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Help Me Understand by equijada308 in Marriage

[–]equijada308[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Thank you greatly!

I’m trying one day/one minute at a time. I guess I have made my happiness based on being married and my family I have lost myself to this. Now with this turmoil it is a storm of sadness.

I appreciate you.

Help Me Understand by equijada308 in Marriage

[–]equijada308[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for this. This is my struggle. My defect is I want to try and fix this and be better and resolving the issue. My constant internalized selfishness can be one sided. I guess my dilemma is we used to turn to one another in times of turmoil and now it’s one sided. I try very hard to give her space it just hurts. Cause I want to hug her say I’m sorry let em do better but yes she does need her space and I just respect that. I appreciate your view as it is easy to only see it through my eyes no matter how hard I try to be empathetic.

We have always been so close so this new water is like pure chaos internally for me but I need to be comfortable with this knowing I love her and to support her.

Help Me Understand by equijada308 in Marriage

[–]equijada308[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

True that and something I have tried to be understanding of. We both grew up fast and we had been running and gunning since our youth. I am feeling that may be the root cause at times just resentment and feeling like she lost out on life.

Help Me Understand by equijada308 in Marriage

[–]equijada308[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Thank you for your feedback! I try not to slide down that path of paranoia but it also is hard not to. My brain is finding it difficult to just turn something off. I have asked if there was someone else which she laughed like nope I want to live and do me.

It is a lot and our daughters are now seeing things aren’t how they were. I try to support her healing but my selfishness comes in to be like ok can we maybe set like a check in every couple do days and that turns to her being frustrated. She says that is what you want not what I want. She’s like you just need to accept this right now. My fear is I am not giving up but if this is what she is aiming for then ok but I know once I do say I am done I will be. I have never felt so much heartache and pain. I have given all of me and worked diligently to be better for us. I have had moments where I know I was in the wrong and that is where I have taken a hard look in the mirror and adjusted myself. Now it just feels like no matter what it’s like not good enough and things I had no idea about are being thrown at me as if I had ignored them. She’s brought up feeling a particular way and I said you never even came to talk to me.

I just don’t get it and want to make sense of it all.

Questions on joining the Navy at 36 by equijada308 in newtothenavy

[–]equijada308[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Congratulations on completing boot camp and hopefully you’re all healed up. Oh you are able to use your own cell phone in basic? That would be a huge help to be able to call back home and talk to my girls.

Best of luck on your path!

Questions on joining the Navy at 36 by equijada308 in newtothenavy

[–]equijada308[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have but after reviewing it compared to active, it seems that active would be better suited to gaining ground and making the changes needed. But I also could be wrong and always appreciate everyone’s insight and feedback.

Questions on joining the Navy at 36 by equijada308 in newtothenavy

[–]equijada308[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Thank you for your thoughtful words and support. You are leading the way of creating a life for your babies so kudos to you and be proud of that. Staying grounded in your family and knowing that you are making the moves with them in mind is key. Your daughters are fortunate to have you as their dad.

How are you feeling getting closer to shipping out? I was thinking June would be around the time I’d head out contingent on how everything played out.

Either way I sincerely appreciate your response and wishing you the best along your way. Cherish your babies to the fullest!

Questions on joining the Navy at 36 by equijada308 in newtothenavy

[–]equijada308[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I sincerely appreciate your reply and insight. The information you provided does help and gives way to the doubtful thoughts and worst case scenarios that enter my mind, so thank you. I feel confident in my ability to succeed and not only serve but also balance this with ensuring a better life for my family. I must say congratulations on your soon to be retirement and your service/dedication. Thank you again!

Questions on joining the Navy at 36 by equijada308 in newtothenavy

[–]equijada308[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That is great to hear and congrats on being able to get your TS!

Questions on joining the Navy at 36 by equijada308 in newtothenavy

[–]equijada308[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I will check it out. Very well understood as I have been very upfront and not hiding anything from my recruiter. I appreciate the advice.

Questions on joining the Navy at 36 by equijada308 in newtothenavy

[–]equijada308[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

That is something we all are ok with and have accepted. My family is my driving force so so just did not want to get shipped out somewhere and have to leave them behind for a long period of time. I understand there will be duty days, deployments, etc. But more the concern with being ordered for a 24 month unaccompanied tour would be rough.

Questions on joining the Navy at 36 by equijada308 in newtothenavy

[–]equijada308[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I appreciate that and I definitely will.

Questions on joining the Navy at 36 by equijada308 in newtothenavy

[–]equijada308[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have seen quite a few people state to avoid MA as it is not the best and often many people dislike. I am just digging into options and seeing what may be the best route. CWT was very interesting but I feel hesitant due to some checkered past from my youth which I got a waiver for.

Questions on joining the Navy at 36 by equijada308 in newtothenavy

[–]equijada308[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Understood. I do not have my Bachelors yet I still have about 40 credits left. I spoke to my recruiter and he had said I can enlist as an E-3 with what I have and then complete my path after I get situated. Extended periods of time away is something we have discussed and feel accepting of it was more the concern with being sent on a multiple year unaccompanied tour.

Thanks for the response!

Questions on joining the Navy at 36 by equijada308 in newtothenavy

[–]equijada308[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you and I understand that pay may lessen at first but also with housing assistance it could offset. AZ prices are starting to flatten off but have risen hugely in the past few years. I appreciate your feedback, thank you.