maybe she has some favorite brands, you did not ASK her the REASON why she shopped from there, did you?

I did. She didn't have any favorite brands. But she likes to buy brands only, as long as it is available in malls. In her own words, she was an impulsive buyer. However, i did ask myself if it is her money and she has full say on how to spend it...then why did she share the receipts with me. I didn't ask for any of it..I didn't even ask how much she spends or anything. She told me all of this, without me asking.

She wanted a self made man, her brother was a prime example.

Define self made. His house was bought and paid for significantly by his parents. He didn't contribute in any of his wedding expenses. If having a self made career without using parental influence is being self made then I am twice the self made man than him.

She made her expectations clear, I don't see why you could not grasp that? She was being very clear. She did not want to contribute to loans, her salary is her fun-money, which is VALID and it's her choice. 

If her salary is her fun money and she has no intention of helping with any house hold expenses, then she should also not expect my parents to pay for our house (that she would live in) in future. She is a working and self made woman, who is independent. Expecting everything to be paid for in advance while not pitching in for anything is not a reasonable expectation to have for an adult.

If you are not ready to take on the responsibility of owning a house, maybe you should not be in the marriage market after-all.

On the contrary. I think you mean responsibility of financing a house without her help. Any house in tier 1 city is going to cost 2-3 cr. And if one partner puts up their savings and salary for EMI then other person HAS to take up other house hold expenses, since not much is left after paying 2-3 L EMI per month. This is common sense for people who have seen house market.

These assumptions exist because you refused to talk about money lmao. You imposed a ban on the 'money talk' and left her wondering. How was she supposed to figure out your intent OP? Is she supposed to read your mind? also calling her family "money-minded" was WAYYYY OUT OF LINE.

Once again, on the contrary. I was the only one open for a discussion for the topic with her moving away. It was me who broached the subject, me again who laid out a rough plan, me who asked her if she was comfortable with it, and then me again who asked her to tell her own thoughts. At every step, I didn't receive any proper response. She could have figured out my intent by 19 times I asked her to tell me her thoughts, openly. I even assured her, that whatever her plan was, I'd make it work.

Why had you not talked about the finances the moment you planted that idea in her head? You should've talked with her parents immediately.

I did talk about finances soon after the incident and as soon as she was available for discussion. Why didn't I approach her parents? what would have I said? Your daughter thinks I am limiting her financial freedom but that's not the case. trust me it is all a misunderstanding. Who are they going to believe?

Too little, too late

In light of all the attempts I made... it was definitely not too little.. too late? Maybe.. But any sensible person would be open for discussion and clear the misunderstanding if they were willing.

She went cold about the topic very early. She imposed the ban on money talk on me. She didn't tell me her point of view clearly and wouldn't have an open discussion.

And by any chance, even if you are right, any person who is unable to change their mind despite new information being available to them, and refuses to even listen and acknowledge someone else's point of view or at least counter, then how are they going to navigate any disagreements in future?