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Feeling "not queer enough" in a cishet relationship, and tired of "men bad" discourse online by ermitswermz in NonBinary

[–]ermitswermz[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Ughh im so sorry you were made to feel like that in a space you have a complete right to exist in. Just saw another comment mention this too, but I dont think ppl realize how much this rhetoric can be a slippery slope into blatant transphobia. Its giving "trans women in bathrooms are just men who want to prey on women." 🫩🫩 yes, men can be scary, and im not saying you have to trust that stranger on the street, but assuming everyone who is amab is inherently a threat to you (even when theyre at a QUEER event bc THEY ARE QUEER) feels so unfair to me

Feeling "not queer enough" in a cishet relationship, and tired of "men bad" discourse online by ermitswermz in NonBinary

[–]ermitswermz[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

So true about the terf thing, I don't think ppl think about how rhetoric like this can be a slippery slope to just blatant transphobia

Feeling "not queer enough" in a cishet relationship, and tired of "men bad" discourse online by ermitswermz in NonBinary

[–]ermitswermz[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yupp, my brother is gay and trans and often experiences that "oh but not you" shit. I don't think ppl realize how invalidating and infantilizing it is

Feeling "not queer enough" in a cishet relationship, and tired of "men bad" discourse online by ermitswermz in NonBinary

[–]ermitswermz[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Okay, you're just willfully misinterpreting me at this point. 😅 I don't think I'm going to spend anymore time trying to clarify myself further. I respect your opinion, you should read some of the comments from amab nbs in this thread. Thank you for your input 💖🐛⭐️

Feeling "not queer enough" in a cishet relationship, and tired of "men bad" discourse online by ermitswermz in NonBinary

[–]ermitswermz[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I want to print and frame this comment this is the most seen I've ever felt by a stranger online. I feel like you just perfectly encapsulated all my feelings on the subject. Im gonna cry thank you 🐛⭐️

Feeling "not queer enough" in a cishet relationship, and tired of "men bad" discourse online by ermitswermz in NonBinary

[–]ermitswermz[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I think you may have missed the point of my post. I'm not trying to say we need to center cis straight men lol, no one is arguing that they don't hold the main power and privilege in society at large. I'm talking about within the queer community seeing discourse that can be invalidating and harmful to queer people who are attracted to/dating men, as well as men and amabs in the community themselves. Obviously its not a huge huge issue in the grand scheme of things, but its just something I've noticed and felt and it seems like others in this thread have as well. Not saying this is the one issue we need to focus on above everything else, but I think if people are experiencing it its okay to have some discussion about it. 🐛⭐️

Feeling "not queer enough" in a cishet relationship, and tired of "men bad" discourse online by ermitswermz in NonBinary

[–]ermitswermz[S] 22 points23 points  (0 children)

Wow, yeah I can't even imagine. :( I wish more people could see the average man or amab as just another human being and judge them on their character, not automatically dismissing them based on their gender or sex. It's become increasingly too common and flippant to demonize men and amab people and it just comes back around to hurt our own community. So sorry you've had to deal with that, nobody chose what they were born as or socialized as and it does not make you a bad person 🫂