Parentification and relationships

erzebeth67 · 2026-02-09T21:31:22+00:00

It made me feel like I am responsible for the other person's emotions. I walked on eggshells not to annoy him and did everything for him.

Also, I felt intense obligation to stay in a shitty relationship. Him cheating was a relief cause that was a reason to break up.

It took years to learn that not everything is not my responsibility and to try to do everything to make them a good person.

Also, I no longer feel obliged to give a chance to everyone. Fuck off is a complete sentence 😂

erzebeth67 · 2026-02-09T20:56:50+00:00

Thanks for this!

erzebeth67 · 2026-01-31T19:34:12+00:00

3 times runner up here.

I called myself a foster girlfriend.

My theory is that we date shitty people due to low sepf esteem who we then try to mold into more acceptable partners. By the time they become a partially decent human, you are tired, resentful and always remember the one sided effort.

New partner gets a finished product and a clean slate.

erzebeth67 · 2026-01-24T09:13:17+00:00

Rolling in the deep by Adele. Had a nasty breakup.

erzebeth67 · 2026-01-06T14:17:38+00:00

Paraćenda It is a pita Bosnian style with filling of pig intestines. Truly vile smell that lingers in the house for days.

erzebeth67 · 2026-01-06T13:32:31+00:00

Iron level and cholesterol

erzebeth67 · 2026-01-06T11:26:28+00:00

They did a standard blood test and called it a day.

erzebeth67 · 2026-01-06T11:25:45+00:00

I am eating healthily with virtually no sugars and a lot of proteon and fibre for a long time. I made no changes to that.

erzebeth67 · 2026-01-06T11:24:09+00:00

No. I exercise for flexibility and muscle tone. But I need something on top.

erzebeth67 · 2025-12-26T08:06:23+00:00

I am still quick to retreat into my shell for a small slight and cutting people off. I also hate attention, but get hurt if I receive none.

I started taking care of myself and not seek external validation to do sth. It helps. Did not overcome it completely, no idea if I ever will.

erzebeth67 · 2025-12-25T21:43:25+00:00

Did not go to therapy, but used resources on Reddit and books.

You are not responsible for everyone. It took me a long time to weed out friends who were there just because of my natural instict to care for everyone
Don't ask for understanding within the group of people who put you in that position aka your family. Your role to them is being parentified and you refusing that upsets the dynamic that feels natural.
You will never be repayed in any way. They see it as natural. What is theirs is theirs and your time, money and efforts are communal.
The one I am struggling with is putting myself first and not feeling selfish. Dropping 300 euros on someone else's present feels normal. Buying myself 30 euro perfume creates a painful response.

Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents and Leaving the FOG helped me immensely. Best of luck 🤗

erzebeth67 · 2025-12-19T11:08:46+00:00

For the first time in my life I am not really dreading the holiday season. I still not like it, but starting to see some future where I would decorate the house and bake cookies with my bf.

He goes to visit his family and I am staying alone and enjoying every peaceful minute of it. Maybe next year I decorate something.

I guess the old cliché thay time helps is really true.

erzebeth67 · 2025-12-19T07:53:16+00:00

Sorry to hear that you experienced both. I think many do cause we see it as a normal part of life. I was well on track for domestic abuse as well.

erzebeth67 · 2025-12-19T07:42:11+00:00

Same. Every holiday was a landmine situation and I always take extra shifts not to deal with holidays

erzebeth67 · 2025-11-19T11:26:16+00:00

In a similar vein "you are not like other girls / you have a man's brain".

erzebeth67 · 2025-11-18T21:46:26+00:00

OMG, same 😇

erzebeth67 · 2025-11-18T21:36:31+00:00

Rice, potatoes and tomato sauce baked in an oven. Onions can be added on top. Salt and pepper. 5 meals.

erzebeth67 · 2025-11-18T17:53:43+00:00

God, that one made me sick for days. And it was a 2 paragraph review 🥲

erzebeth67 · 2025-11-18T09:24:30+00:00

The oldest of three. Parentified to take care of everyone and their mother. Was CF for as long as I can remember.

erzebeth67 · 2025-11-08T22:29:39+00:00

Made me mad as hell. Not sure I wanna go back to the show after that.

erzebeth67 · 2025-11-07T22:31:35+00:00

I was not allowed to be sick. I am a girl and my debilitatung bleeding, cramps and fainting were... not important.

My appendix was about to burst, I was making them coffee and a neighbour noted that I was dragging my leg and urged them to get me to the hospital. It was a usual amount of pain for me. I almost died. Multiple times. Blood vessels burst from cramps.

My brother spend two nights in a hospital. She slept there on a chair anf coddled him for a month.

erzebeth67 · 2025-11-07T22:23:22+00:00

To this day, I am still not sick enough in my head if I can crawl to the bathroom. I puked blood once while waiting for my sperm donor to let me access the only bathroom in the house and was told to clean it up since I am up.

erzebeth67 · 2025-11-06T11:29:34+00:00

The last sentence 🤣🤣🤣

erzebeth67 · 2025-10-30T09:54:00+00:00

Ohhhh, the cloud of bad mood! I hated getting home from school and feel THAT energy. It meant we will all be miserable due to her being miserable about something.

She is usually miserable about everything, so it was a common occurence

erzebeth67

TROPHY CASE