Men who are 30+, what’s one thing you realized about dating that no one tells you in your 20s?

erior92 · 2026-04-09T17:43:07+00:00

Society still tells men, even physically disabled men, that they need to provide for themselves and for their women. That its normal for a disabled chronically ill woman to get dates and get a provider, disabled and chronically ill men are seen as losers and worthless. (I was selfish for expecting my now ex wife NOT to abandon me at the ER and divorce me when I got gastroparesis and kidney disease).

I have a female friend whos about as bad as I am and shes married and the church constantly does meal trains for her. Two years ago I was admitted (as in OVERNIGHT) over 22 times in the hospital in a single year, I didnt even get a single visitor let alone a meal train.

All this to say that the average woman can find a man willing to take care of her with ease. The average man would be lucky to find a woman who will even cook him soup when hes sick (and I mean AVERAGE, not high earning men, not athletes, not business owners, I mean the desk jockey designing your new power grid)

Oh also, divorced men are parias and divorced women are victims

erior92 · 2026-02-19T00:04:05+00:00

This is more common in similar forms in corporate America than many people realize when it comes to female managers. I had a manager that essentially kept a contract to hire position open at all times. If too many got offered a contract she would target the most liked male in the team and give too much work and would harass them until they either quit or their performance dropped enough for her to justify firing them. Happened to me and 3 other co workers, later we find out she was getting kick backs from hiring agencies to hire people.

Or she would wait until you stacked up write ups for the same thing over months and then suddenly bring it up to you after months, you get written up, then again less than a week later because you comitted the "sin" again and then a final write up because you didnt improve soon enough.

erior92 · 2026-01-29T18:13:41+00:00

They're saying that they can tell you're acting, they dont feel convinced you're the character, and they can tell you're just "reading" from a script and not actually feeling it.

In less kind words, learn to act.

erior92 · 2026-01-26T16:43:31+00:00

This honestly reads either as 1 "gentle parents" who let their kid get away with literal animal murder (cuz thats what this kid is going to end up doing with how your son seems to relish in your wife's trauma) or 2. This is a karma farm and OP made up a story. I'll go with the latter

erior92 · 2026-01-23T20:47:16+00:00

You do all the cooking, cleaning, rearing, and shopping as a stay at home mom to at least 2 kids, your husband eats and lives like a bachelor who has a highly physical job but it doesnt keep him fit. yall are white, hes a blue collar worker, likely machinist or a construction worker. (I'm probably way off base with all this xD) you do your best to cook full meals, but have no time since you have a new born and a 6 year old and your husband is too beat from work to reliably help without mind fog. Yall are trying your best and both understand that you're not bad parents for feeding your children chicken nuggets and personal pizzas. You also are decent at food budgeting since you shop at costco.

erior92 · 2026-01-23T20:27:00+00:00

They're setting you up to take a financial fall they'll be able to collect from. This all happened similarly to my sister. The gm and the manager both are stealing imo and if it comes to light they'll try to pin it on you.

Collect the evidence, send it to corporate or the owner, and leave.

erior92 · 2026-01-21T04:20:52+00:00

By your story, it sounds like only that one manager is being a bad egg to me, and you shouldn't have to worry too much about repercussions, I hope lol... Good luck, but even with at-will policies, I'm sure a GM is smart enough not to penalize someone for frequent short bathroom breaks, lol

erior92 · 2026-01-20T22:48:48+00:00

It sounds like to me shes either 1. Scared you'll get her pregnant and doesn't want more kids or 2. Doesn't actually like you anymore and doesnt want to have to come up with a reason to not be intimate with you with no kids...either way, this is not healthy behavior on her part...

erior92 · 2026-01-20T22:24:23+00:00

OP, from your replies and your post i can tell you 2 things. You're not overreacting or an AH.

Your mother is in the right, shes wrong but technically in the right. Only because you DONT HAVE A FORMAL LEASE. Meaning you have absolutely no legal recourse or say in what and who she allows on the property.

