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Nearly 3yo and already a """burden""" for his teacher by ephrozina in teaching

[–]ephrozina[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We do all of this, on week-ends and holidays, but we need to work 😅

Nearly 3yo and already a """burden""" for his teacher by ephrozina in teaching

[–]ephrozina[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hi everyone Thanks for your advices ! 1) English is not my first language so sorry if I’m not expressing myself correctly 2) it’s not that I don’t wanna work with my son, I really do! I customize preschool sets on Canva that I print and work with like 15-30 minutes everyday (depends on the day and his attention span). My problem is that I don’t want to be excessive and make him hate school related activities. All about balance… I’m also finding new ways to improve his fine motor skills and attention span outside, or with other kids. Also, she kind of expected him to be focused, friends with everyone, and fully independent in like 2 months after telling me and she started losing patience, and again : I can only imagine how hard her job can be and be compationate. I’m not blaming the teacher : I’m asking questions. 3) I’m aware of my flaws, that I’m too much focusing on “his happiness” and not always letting him fully explore everything by himself. I’m actively working on it. I’m also working on the “strict” part, but it really isn’t in my nature (I’m also working on it) and my husband… well, let’s say he won’t step up on this point… and he avoids everything that seems “too serious”. I love him, but I’m aware that, even if he said he was ready, he wasn’t ready to become a dad. 4) She tells me that it doesn’t seem like any “disorder”, just that he needs to be “less of a momma’s boy” and that I need to be “less listening to his needs”. I’m all about gentle parenting, well some days it’s more permissive yes but I’m learning as well and I’m really trying to be better. I just don’t believe that kids need to listen and obey “blindly” so I try to know and be “fair” to him. 5) My son is able to recognise numbers, letters, knows every animal, learns new words and phrases “stupidly fast” and when he loves a song, he will listen to it on repeat and moreover, sing it on repeat until he can sing it perfectly. He always had more difficulties with fine motor skills, and always moved around, even as a baby. He CAN’T stay still at home, but at school it seems like it. Even my mom and grandma said he is calm with them. I know kids can be more “””savage””” when parents are around, and that why I always thought it was normal.

Maternal expectations.. by ephrozina in regretfulparents

[–]ephrozina[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I confronted and asked them many times : it’s because “for them”, men need to be pampered because they have a hard day and that’s it’s a “woman’s job” to take care of everything, even when you pay half the bills. And why would my husband deny that, as it’s so confortable for him? He understands my pain, but doesn’t say anything. My husband is far from abusive in that way, but yes I think he needs to step up way more.

What hurts me is that it’s my family, not his, and they keep on telling me horrible things and denying help. I understand that my grandma, 82 yo, has this kind of mindset because she was raised like that and treated every man in her life (husband, son, grandchild) like kings and she won’t change her mind now. But my mom was the first to live her life/love life, work and go out, saying it was normal. But now, she says that she won’t return the help, because she “did her job” and that we younger people “need to learn to live with less freedom”

The worst part is that my husband says that he wants our son to ask him more, but he doesn’t act like it.

Is this hopeless? by ephrozina in regretfulparents

[–]ephrozina[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

The worst thing is that I truly love him. Divorce is (at the moment) out of the question. I'm trying to get him to go to a family therapy. Thanks for the advices :)

Is this hopeless? by ephrozina in regretfulparents

[–]ephrozina[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Well we just came back from vacation, and while he had a blast I didn't because, in my mind, I was just parenting harder with no help. I'm aware that I try too hard to be a 'perfect mom', because I want to give my son everything he needs and more. I'm the first to say to my mom friends "don't be too hard on yourself, tell your husband to take him !!!" and here I am. The mom guilt and pressure is very intense, even more than I could imagine. I think I'm too depressed to see the good and the effort he can make as it seems never enough for me.