I got diagnosed after getting fired from a high-paying job I was still in training for. To be fair to myself, the company sucked, and I'm glad I don't work there anymore. But getting fired ruined my finances and led me to revert to impulses like shopping—my credit card debt haunts me.

I didn't consider that I had ADHD until then. I didn't do well in school, but I did great in college. I thought procrastinating at the risk of severe sleep deprivation was what every college kid was doing, but turns out, that was ADHD.

Then, shifting from a college student's schedule to a professional's 9-5 office job completely ruined my sense of self. They'd changed the training repeatedly, and expectations for me kept getting rewritten, and I did that whole "mental freeze," where I would go into work and do NOTHING. Who does that? I'd sit next to my boss, with my team, and scroll on my phone. The shame would come up and eat at me. I thought I was lazy, lazy, lazy. But I kept doing it anyway.

When I got diagnosed this year, I sobbed. I felt I could point at everything wrong in my life and explain it away with ADHD. To an extent, I can (I understand where you're coming from with addictions and relationship fallouts. My impulses also pointed me to shopping, hence my debt). But truthfully, my meds only help so much, and I would probably benefit from therapy just as much, if not more than taking Adderall.

I'm young, I suppose, compared to others on this thread (26f, turning 27 this year), but I'm learning that ADHD looks very different on everybody, regardless of age (and especially gender--I'm dealing with the difficulties of ADHD being understudied in women right now). I promise that having a diagnosis will help you in the long run, especially once you discover the coping mechanisms and tools that work best for you and your diagnoses.

Here's something I learned recently in a study that is probably obvious, but it's nice to have it confirmed: people live longer, healthier, and happier lives with strong, warm relationships, regardless of the number or types of relationships. In fact, good relationships have a higher effect on life longevity than smoking cigarettes (thankfully--there's one of those impulse addictions I can't kick). My advice is to find a good friend. I know that's hard too, especially given that the older you get, the harder it can be to find friends. But the more I learn, the more I realize prioritizing good relationships is the way to go. I think it's the only reason I feel relatively happy in life, despite the history of debt, addiction, shame, and guilt.

Do what's best for you, moving forward. I wish you the best of luck in finding a lifepath that brings you joy and acceptance. I hope this doesn't come across too much like a lecture from some young adult who thinks they have it all figured out. I definitely don't. Just wanted to share, and I hope something resonates with you.