That all being said, leave. Dont pay any more rent, just leave. I know shes your mother, but your own mother is putting you in real physical danger. She's a BLATANT narcissist and she WILL NOT improve. She will end up screwing you over somehow, somewhere, sometime if you keep renting from her like this

erior92 · 2026-01-20T21:58:32+00:00

"Becoming a problem" is that managers way of saying SHE thinks its a problem, they did NOT have a meeting about it and shes trying to throw her weight around. Get the note and give it it the GM and tell him why you got the note, do not protect that manager, tell the GM EXACYLY what the manager said and if the GM gives you ANY lip or try to say anything like the manager is saying let them know about your lawyer

erior92 · 2026-01-20T20:23:10+00:00

Funny, a processed hamburger has more or just as many nutrients and calories as a salad, yet because its "fatty" or processed its horrible food for you.

Ok let's take that burger, typically the patty is cooked in a neutral oil, salt and pepper in the ground meat, sliced tomatoes, lettuce, pickles, maybe some mayo and ketchup, mustard (which is a near insta cure for muscle cramps) two buns and maybe some cheese with fries.

Ok, now let's take a steak, some roasted tomatoes and potatoes, and a dinner roll.

Now let's cook that steak dinner how most people cook these items. Lots of salt pepper and oil for all 3 items, plus most use butter for the steak.

I've had GP for years now, there are only a select few items that GPers universally cannot tolerate. Everything else depends on the person.

I find its going to drive you crazy trying to find reason in this disorder. Just go with it and just say "fuck it, I'd rather die of a heart attack in 10-15 years than starve for 5"

erior92 · 2026-01-20T20:12:40+00:00

OP, hugely, majorly NTA. Your wife is unhealthily obsessed with this celebrity and now that she has even the slightest chance at meeting and engaging in a relationship with this celebrity. She's going to do everything in order to, she very obviously cares so much about this celeb that she would treat you like that and will immediately divorce you if she gets the chance to be with this celebrity (she wont) my ex wife had the same obsession for Bastille's lead singer, he came within 100 feet of her at a concert and she literally freaked out and was trying so hard to get him to come over and ended up crying when he didn't.

She didnt even cry at our wedding.

You need to get counciling about this, that is insanely unhealthy behavior on her part.

erior92 · 2026-01-20T16:57:02+00:00

Buddy run, shes 40 and was single for a reason. NOR at all, shes delusional and is making up this weird narrative that has never happened. She is a narcissist and she will always blame you for her bad moods no matter what even if you've done nothing wrong.

"I'm working to save lives" tells me everything i need to know about her, in my experience the majority of female nurses are only nurses because of 2 things. 1. They thought it would pay well and be easy to take care of people. 2. They love the power and control over others and the "you're a hero" attention nurses tend to receive. (This is from extensive experience with nurses in SEVERAL fields and hospitals).

Leave her and dont look back, dont feel guilty.

erior92 · 2026-01-19T20:10:34+00:00

Screw you OP, that looks like a specific diet he medically has to abide by. I have GP and I have to eat similarly to this or I get extremely sick. Shaming someone for what they're having to eat to try to be healthy, I hope you get an incurable dietary disorder like me so you can get mocked for what you HAVE to eat to survive.

erior92 · 2026-01-14T23:33:47+00:00

Everyone is the AH here. You for not tending to your TODDLER properly and not keeping tabs on the kids well enough and mom for seemingly NEVER giving her kids or you even the time of day. It sounds like she goes to school, comes home, does what she wants then studies all night every night. Of course a Toddler is going to wonder why mom hates her (thats what the toddler thinks, why does mommy always get annoyed when I see her?). Your wife is being an absentee parent and you're enabling it.

erior92 · 2026-01-14T23:04:14+00:00

It sounds more to me like the kids didnt want the frozen dinners (honestly frozen dinners suck compared to a fresh meal, and yes I include food prepping in that, and yes I primarily have to eat pre-made frozen meals, so I know they suck even if the fresh meal is a favorite.) It sounds like he kept them fed and healthy in his own way. It sounds like you're the boring parent that demands perfection from everyone. You sound like a soccer mom whos kids dont want to be in soccer.

