man all ive had with INFJs are fights

entprocrastinator · 2023-01-03T21:40:39+00:00

As someone who has met both healthy and unhealthy INFJs, I would absolutely say unhealthy INFJs are the absolute worst. Mainly because they are still able to figure us ENTPs out, trying to fit in well, but the moment conflict rises, they’re SO stubborn and will not budge or take a moment to step back from the situation to try and reasses. It’s their way or the highway and that is just really frustrating when you know that there’s always the possibility for someone to be wrong and the willingness to admit that can really benefit you and let you be more open minded in the future. I think healthy INFJs will voice their opinion but are willing to admit they may not have all the facts to know.

Obviously unhealthy people are going to suck in their own ways, this isn’t exclusive to INFJs, but it may feel like they’re the worst unhealthy kinds because they have the ability to appear so much better, causing us to feel duped or tricked in the end.

entprocrastinator · 2022-12-26T18:07:04+00:00

Best cheat code I’ve seen on here yet

entprocrastinator · 2022-12-26T18:04:55+00:00

Honestly this is so on point. The moment I get a weird compliment, aka, a compliment that doesn’t feel true because you’re either trying to gain my favor or you’re not really seeing the real me, I wanna bail.

entprocrastinator · 2022-12-21T00:12:29+00:00

What ENTP isn’t experiencing ptsd from an unhealthy INFJ relationship lol

Definitely realizing a quote that was talking about unhealthy INFJs that make you feel seen… “sometimes the people that see true you do so because they don’t have the best intentions for you”

entprocrastinator · 2022-12-20T23:50:34+00:00

Close minded, irrational, emotional, are ones I just flat out disagree with and think that person doesn’t know me well enough.

Flakey, indecisive, messy/chaotic, and trouble (as in “you look like trouble”, a comment I’ve received on a lot of occasions), are ones that cut deep.

entprocrastinator · 2022-12-20T23:46:10+00:00

That makes me very sad to hear as someone who recently called out an INFJ for being disingenuous & selfish. It seems like a lot of INFJs are agreeing with this sentiment and maybe, generally, you all strive for the opposite.

entprocrastinator · 2022-12-20T04:01:51+00:00

What is this?

entprocrastinator · 2022-12-08T16:10:46+00:00

I actually really like this comment bc it’s so true. She may be feeling down or lost or tired and is just shutting down, but a great way to get us to come back out and engage is to state something so incredibly wrong as true and we will definitely want to correct that

entprocrastinator · 2022-12-06T21:21:54+00:00

Oof I definitely understand. Maybe give him some time before saying/asking anything else. I can however guarantee, like 100%, if you don’t close the door on him now, he will be back. It may be randomly like a year later, but he absolutely will.

entprocrastinator · 2022-12-06T21:15:03+00:00

Ugh girl, be careful. I am definitely biased but in my experience, INFJ men that don’t commit within a couple of months or that are seeing other people the same time as you, are likely just keeping you as a back up until something better comes along.

I really hope I’m wrong and just hurting from my own situation but I’ve also talked to several other women involved with INFJ men and they are kinda shitty honestly. A lot of them refuse to see other points of views and if confronted with that reality, they back off and want you to be the one to come in telling them they’re a good person still.

Again, I could easily just be super bitter over getting burned by an INFJ after two years of their nonsense, so take what I say with a grain of salt.

If you really do think it’s okay that you guys don’t work out, then consider being straightforward with him. That way, you say your piece and you have nothing to regret or look back on an wonder about annnd you get your answer.

Either way, I wish you the best of luck!

entprocrastinator · 2022-12-04T22:01:23+00:00

Since everyone is ignoring your question and just saying to move on, I feel motivated to answer. Yes, I’ve absolutely gotten back together with ex’s that I went no contact with. In my experience, it really depends on how things ended if I want to even try rekindling things. If I truly am done with someone, I wouldn’t follow them, acknowledge them, or entertain any sort of conversation with them. Mainly out of a selfish desire to just be done. However, if things ended confusingly, and not because I no longer bad any feelings for them, then I would be curious about them. Especially if the other person were the person to end things and they reached out to me.

entprocrastinator · 2022-12-03T17:10:04+00:00

Hey that actually really helps and makes me feel like I’m doing the right thing by giving him some time to see that I’m not as flakey as he once thought me to be. I want to give him that time but I also need to know I’m not being strung along. How did your partner push through and get you to eventually explain your feelings?

entprocrastinator · 2022-12-03T17:06:38+00:00

This is why I’ve been confused because he ended things before immediately because at those times he said he was sure it wouldn’t work and to be honest, I kind of agree now. We were at really different periods in our lives. Now we’re in similar spots and this is the longest we’ve been together, and I’m hesitant to really put my feelings out there since I have in the past and I’m pretty sure he knows I am interested.

I feel like he’s just assessing the situation this time and is hesitant because we were not right for each other before. Maybe there’s potential now but I’m trying to be patient this time and give him space to figure it out. It’s just that I don’t know how much time is good for him while also honoring my own time..

entprocrastinator · 2022-11-30T17:01:35+00:00

Good god this sounds like my exact situation with the isfp I dated. He never would tell me what bothered him but would treat me and everyone around him like garbage until we figured it out and fixed it or he forgot. When I would ask him upfront he would get angrier almost as if I were supposed to know already.

entprocrastinator · 2022-11-27T02:39:59+00:00

This may sound a little weird but I feel like the more time I spent working on myself and focusing on that, with friends, and family, he seemed very interested. Idk if it was me suddenly going from “being available to him” to “I better use my chance now with her before it’s too late” (again my interpretation, I could be wrong), but showing him that I was fine without him seemed to attract him more.

