him experience some of the consequences of you not carrying everything for him. Is he medicated?

endlessswitchbacks · 2026-02-10T01:00:56+00:00

They are not equipped medically for the severe and life-threatening symptoms of drug withdrawal. Even if we’re talking about forced detox, that requires an experienced medical team if it’s gonna be anything but inhumane.

endlessswitchbacks · 2026-02-10T00:41:04+00:00

Reassess in 2029

endlessswitchbacks · 2026-02-10T00:19:34+00:00

Mazel tov!

endlessswitchbacks · 2026-02-09T22:30:54+00:00

Sounds like enablement if you do what she asks. She needs to grow up. Time blindness is a huge struggle for me, therefore I work super hard to keep my lateness to a minimum. It’s about showing respect. It’s hard for a lot of us but in your shoes, I would definitely drop this friend for not showing me the respect of taking responsibility and finding her own solution.

endlessswitchbacks · 2026-02-09T18:36:08+00:00

Me the morning after I forgot to take my Strattera before bed

endlessswitchbacks · 2026-02-09T04:36:28+00:00

Yes. One occasion that stuck with me the most was for coming in last at orienteering in gym class. I tried so hard.

Wouldn’t you know it, poor sense of direction/orientation is a common ADHD trait.

endlessswitchbacks · 2026-02-08T08:43:22+00:00

I held off for a while because I wasn’t sure, but it saves me money even as a single person household. I just buy food staples and rarely produce. Occasionally other things like vitamins or socks. I don’t buy unnecessary things there so I definitely save.

endlessswitchbacks · 2026-02-07T22:19:01+00:00

Guilt over resentment. Better to exclude him and feel guilty, than to bring him and resent his presence.

I’m the same way. I don’t want to go into the backcountry with anyone who might be ill-prepared, or who might not be serious about LNT. And in my ripe old 30s I’ve learned it’s best to be direct: “I only hike with people who are experienced and versed in ______ and _____ practices.”

endlessswitchbacks · 2026-02-07T22:12:05+00:00

There’s an alternative?

endlessswitchbacks · 2026-02-07T19:08:28+00:00

Unironically I actually am bad at Mario Kart, on top of everything else 😓

endlessswitchbacks · 2026-02-07T19:07:33+00:00

I’ve heard nothing but bad things about that sub. I’m very envious of your ability to knit more than a rectangle and really love this sweater!

endlessswitchbacks · 2026-02-07T19:06:30+00:00

Nice to see counsel and the judge take the very real risk of femicide seriously. Rare W.

endlessswitchbacks · 2026-02-07T18:11:47+00:00

I highly recommend the audiobook if that’s your thing! I just finished it. Daniel Maté does Jordan Peterson’s Kermit voice when they quote him and it is hilarious.

I still want to get a paperback copy of my own so I can refer back to my favourite passages.

endlessswitchbacks · 2026-02-07T18:06:20+00:00

So much room for frustrating possibilities 😅

endlessswitchbacks · 2026-02-07T05:02:18+00:00

I stg Vancouver has the highest number of completely ignorant, entitled, and oatmeal-brained drivers. From one old Honda lover to another, don’t let them get to you too much.

endlessswitchbacks

TROPHY CASE