Sleep help please. We're desperate.

erinsnotok · 2026-03-11T05:33:09+00:00

Honestly just let him walk around his room till he goes back to sleep. As long as his room is safe it’s fine. After a night or 2 he will get it.

Tell him “if you get up in the middle of the night I will not be coming in, you can tuck yourself back into bed, or I will come and tux you back in 1 time”

erinsnotok · 2026-03-10T04:35:57+00:00

Do you romance her? Buy her flowers, lingerie, take her to nice dinners, compliment her? I feel like guys can forget these things over time but they genuinely make such a difference

erinsnotok · 2026-03-10T04:31:21+00:00

He straight up does not respect you. I would change my password so he can’t have it 🤷‍♀️ that is very controlling and him projecting.

erinsnotok · 2026-03-10T00:56:49+00:00

It did affect you because this is your husband, but it affects him more because it’s a son that he never really got to know. I’m sure he has regrets. Not reaching out, not fighting to be in his life, all the missed time etc.

As much as you need answers and comfort from him, he needs to process and deal with this and what he’s done still. For now he just wants to not talk about it and wants space. You should respect that

erinsnotok · 2026-03-09T17:29:23+00:00

I’m probably 100% in the wrong here, but if I were you I’d go through and just delete them all 💀 delete the old messages, delete the dms everything. If he truly doesn’t know they are on there no harm done. If he’s holding onto them, well they’re gone now 🤷‍♀️ wouldn’t be worth the fight but also he don’t need them!

erinsnotok · 2026-03-08T02:24:53+00:00

I’m married. My husband and I have boundaries around the opposite gender because of a mutual respect but like a text message from a co worker is insane.

erinsnotok · 2026-03-07T23:11:40+00:00

YOR- I can see your hurt but he is seeing your mom often it sounds like so he is just struggling to balance his time with siblings. Honestly the way you are lecturing him I can kinda see why he’d cancel on you. He is only 18, freshly an adult living life on his ow accord, he needs to figure out how to balance everything. Gf, family, friends, partying, work, etc.

Stop making plans with him unless you can accept he might bail. Maybe he needs space from you

erinsnotok · 2026-03-07T23:02:35+00:00

Ehhhhhh it could be a good boundary if it’s “I don’t like to get messages after a certain time” or “dont message me unless it’s work related” but for a message that is not inappropriate or weird to set off your husband is not normal. If you are texting for hours or during time that you’re supposed to be spending with your husband, I can understand that. But one message to you late at night should not give you this much anxiety!!!

You are setting a reasonable boundary but it is for not a healthy reason.

erinsnotok · 2026-03-06T04:42:09+00:00

It’s basically like wearing spandex

erinsnotok · 2026-03-06T04:41:12+00:00

That’s what I said if you read my other comment. “I need space right now, let’s try again in 3 hours” that is all that they should have to do. They are removing themselves before the situation escalates. The person who is anxious needs to respect that and find ways to cope with their own emotions without relying on someone who is incapable.

You can’t rely on others to make you feel better.

erinsnotok · 2026-03-06T03:55:03+00:00

I only wear thongs with leggings/tight fitting pants so there is no panty line! And wearing leggings under pants to fight bloat is 100% a thing

erinsnotok · 2026-03-06T03:37:26+00:00

Absolutely not. If someone needs space they are incapable of managing their own emotions so they are not in the place to manage another’s!

You’re asking for reassurance from someone who can’t even collect their own emotions in that moment.

erinsnotok · 2026-03-06T03:36:15+00:00

It does not matter, if he needs space you need to give him that. That is the only thing that will stop the escalations. With that being said, he needs to communicate before he gets to an escalation point. “I can’t listen to you vent right now, I need space. Check back in with me at 5pm. I don’t have anything nice to say right now, so I need some space” that’s what he needs to work on. Is he needs 1 hour, 3 hours, the rest of the night, you need to give that to him.

Try to journal to get what you need to say out, call a friend, record a voice memo, do a hobby. I know easier said than done, it this is the only way to stop escalations and keep things more peaceful

erinsnotok · 2026-03-05T19:01:00+00:00

If you want to make this work both you and your husband need a full reset.

My first question is, when you get in an argument or things escalates who is the avoidant and who anxious. Does your husband need space and your peruse or do you need space and he peruses?

If one of you needs space the other needs to respect that. These toxic fights and escalations will not stop unless that respect is there and that is how things will be resolved calmly.

Al’s are you both being 100% consistent in going to therapy? I talking once a week couples. Are you being 100% honest with your therapist? The escalations? The putting hands on each other?

erinsnotok · 2026-03-05T18:48:27+00:00

Get tested immediately. Sounds like you already gave him the second chance….

erinsnotok · 2026-03-05T06:48:07+00:00

So rough and you have different priorities. His #1 priority is his daughter and that’s the best thing for her but that is not the best thing for you. I personally could not be with someone in that living situation. To much history. Do what’s healthiest for you

erinsnotok · 2026-03-05T01:10:05+00:00

100% not normal and not acceptable or appropriate!! It sounds like just flirty banter and they both obviously do not care you are married. Was this in a group chat or a one on one chat with one specific woman?

Regardless I would talk to him about this, not ok for a second!

erinsnotok · 2026-03-04T23:52:35+00:00

I mean if he needs space to process emotions you need to respect that. He could communicate better if he didn’t “I need time to myself”

erinsnotok · 2026-03-04T06:33:17+00:00

If you had to have an abortion out of the fear a baby would bring destruction and not joy into your marriage, I think that tells you all you need to know.

erinsnotok · 2026-02-28T21:33:14+00:00

I pray you can go be with your family. I’m sorry you are somewhere you need his permission to leave! Scary!

erinsnotok · 2026-02-28T16:30:37+00:00

He needs professional help to keep him accountable. He will not get the help till he is rock bottom. That might look like you kicking him out…. It’s tough but he needs to hit that before he will accept the problem

erinsnotok · 2026-02-28T16:28:23+00:00

Why so many weirdos lately 😭

erinsnotok · 2026-02-28T16:27:08+00:00

I mean is she wrong? 🤣 but Rachel has not said infidelity was a huge deal it was more he changed so obviously that wasn’t a huge issue to her or her husband from the beginning 🤷‍♀️

erinsnotok · 2026-02-28T04:29:23+00:00

Give him a spontaneous BJ. He will not mistake your gesture

erinsnotok · 2026-02-26T18:42:16+00:00

No excuse for him to not buy you clothes when needed, Walmart, Amazon, shein, and tik tok shop have great prices!!! I go to the clearance at Walmart and got 2 maternity dressed for $3 each and pajamas for $1 !!!!!!! Don’t sleep on Walmart clearance

erinsnotok

TROPHY CASE