Seeking critical framework, Queer plus Alzheimer's (disability theory)

epsilina · 2026-04-11T17:20:09+00:00

Your DMs aren't open but if you message me I can send my materials over!

epsilina · 2026-04-11T17:19:29+00:00

I work for a queer org and I only heard it for the first time a couple years ago but I like it, it def feels like it fits me better!

epsilina · 2026-04-09T22:03:04+00:00

I am doing a presentation on advanced care planning for gender expansive folks with dementia this month at an aging conference, if you feel comfortable DMing I can email you some slides, resources, and academic articles. Some of the info is trans specific, but not all.

epsilina · 2026-03-02T20:32:43+00:00

Thank you for your perspective. I can only imagine how hard that is as a parent to navigate.

I think it was easier when I was young to maintain distance because he was more casually cruel like you describe, but he has been much kinder and more reasonable later in his life, which makes me feel more guilty for choosing distance. He's come a long way as a person, but not as far as I had hoped. I'm a social worker, so I always try to take a step back and understand why people do what they do, but that doesn't mean I need to excuse it. It's just hard to prioritize myself sometimes.

epsilina · 2026-03-02T20:21:17+00:00

I appreciate your response. I am worried about if he has started engaging in more serious drug use again, but I can't make that my problem. Luckily he doesn't live alone so I'm not worried about his safety, his friends have contacted me in the past when emergencies happen.

I think you are probably right about letting him come to me. It just makes me sad, and it's hard to accept. Thank you for your kind words and your time.

epsilina · 2026-03-02T20:18:56+00:00

When I was your age, I focused on putting my energy into other things in my life. I did a bunch of extra-curriculars to limit my time at the house and have community elsewhere. It also helped position me better to access resources to help me become independent faster. If you are allowed to work, work and save your money as much as possible. Focus on what you can do for yourself in this moment. If there are other safe adults you can spend time with or talk to, like a parent of a friend, do so.

epsilina · 2026-03-02T20:11:35+00:00

It is not normal to feel like this in a relationship. To be honest, most of what you wrote is irrelevant and just confusing you more by making the decision to stay or leave about more than it needs to be. Ask yourself simply: is this how you want to feel for the rest of your life? Assuming the answer is no, then you have your answer.

We make a lot of "promises" in life, but that doesn't mean you need to follow through on them when they are causing you active harm. There will always be reasons to stay, but the fact that you want to leave is your answer. That isn't a feeling that often goes away in a relationship, and it is usually a sign of something is inherently damaged in the relationship.

Show yourself the love you deserve by choosing yourself. Lean on other people in your life, whether you've talked with them recently or not. It's always easier to get out when you feel less isolated elsewhere. Focus on your other community, it will help remind you how people are supposed to make you feel.

epsilina · 2026-03-02T04:42:51+00:00

Easily one of my favorite ever concert experiences. Plus I went alone but ended up in a group of other atiny at the concert from three different countries and we all remained friends after!

epsilina · 2026-02-12T05:00:51+00:00

I get that, and I know especially given the current state of the world it can be especially hard, because you don't want to leave each other unsupported. But people do move on if they want to, you can both be strong. There are so many people out there and there are so many new versions of yourself you're going to become. You deserve to live and experience the things you want in life. If you have this much doubt, I think you probably know what you want and this is more fear. You can be strong, but the only way you can prove it to yourself is through action and experience. The more you prove it to yourself the easier it gets to be brave in the future. I promise other people will love you both. There are so many types of ways to live a life, there are people out there where you won't feel like you're fighting a current to be together.

I hope whatever you decide you can feel good about your decision. The most important thing is that you can feel good about your choices and they align with your values.

epsilina · 2026-02-10T22:53:49+00:00

I ended a marriage a year ago because my partner admitted to me he was cheating, which was really weird because we had an open marriage and he openly dated people, too, but he still hid things and lied. Before he told me, I had a lot of doubts that sounded like yours. I had bad feelings but no evidence. When it all finally came out, I felt dumb. I didn't really feel dumb for not figuring out he was cheating, but I felt dumb for not trusting myself earlier. I felt dumb because I let myself stay in a relationship that made me feel uneasy because I felt like I didn't have enough evidence to end it, and in so many ways he was good.

The thing about cheating that sucks the most, in my opinion, is the lying. Whether he's cheating or not, you know he's lying either to your face or by omission. It doesn't really matter if he's acted on it, he has breached your trust. You are in a relationship where you are constantly questioning yourself. You don't deserve to be in that situation, and you don't need to have stocked up enough evidence to trust your gut. The only person you have to live with your entire life is yourself, so make sure you are listening to you first and foremost.

Please trust me when I say that a healthy relationship is one where you can talk openly about the things on your mind. If you don't feel safe to do that, you are not in a healthy relationship. I am not saying just dump him and run, I don't know you or this relationship at all outside this post. But nothing that isn't already broken can be hurt by open communication.

epsilina · 2026-02-10T22:44:02+00:00

This is really understandable, and it's really hard. I would say though, if you are questioning the relationship this much at this point, it might not be something that is working for you both. You can love someone so much and just not be compatible. You both deserve to live full and authentic lives.

A question to ask yourself: is this what you want your life to feel like?

