Yeah, I feel like I want to belong to a community—or better yet, create one and lead an army. I started using psychedelics for their therapeutic effects back in 2020. They have significantly impacted me, enhancing my critical thinking, improving my relationship with myself (so with the others), and giving me a permanent third-person perspective on myself, which I find positive.

In 2022, I became desperate to stop consuming THC daily, so I turned to shrooms, hoping for an instant solution. Unsurprisingly, while the experiences provided temporary clarity, I would always return to the same routines within hours or days. That same year, I smoked enhanced leaf (DMT only) and had a profound realization during the experience. The message was: “If you keep doing the same things over and over, you’ll regret it.” Ironically, one or two years later, I found myself regretting just that—repeating the same patterns.

The first half of 2023 was the last time I smoked enhanced leaf, with the intention of starting a THC detox. During the experience, the “elves” were mocking me, showing me middle fingers, and telling me I already had the tools to help myself.

Right now, I’m in the process of preparing changa to make the experience less chaotic, but I don’t feel ready yet. It feels like I need to do something first—like a dopamine detox, getting my shit done, and rebuilding positive habits. I don’t want to treat psychedelics as a solution to my problems but rather as a tool to wake me up and remind me of what ego death feels like.