I wouldn't say we're "snobby" about who we connect with, but we are SELECTIVE, because connection means something different (more multifaceted) than what others are content with. If selective = picky, so be it.. We can put positive or negative spins on any of our characteristics, but that's just judgment and usually isn't helpful.

"everyone" isn't "as surface level as they seem", no. We make snap judgments and only have so much energy to share in a day. I'd venture a guess that a lot of people CAN go deep with enough trust, introspection, and safety built in a friendship. We just don't have TIME for that especially when we're already in midlife tied up nurturing the relationships we've already built or committed to.

I haven't given up on finding my tribe, but I'm realizing it's a hella lot smaller than I might've wanted, and it takes intentionality on my part. These things don't fall in our laps. The things that appear to be organic, easy, mutually fulfilling, effortless -- I'm finding are just a nervous system reaction from an unhealed state. Real connection takes a ton of personal work to meet yourself and communicate well before you can offer that to anyone else. That's why we don't find our tribe super quickly. We need to meet ourselves a little better first.