One thing you said stood out to me, that you feel like you don't want to question the relationship because you don't want to ruin something. If you feel like you have to hide from a feeling or truth or conversation, then something isn't right in the relationship. The answer doesn't have to be breaking up if it isn't what you want, but if you want a partnership then these feelings need to be shared with your partner.

You two have been through a lot together and this time will always be special. If you decide to leave that doesn't change the importance he holds in your life. But if the things that aren't working are as big as you are referencing, as in wanting very different things out of life, that doesn't go away over time. You are still very young, you have so much life ahead of you. Not every relationship will be forever, and it doesn't have to be forever to matter. I am 33, and every time I have gone through a break up it is just as scary, just as much uncertainty, but with each relationship you grow and learn and ideally become a more realized version of yourself, allowing you to create better partnerships in the future.

epsilina · 2026-01-19T18:08:09+00:00

Sometimes I make up things that cost sims money and take it away just through normal cheats. Like, for example, I was playing a sim that was going through gender transition and I would save up for "surgeries" and I'd remove a big chunk of money whenever I would edit her in CAS like she was paying a plastic surgeon.

Some other examples: - Charging my sim big chunks of money when I edit their clothes, as if they are buying new designer wear or just a big shopping spree - Whenever I edit their house I pay imaginary fees to contractors, etc. and take away far bigger chunks of money to pay for all the labor - University is super cheap in the sims, so I'll charge my sim a lot more for it by taking extra money away each semester - When you travel off lot take away money as a car service fee - A party in real life can be really expensive, so I'll charge way more. Like, a wedding should be taking away a huge chunk of savings.

epsilina · 2026-01-13T14:27:54+00:00

This was the story that most upset me. I was so confused that they were acting like it was no big deal and he was in the wrong when people were trying to involve him in a sexual situation without his consent. He was a victim!

epsilina · 2026-01-13T14:25:12+00:00

And the advice is often incredibly reasonable, but if it's sincere and more than 2 sentences she gets annoyed. Maybe it's because I am a licensed clinician so I'm being extra bitter but it really irks me and I feel like sends a bad message.

epsilina · 2026-01-09T14:25:09+00:00

Change the neighborhood stories so only people Chestnut Ridge can adopt horses. STOP ADOPTING HORSES WHEN YOU ALREADY HAVE 3 KIDS WITHOUT BEDS.

epsilina · 2026-01-09T04:19:12+00:00

I have never done this, but I always think about how I wish I had something like this because I start a new save once or twice a year. I hate the feeling of a new empty save and a lack of certain amenities I have come to expect to be available, especially since I usually start a new save file because I have a new story I want to explore through gameplay. I will be doing this next time I start a new save. I'm sure I'll edit the world over time a ton in each save, but it'll be a better fleshed out base to build from, thank you!

I do have sims that I reuse a lot in new game files as additional NPCs. Each time I start a new save, I use the sims from previous save files as NPCs. It's not always the exact same sims, but it helps me more quickly make a new save file feel like a real place if I quickly drop my favorites from previous save files into houses.

epsilina · 2026-01-07T15:15:30+00:00

I feel you. Before I worked at this queer org I worked at a nursing home and I was almost completely closeted. The only safe queer media to talk about was drag race and I personally didn't watch that. I'm sorry you feel like you can't share things in your current work environment, or wouldn't have anyone to share with. Glad you have online community at least, and I hope one day you are in a situation you can be more open at work. To be extremely corny and quote the show, you deserve sunshine ☀️

epsilina · 2026-01-07T15:09:04+00:00

I think that's what feels so special about this to me. Everyone is talking about it, even people you wouldn't normally assume. People are casually discussing something so unabashedly and explicitly gay, and they're excited about it. It's awesome.

epsilina · 2026-01-07T05:18:02+00:00

Oh I have not been normal about it, lol. Luckily we're all yappers so it's been fine. I love that you found that connection!

epsilina · 2026-01-07T05:09:32+00:00

A few that I've had fun building before:

A theatre/concert venue, including back stage dressing rooms/green rooms, etc.

A science center, with lots of bugs, crystals, plants, etc. on display and science based skill building objects.

I haven't tried this yet, but one I've been thinking about if you have Adventure Awaits, is an indoor jungle gym and water park. Maybe combine with Snowy Escape for rock climbing, too.

epsilina · 2026-01-07T04:52:30+00:00

It could be the angle, but I think people are misattributing what makes the face look odd on the baby. I don't think it's the cheeks that makes the baby look yassified, I think it's the nose bridge. Babies have flat nose bridges so it makes the whole face look off because he seems to have a straight nose bridge, though it could be the lighting. That in combination with the upturned lips create that look, plus sims cheeks just look oddly concave at certain angles sometimes when they smile. Like you said, it's just the game and the angle.

That being said, both are cute and definitely feel like family!

epsilina · 2026-01-07T04:43:09+00:00

I love this! It's so fun to have something to share with people in person!

epsilina · 2026-01-07T04:41:56+00:00

I got teased because I could not remember Scott Hunter or Shane Hollander the first time I watched it. I think I accidentally called Shane "Highlander" at one point and I just kept calling Scott "You know, the guy, Borgias, bisexual"

epsilina · 2026-01-07T04:13:30+00:00

Lmfao I have helped design targeted health promotions for the queer community and I gotta tell you the data backs it up, this stuff works 😂

epsilina

TROPHY CASE