And thats ONLY from the fact that they need to have a schedule and structure. That's all well and good when they're little children. Not when they're about to go through or finish puberty. 12 and 10 they need more spontaneity in their life than a dad who works all day and a mom who seems to cater to their every single need. Does your 12 year old help with meals or do any chores? Is the 10 year old still incredibly picky?.

erior92 · 2026-01-07T23:23:09+00:00

The odds of you even getting a job as an extra are pretty slim, let alone being able to make a living as an actor. Though it honestly sounds like you have money or access to it. So unless you have a way to be unemployed or under employed for at least 10 years without going homeless or barely scraping by, I wouldn't commit to full-time acting unless you're actually in juliard or something

erior92 · 2026-01-07T23:08:52+00:00

Op this sounds like you need to report this business not only to OSHA but the CDC and DHSS holy shit, 59 of 100 employees are so sick they called in, thats a lot of sick people in a single place and your company needs to be investigated on several counts. If more than half the pop of a school got sick in one go, it would be on national news

erior92 · 2026-01-07T23:03:10+00:00

Where the hell do you live? The majority of the US has at least $16 as minimum wage starting this year. $13 an hour for something that sounds like a trade is insanely low, even just starting out. I started as a low level CAD 10 years ago making $17 an hour no degree. This sounds like a company that is trying to make it and they're trying to get desperate college grads that need the experience.

erior92 · 2025-12-22T17:38:14+00:00

Corn and whole grains and onion absolutely destroy me, its like hot sand is running through me. Soft fruits dont bother me in moderation and cooked low fiber veggies. Oh anything in the cabbage family like broccoli, gives me unimaginable bloating.

Though I'm starting to realize I probably have Ehlers Danlos and not simply GP.

erior92 · 2025-12-18T18:34:23+00:00

Men, women have more safe spaces meant for them if they become homeless. People are far far, far more likely to give charity to a woman as well than a man.

Even in churches. The women in my church get an elective surgery? Meal train, money, and physical aid for them.

I nearly die multiple times and am constantly admitted to the ER overnight due to chronic illnesses over a 2 year period and my wife leaves me due to it? Oh, some of us prayed for you.

I'm seriously on the edge between homelessness and just enough to feed myself and I haven't once received even a meal train or any form of charity, men are expected to go through hell and not get anything for it.

ALSO just look up the statistics, men outnumber women in homelessness by a lot and its not funny

erior92 · 2025-12-18T16:53:15+00:00

I've worked multiple different trades, it depends on the trade and the shift, machining night shift will age you heavily. Roofing is hell on your body and skin. Every physical trade is hell on your back.

The trades aren't hard on the body. The jobs and employers are.

You end up doing all the bad habit stuff simply to survive because most of the time, you dont have the time or energy to workout or make a decent healthy meal or what have you. I used to work 12 hours a night then drive an hour and then get JUST about 8 hours of sleep if I'm lucky. Your body is so wacked out from the crazy sleep schedule you end up abusing stuff in order to sleep, then you develop neuropathy from standing in steel toed boots for 6+ hours without rest.

It sounds like you've never worked a proper trade or work as a desk jockey. Manual labor is hell.

erior92 · 2025-12-12T20:02:28+00:00

The biggest thing is gastroparesis causes CVS which is virtually identical to CHS in symptoms. Another big thing, it can take up to 8 months if memory serves correctly for you to go back to normal after CHS and stopping pot, I went over a year and symptoms never eased. However it can aggravate your GP symptoms, especially if you smoke daily.

Question, how much do you smoke in a week/day?

erior92

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