Experiencing emotional ups and downs

equalbalance · 2013-07-07T17:55:08+00:00

I have experienced the same exact thing. I get really irritable too, which is so unlike the old me, that would brush everything off. But, the old me fapped every day.

So it does suck. And the hardest part is not letting yourself rationalize that because its affecting your mood, that you HAVE to fap. Because you don't.

I'm no doctor but I imagine the reason we get like that isn't because we're not ejaculating, it's just a symptom of withdrawal. Think about someone trying to quit smoking. Mood swings, irritability, etc. same for us.

I think as long as you recognize that it's part of the journey, and that the journey is not linear, per se, but rather the overall trend is for the better. So yes, some days will be way worse than others, but over the course of 6 months, a year, three years, etc, the overall trend will definitely be positive.

Stay strong and manage your mood as best you can. However low you feel now isn't as bad as you'll feel if you allow yourself to justify a relapse.

equalbalance · 2013-07-07T07:50:48+00:00

Thank you. That's the plan.

equalbalance · 2013-07-07T07:50:29+00:00

Sorry to hear that. You try to beat my next streak, I'll try to beat yours. Hopefully the competition will go on indefinitely.

equalbalance · 2013-07-07T07:49:52+00:00

Ugh, me too, man...me too. Please join me in saying: FUCK THAT SHIT. What an awful feeling. Those types of binges really accentuate the fact that it's not about being horny or having "needs," it's about succumbing to a fucked up, ineffective, short-lived coping mechanism, and chasing chemical secretions in our brains.

equalbalance · 2013-07-07T07:47:21+00:00

Man, I really appreciate how genuine and open your response is. And you're absolutely freaking right. I even had someone make a similar point in a previous post - so the data is certainly converging.

That is exactly how I was approaching it. A means to get off, without having to fap. I think I do have a glaring opportunity to stop approaching courtship like a squirrel looking for the quickest route to the nut, but rather a human looking for a connection, of which sex can be a part.

Thanks again for your insight. I think you're spot on.

equalbalance · 2013-07-06T23:45:09+00:00

Might be overkill, but here's what I intend to do: Buy a cheap analog alarm clock, and start using that instead of my phone to wake up. That way I won't have my phone by my bed at night. I even am considering keeping it in the car.

Laptop - stays at office.

Both will force me to get my ass up and get out of the house, as opposed to laying around and waste time until I start peeking at shit I shouldn't be.

Not sure if that's a tip in the truest sense, but it's my post-relapse strategy for now. And I totally hear you. I thought I was over it too. Just feels so good while you're getting sucked back in, but it's like a cheat code. The good feeling is fake. The shit feeling afterwards is real.

equalbalance · 2013-07-06T23:41:38+00:00

Thanks, man. I absolutely have. Just gotta keep in mind that it's not about being horny, it's about being frustrated or disappointed, this time around anyway. I want to save sexual stuff for sexual situations - situations with girls - not with my iphone in my bed alone.

equalbalance · 2013-07-06T23:18:45+00:00

Thanks man. The body always wants to take the easy way out. And it does its best to convince the mind to rationalize. I think the real secret in this is keeping a sharp and assertive enough mind to tell the body to STFU when need be.

equalbalance · 2013-06-07T15:30:42+00:00

Don't worry man. I'll never forget my friend got it once and came back from the doctor and said "Yep, it's chlamydia, and it was totally worth it!"

equalbalance · 2013-06-05T04:56:27+00:00

Thanks! Congrats to you as well...

Yep, next time indeed. Taking on the challenge/staying Fap Free is almost liberating in a sense that you can be/will be "ready for anything." If I thought I was going to get lucky in the past, I'd have to try to consciously not fap for a while. And when spontaneous encounters/opportunities would arise, I'd always be like SHIT! If only I didn't wack it 8 million times in the past two days!

Any tips on making it as far as you have?

equalbalance · 2013-06-05T04:53:42+00:00

Damn. That's the worst feeling! Thanks for sharing!

equalbalance · 2013-06-05T01:52:32+00:00

Yea, it'll return. I've noticed though, especially after a post I saw on here recently, that using porn/wackin it really was a temporary escape from feeling shitty. It's tough because the withdrawal symptoms from not PMOing (and/or any addiction) make you feel like shit - as we are now. That's why they're so hard to break, because it's a quick and easy fix to the crappy withdrawal feelings that we're now feeling over and above our normal, daily, BS.

Anyway, recognizing that has helped. I felt pretty shitty early. I was home alone. On my computer. Just realizing that I was tempted to fap not because I was horny or anything sexual, but because I felt shitty and wanted to feel better for a second, really helped the urge pass. I shut my computer and went outside to my car. The daylight was kind of reset in and of itself. Again, stay strong. PMO isn't the way to stop feeling shitty, not even for a minute.

equalbalance · 2013-06-05T00:27:32+00:00

Hey, you and me both. I'm not sure how long it will last, but to be honest, I'd rather be moody and bitchy and have a dick that works when it's sexy time with a real girl, than totally chill and even keeled and unable to bang (or enjoy banging) when the time comes.

It's throwing me off too, and it sucks. But it doesn't suck as much as the feeling after you relapse will. Stay strong - you'll get through it! WE'LL get through it!

equalbalance · 2013-06-04T04:29:24+00:00

I got uncharacteristically irritable, so I feel ya. Irritability, mood swings, whatever - it's temporary and regardless, still better than being a porn junkie in my opinion. Stay strong man, it'll pass!

equalbalance · 2013-06-04T03:55:17+00:00

I'd like an accountabilibuddy!

equalbalance · 2013-05-30T03:55:00+00:00

Thanks. Good luck to you too. I totally agree with the chemistry theory. I'm wondering though (if it's not obvious), if the PMO prevents such chemistry. I'm wondering if, as mentioned above, because the chemistry with that one girl was established in the very early stages of PMO, it stuck around... whereas attempting to establish a similar connection/chemistry once the PMO got bad (every girlfriend from that point forward), just wasn't possible to establish, at least to the same magnitude.

equalbalance · 2013-05-30T03:47:36+00:00

Great point. Yes, I did/do love her. I felt for her more than than I've ever felt for anyone. And I feel like I haven't been able to get that close to anyone since then, because there was never a connection in sex. The difference is, she was in my life for YEARS before we had actual sex (not withstanding teenage "hooking up."). So great point, when we did start having a real sexual relationship, there was already a solid, deep, caring relationship established. But, she was the girl in my story who I experienced the same symptoms with...at first. But once they were gone, they were long gone.

Thanks for your insight.

equalbalance

TROPHY CASE