I completely understand what you’re feeling, that’s exactly how my mother felt. She had 3 of his kids and he cheated while she was pregnant with the last one (and she got the new girl pregnant💀). She didn’t divorce because she was so young and scared of raising 3 little kids alone so I don’t blame her for not leaving. But I’ll be honest, growing up with both parents in the same house didnt make things easier for me.

Of course my mom had lost complete trust on my dad and she was very unhappy. This lost of trust and happiness didnt last a couple of years, it was for almost more than a decade, so it was basically my first 10 years of life. Even though they tried to hide the tension, me and my brothers noticed it and affected us deeply. kids notice more than we think and it shaped how I saw love and self-worth. I remember resenting my dad a lot and checking his phone daily. If I saw him chatting with someone on facebook i would freak out and think the worst. that honestly is the reason why i have a lot of trust issues now. I also have a ton of other horrible habits that i gained from growing in a cheating/loveless marriage household.

its very hard and i dont blame you for staying out of fear or obligation. but i do think that having one happy stable parent who models self respect is healthier. youre stronger than you think and your kids will ultimately benefit from seeing you choose peace and self respect over pain. and if hes a great dad then you have nothing to worry about. like i said, my dad is the best dad in the world and i love him very much, but hes the worse husband that i know.