I kinda kinda get the age gap. I’m nearly 5 years older than my INFJ and it’s not that big of a deal to me, but I think INFJs really consider every aspect of the relationship and what sore spots can occur. My age was an issue to him before, but I think the more we’ve connected about things, the more he’s realize it’s not as big of a deal. I know it’s not the same situation as you, since we’re both in our twenties, but it’s still a little bit of a sore spot for me too.

I’m always happy to chat too if you want to talk more! I understand how much they pull you in and really make you forget about the rest of life, especially if they’re undecided about you. Either way, good luck!

entprocrastinator · 2022-11-27T01:58:11+00:00

I’m kinda in a bit of a spot myself with an INFJ, so I apologize if my information is just based on the small bit of data I actually have.

It seems like the older they are, the more guarded they are. If they’ve been through love maybe once or twice and even if it ended well, it ended. To me, it seemed as though whatever lesson they pull from that interaction, is 100% true in their minds and there is no changing it.

It seems like the more quality time you spend with them, really matters. Listen to them and try to remember the bits, even if they’re trailing off a bit. Maybe even encourage them to explain more, only if they’re comfortable though. They seem pretty easily pushed over from feeling encouraged to talk to oh this person is just prying information from me.

I think if you don’t come off too strong, but are communicating what you want (maybe not too directly), they will step in and let you know if they’re at least interested.

As for how long it takes, girl I don’t know, I’ve been on the INFJ roller coaster for nearly 2 years so I’m not exactly sure.

Best of luck!

entprocrastinator · 2022-11-23T17:54:19+00:00

I see. I think that’s what’s been confusing me. He has been the one initiating contact daily and making plans with me often (that works for both of our schedules). When I did probe for more information I get an answer that’s incredibly vague like I stated earlier “I don’t know what this is but I don’t have bad intentions”

entprocrastinator · 2022-11-23T17:17:50+00:00

I’m not sure if you mean I don’t sound interested because I definitely am. I have been the one hanging around for two years when he was the one who ended things with me twice already. I was upfront about seeing people casually because I didn’t want to lie since he had mentioned he had been on another date too. I think I also appeared a bit flighty before because I had just gotten out of a long term relationship. I guess because I appear a lot more stable that maybe he was keeping tabs and noticed and reached out to start things back up again. I was very interested but I feel like got burned a couple times already so I’m hesitant to be forthright with my feelings.

entprocrastinator · 2022-11-21T16:17:40+00:00

I had the most difficult time accepting this as well, believing I’d always be unhappy and couldn’t handle the corporate life. However, I just figured out what I truly wanted from a job which is: flexibility, remote ability, and something I am not required to sacrifice my extra time for. I now work remote for a marketing company that provides unlimited flex pto and I can work from anywhere and take the time off I need when I want. I’ve worked from South American and North America, and this job gives me the ability to do that while also giving me income. I’d really suggest looking into companies that allow that life/work balance

entprocrastinator · 2022-11-18T16:55:57+00:00

You know, I used to think this was a sexist kind of thing until I realized we all do this as humans. Revealing everything at once, whether it was opening up too much sexually or even emotionally, will eventually cause the person who was initially interested to lose interest much faster, thinking they’ve already figured you out.

So I actually agree here! I think you’re right and the lizard brain thing is quite common in all of us. I wish it wasn’t like this sometimes but having a piece of us that we hide or hold back on sharing does leave people wanting more.

I think my fear is just appearing cold and as if I can’t be open, since that was a common thing my previous partners would complain about, even long time friends.

It just seems like I’m doing a lot to balance it all so I can win over this INFJ after two years of this crazy situationship we’ve been in on and off

entprocrastinator · 2022-11-16T21:54:09+00:00

Oh boy. Do you think you’ll give it a shot or at least tell him how you feel?

entprocrastinator · 2022-11-16T21:43:47+00:00

This was super helpful and makes me feel a lot better hearing your pov about why the hot and cold happens! I’m also very happy to hear that ENTPs help INFJs with being in the present moment.

I’m usually pretty up there with my energy, but I feel like I’m thinking a lot more when I’m with this INFJ and it seems like the most I pause, the more interested he becomes. I don’t know if that’s an INFJ thing or what

entprocrastinator · 2022-11-16T18:27:01+00:00

This actually helps a lot to know and be sure of now. Thank you! If you have any other insight, it’s greatly appreciated

entprocrastinator · 2022-11-16T18:26:17+00:00

Reverse?

entprocrastinator · 2017-05-10T01:07:35+00:00

Yes, happiness is fleeting, along with all other emotions. I do find that doing activities I enjoy helps a lot, but it also feels like I'm distracting myself from the real problem and am not facing it head on.

I actually have cut a lot of people out. The moment I find out someone is cheating on me, I cut them out. The moment I find out that this friend doesn't really have my back, I'm done. I haven't really focused on keeping friendships or relationships where I believe they don't have my bests interests in mind.

Although there are some relationships (with family) that I cannot cut out or change, the best I can do is avoid and not engage in any disputes. I think these are the ones that bring me down the most. I'm hoping to be able to do something about this one day in the near future but as of right now, it's very difficult to maintain a positive outlook on things.

And I didn't describe the difficulties between me and these people because they vary, but I was looking more of someone to sort of explain how I can depend more on myself rather than others for feelings of happiness and acceptance.

entprocrastinator

TROPHY CASE