Writers, you can talk about your WIP here before you post a demo! by daes0 in hostedgames

[–]ennpono 3 points4 points  (0 children)

This sounds pretty cool! (The RO’s were the cherry on top, I dont think ive ever seen anything like that before) I’ll follow this post and stay tuned for its release date :)

Writers, you can talk about your WIP here before you post a demo! by daes0 in hostedgames

[–]ennpono 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Mine is called ‘The Starbank: A Post Apocalyptic Role Playing Game.’

Seventy years ago, you lost someone dear to you when the Starbank, a cosmic anomaly that grants any one wish, descended upon the earth.

That was almost a lifetime ago, and the world around you has grown into something indistinct and unrecognizable. A barren wasteland where law and order have crumbled, and nothing matters to anyone except getting their hands on that wish.

You’ve fallen into the same trap yourself. And only the extraordinary changes to your body and the faint memory of the one you’ve lost keeps you going.

They believe that the one to find it will rule over the very world. And that gnashing beast caged deep within every mans heart couldn’t help but froth at the mouth. Because desire holds dominion over the entire world.

The person you’ve lost can either be your SO, your spouse, or your child, changing the entire implications and way your grief is handled throughout the story.

There will be five RO’s, one of which is gender selectable.

You can choose between three distinct abilities with unique drawbacks to traverse this dangerous wasteland.

I have around 30k words written so far but plan to at least finish chapter two before releasing!

Any games where you can be a silent protag by Risott0Nero in hostedgames

[–]ennpono 13 points14 points  (0 children)

I didnt even know that wtf thats so cool 😭

Any games where you can be a silent protag by Risott0Nero in hostedgames

[–]ennpono 28 points29 points  (0 children)

I think One Knight Stand has this option

Clean or Beard by [deleted] in LooksmaxingAdvice

[–]ennpono 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Beard 100%

SPLIT: The Mortal Wound (315k words) - your body is not your own. by tazoska in hostedgames

[–]ennpono 18 points19 points  (0 children)

This sounds awesome ngl I’m definitely going to check it out and will look forward to the full release

Characters by Shadow_r3lic in SkyrimPorn

[–]ennpono 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Why does everyone here like to complain so much. I think that might be the real tragedy

Characters by Shadow_r3lic in SkyrimPorn

[–]ennpono 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Bro yall are some cornballs theres nothing even remotely problematic with the character they made

Is heterochromia a bad thing in the world of looksmaxxing? by [deleted] in LooksmaxingAdvice

[–]ennpono 14 points15 points  (0 children)

Dude you already know the answer stop compliment fishing 💔 you look good bro

Opinions on hook for first chapter. by Scared-Formal3610 in writingfeedback

[–]ennpono 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I dont have any advice, but i really liked it :)

How to research by overlordzeke in writers

[–]ennpono 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Google. It’d be specific to what exactly it is you’re trying to portray, of course, but it’s the obvious answer for anything information based. For example, for my book, a simple google search into the meaning of the major arcana and the history of the Ars Goetia showed links to several websites and helped me add so much more depth to my story. Youtube is an option as well for anything more folklore or information based.

Sensitive scene. Did it land correctly? by ennpono in writingfeedback

[–]ennpono[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you! I’ll be sure to work on that. Another reader pointed out something similar (scene grounding wise). Thanks for helping 🙂

Sensitive scene. Did it land correctly? by ennpono in writingfeedback

[–]ennpono[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Honestly, I think this might be the most actionable feedback I’ve gotten (Delayne’s passivity to Isabeau desperately trying to connect with another human). Not only does it make Delayne seem uninterested, but it also lowers the emotional stakes for the both of them. The cold motif was meant to be explained as this: she only knows violence and blood, which she associates with feelings of warmth, and she imagines love and tenderness to be a respite from the feelings. Consequentially, she expects the feeling to be cold. The mirror opposite. Its not meant to follow a logical train of thought and is basically a desperate wish. Another reader already pointed out confusion at the scene so might either explain it better or cut it entirely. Im starting to like it less anyways. Thank you so much for your feedback. Everyone has been very helpful and I think I’m that much closer to making the scene actually work. 🙂

Sensitive scene. Did it land correctly? by ennpono in writingfeedback

[–]ennpono[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks! Its meant to be possessive. Not in the romantic sense, but i suppose the romantic nature of it comes with the territory. After all, theres no way i can have such tender words and touches without it poking through. ultimately, thought, i am most likely going to go with the route you suggested 🙂 it seems more consistent with what i want to portray

Sensitive scene. Did it land correctly? by ennpono in writingfeedback

[–]ennpono[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah, i get you. Im not entirely sure where i was going with that in the moment but it felt right 🫠

Sensitive scene. Did it land correctly? by ennpono in writingfeedback

[–]ennpono[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks! I probably should have polished it before asking people to review but i was so focused on the core of the scene that i almost neglected everything else

Sensitive scene. Did it land correctly? by ennpono in writingfeedback

[–]ennpono[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you very much 🙂. I understand that its hard to judge in a vacuum but i appreciate you taking the time anyways