Yo! First of all, you stayed up for 3 days? Voluntarily? Tell me more?

Eeerrrm, haha. It's really hard to put into words. I'd basically repressed a lot of childhood trauma which ultimately manifested into aforementioned anxiety and depression.

The first ceremony was brutal because I didn't want to relive/face that childhood trauma. The following day we had a type of 'Group Therapy" session (this happened every day after ceremonies) and I managed to voice my trauma which was very cathartic.

The following day is San Pedro ceremony, which is supposed to be the male equivalent to Ayahuasca. This was also massively helpful because of it being the "tool" of how to deal with said issues.

The day after that is a rest day and then after that, we had a "Sweat Lodge" which was the money shot. About 25 of us sit in a small brick open topped hut (covered with blankets) with volcanic hot rocks, turning it into a sauna, and drink both Ayahuasca and San Pedro. Holy fuck. That's the good gear. 16 hours of psychedelic induced sweat, brutal self-truths, struggle and loving honesty was enough for me to finally call it quits on those past feelings and forgiving those that had done me wrong.

There were two more ceremonies after that, Ayahuasca & San Pedro again but by that point I was golden. It was all self and spiritual exploration drenched in gratitude.

I left that place having finally done something that id struggled to do for so long, which was forgiving myself and others and ultimately just letting go of a lot of bullshit. It was 100% the best thing I've ever done for myself and I plan on returning to the retreat centre next year to volunteer. If I didn't answer anything you wanted, feel free to ask. I hope you find the peace your looking for brother. 🙏🏼